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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Only by written contract, and in the case of conservancy, only with the approval of a Judge. Claims alleged after the patient dies, with nothing in writing, are generally laughed out of court.
It appears that there are 2 elder law firms in your area. yellowpages/search?query=elder%20law&area=spotsylvania%20va&search_submit=Search/&flv=1
I highly suggest you do a consultation with one of them. The finacial planner my Dad left Mom in the hands of only took one look at her finances when I got home from out of country to realize he was working in his best interests and not hers (IRA's are managed fund money makers) I fired him got a hold of an elder law firm, had a family trust set up in and they have been able to switch things over in her best interest over the last 4 years. You wont be sorry. The attorney at the time mentioned a caregivers trust plan but found it counter beneficial in my personal situation and dont remember the details.
I would see an elder care lawyer. You should be using her funds to help pay the costs of her care. If you have to place her in a nursing home they will definitely do so until she is impoverished. The money was for a rainy day and it is raining. Keep records to show you are using the funds for her and her needs.
As far as paying for your care of her, ask the lawyer. If you have to hire home health aides to assist with her care, it should be paid by her funds--the home health aides are after all giving her care.
If your mother has her wits about her, is competent, she might wish to revise her will if the other daughters are not contributing to or assisting her in her hour of need. Daughters do not need to inherit from a parent. She could leave whatever remains of her estate to any cause or person she wishes to.
If you are the only one stepping up to care for your mother, try not to focus on the ones failing to step up. Just keep it in your memory so you never depend on them in the future. Even living a distance away, an adult child can find a way to contribute in some way for a parent. Just hiding from the situation really isn't acceptable. Consider yourself an only child, and act accordingly. Focus on mothers care.
No, Mom is the only one who could do that and only if she had the legal capacity. An attempt on your part may be challenged latter in Probate Count alleging "Undue Influence". Any unauthorized transfers of Mom's money or assets could also result in adverse consequences.
There are programs under the medicaid waiver where a family member (you) can be paid to be a caregiver. I would call your local Area Agency on Aging and see if you are in a state that has that type of service available. No permission or attorneys required.
Be careful about elder lawyers. Had a real bad one in Cincinnati. Went with a regular lawyer who I felt good about, I have financial power of attorney, keep all receipts but I am not too diligent about keeping records, but realize that I am taking care of my mom, that is what is needed--my sisters don't help, but that is their problem.
BettyA2007, this is a not a Medicaid situation. It sounds like the OP's mother has some assets. I would talk to an attorney, and I also think the adult caregiver child should receive more(if there is anything left) than the do nothing sibling. You give up your time, your energy, and many times compromise your own health. That needs to be recogonized.
My Mother lives with my brother. She has always paid for a lot of the things associated with running his house. PLUS she sometimes picks up the house payment and always pays for car maintenance and gas for her car as my brother drives here wherever. He "earns" about $700-800 a month. BUT mom is independent and aware enough of things to do this of her choice. (I learned this little dynamic and the reason WHY brother won't opt for a NH for mom (she really, really should be in one) is that he cannot financially make it from month to month if she didn't do this. If the person is not mentally capable of making financial decisions, I am pretty sure you'd need lawyers involved and the rest of the siblings, too. However, my mother will leave us with nothing, so none of us cares that she's helping out my brother & his family.
Just my opinion, but I took care of my father and I would never want any money to take care of him. I was his daughter.My screen name is my Dad's name.
I'm with Pam on this one. No such a thing as a "caregiver's agreement". All agreements, basically contracts, are signed, and often witness by at least two parties. The Law of Contract applies. The cared-for one is the first person to sign any agreement for their care.. Other participants in the care may sign, offering their services. No caregiver can set themselves up as a lone signee, expecting to get paid.......( by whom? When?). Any lawyer who tells you otherwise is incorrect.
If you want to be paid, and I don't see why you shouldn't, set up an agreement NOW on a pay-as-you-go plan. You are the one doing the work, so you are the one to be compensated for that. Then splitting anything remaining when Mom dies is less unfair.
See an Elder Law attorney to ensure doing this correctly, especially if your sibling is apt to question it.
roseinwinter, good for you. You made your choice. Each circumstance is different and one-size does not fit all concerning compensation for parental care.
You do not always need a lawyer to set up a Contract. All you need is a description of what services or goods are being contracted for and the reimbursement rate, the dates/times the contract is covering, and maybe the location of services/goods, and who will supervise any claims or controversies that may arise if someone claims Beach of Contract. There's contracts being signed by the millions world-wide for various reasons. Go online and you will find all sorts. If you have a good head on your shoulders and can put into writing exactly what your mom wants or needs, that you are willing to offer, and at what price, go for it. Lawyers cost so much money, for the same work and to boot then they think they own your family....other siblings will call them up with senseless chatter and perhaps that lawyer would rather send the bill to your mom or her estate than the sibling. Whenever you "call lawyer" you better be prepared to spend thousands of dollars, and never know when the "lawyer-client relationship" ends or to whom the invitation will be extended for all those (expensive) phone calls. I understand some lawyers might have better ethics than this, but in 30 yrs of 12 diff lawyers for various reasons, they have all been 1/very expensive, and 2/ very vague about billings. I even had Legal Insurance at one point for a business need, and it was a total waste of money. Always try to find your own solutions--go online, or visit a library, do your own research and don't just rely on "the lawyer said to do this and it cost me a few grand so it must be right."
samara, I agree that many solutions can be done by the individuals involved. But when there is high possibility of conflict among sibling or other family, going the route of hiring a professional may well be worth the extra expense.
midkid58, a couple of things. You contradict yourself for one. How is your mother independent and aware of things but at the same time she should be in a NH? That makes no sense.
She is living with your brother not you. If he is driving her places and putting a roof over her head, why shouldn't she contribute to his household.
And how are you taking care of your mother as your profile says? She lives with your brother and you said he drives here everywhere. So what role do you play?
You sound more like the critical do nothing sibling.
Roseinwinter, I never wanted payment for taking care of my beloved father either, until I had to quit my job of 8 years in order to take care of him and, subsequently, became broke. If I couldn't support myself on my father's monthly income, I would not be able to take care of him at all. But, as it is, I care for him 24/7 -- literally, as I sleep poorly because of listening for any trouble from my father's room. Why respond at all if you weren't going to offer a legitimate answer to her question. It wasn't so offensive that it called for your pointing out something bothering you. As for avcm/caregiver, it sounds like your mom has an "estate" to leave. It is only an estate after she's gone. Are you and caring for her and paying for her needs and letting her income go into the bank while your sibs are doing nothing for her but going on about their own lives undisturbed? Whatever your loved one has is there for the purpose of caring for her, not for the purpose of having something to leave for others. Medicaid is useless unless there is almost no income and 0 assets of any kind. Assuming you have power of attorney, get a trusted eldercare lawyer to help you make a budget for your mother's care. If you do not have poa -- speak to the attorney about THAT first. These are questions that have to be asked in order to keep from drowning while trying to care for someone very dear to you (us).
Midkid58, one practical concern that I have with your mother helping your brother so much financially concerns medicaid. If she ever needs to apply for medicaid because she has run out of money and must go to a nursing home, the five year look back will see a lot of gifting that will keep her from qualifying for medicaid that I believe medicaid will expect her son to repay which he is not able since he can hardly survive as is without her money.
Who is her durable and medical POA? Has she seen a doctor recently?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
yellowpages/search?query=elder%20law&area=spotsylvania%20va&search_submit=Search/&flv=1
I highly suggest you do a consultation with one of them.
The finacial planner my Dad left Mom in the hands of only took one look at her finances when I got home from out of country to realize he was working in his best interests and not hers (IRA's are managed fund money makers)
I fired him got a hold of an elder law firm, had a family trust set up in and they have been able to switch things over in her best interest over the last 4 years.
You wont be sorry. The attorney at the time mentioned a caregivers trust plan but found it counter beneficial in my personal situation and dont remember the details.
Keep records to show you are using the funds for her and her needs.
As far as paying for your care of her, ask the lawyer. If you have to hire home health aides to assist with her care, it should be paid by her funds--the home health aides are after all giving her care.
If your mother has her wits about her, is competent, she might wish to revise her will if the other daughters are not contributing to or assisting her in her hour of need. Daughters do not need to inherit from a parent. She could leave whatever remains of her estate to any cause or person she wishes to.
If you are the only one stepping up to care for your mother, try not to focus on the ones failing to step up. Just keep it in your memory so you never depend on them in the future. Even living a distance away, an adult child can find a way to contribute in some way for a parent. Just hiding from the situation really isn't acceptable. Consider yourself an only child, and act accordingly. Focus on mothers care.
The cared-for one is the first person to sign any agreement for their care.. Other participants in the care may sign, offering their services. No caregiver can set themselves up as a lone signee, expecting to get paid.......( by whom? When?).
Any lawyer who tells you otherwise is incorrect.
See an Elder Law attorney to ensure doing this correctly, especially if your sibling is apt to question it.
She is living with your brother not you. If he is driving her places and putting a roof over her head, why shouldn't she contribute to his household.
And how are you taking care of your mother as your profile says? She lives with your brother and you said he drives here everywhere. So what role do you play?
You sound more like the critical do nothing sibling.
Who is her durable and medical POA? Has she seen a doctor recently?