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Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Look at it this way. What would they be doing without you? Anyone who says you should be doing it for free is heartless. It is a horrible job, even if you like your parent. You can love and do the right thing by caring for them event though they are not the nicest people in the world, like in my case, but theres' no way you should it for free. It would cost them thousands to be in a home, or they'd be on the government dole, so PLEASE continue to take money. Do NOT go into financial ruin because someone wants to make you feel guilty for taking a little "rent"? For heaven's sakes. Whoever says you should sacrifice your life for your parent has never taken care of a parent 24/7 with no help and constant complaining. Do it legally, but DO IT!!! WE split the household expanse three ways. My Mom can comfortably afford it and it seems fair to me. Our toilet paper, gas, Kleenex, water and food bill have all gone up. The money just about covers it and she has $800 a month left. If someone wants to be a door mat and get used, then let them. I agree, take the money, but make sure your Mom is aware of it and has agreed to it.
Years late on subject but.......My Mom lives with me in an attached in-law apt..As per our Elder care Attorney, my money pays several utility bills a month, so no questions with Medicare..She has never had a license, I drive her everywhere, I clean, do her laundry etc...If I didn't have her pay any bills, it would mean more $ for my 6 other siblings who haven't foundthe time of day for her since she's been living here 12 7ears...
Not everyone can afford to have a parent with them and not use their money to defray the expenses of their care. Wish it were otherwise, but it is not! I can't judge others who have the same dilemma as I do. Without her input, we could never have brought her to our home.
There are many cases when parents would be paying for in-home care which would come to much more than they are paying for care from a family member who has given up work to provide the care.
The elders get the loving care of an adult child for much less money than they would pay for in-home care or other services which would be needed, should they stay in their own home. Or, if the adult child gives up a job, or works less, so he or she can provide care to the parent in the home, then why wouldn't the parent want to pay that person rather than an agency?
Obviously, this doesn't mean that an impoverished elder wouldn't be cared for. But caring for an elder is nothing like caring for a baby and they shouldn't be treated like they are babies. They generally have some Social Security and some have significant financial resources. The money should be spent on their care.
If it will go to an agency unless the family provides care, why shouldn't at least some of it go to the adult child who gives up work and time to provide that care? Everyone wins. . In my opinion, it's certainly not wrong to work out an agreement for the good of all.
N1K2R3: Are you kidding? In a perfect world I would agree with you when all siblings share equally in the care. But when one is responsible for total care and the others do nothing to help for whatever reason (selfishness, laziness, out-of-town, career, etc), then it is only reasonable to be compensated. It is a lot work and a big responsibility.
The life cycle has changed and the elderly are living 20+ more years. Comparing babies and elderly parents as far as care is like comparing apples to bananas - it's just not that simple.
Thank you for the replies. Maybe 'Rent' was the wrong word. I am doing this because I love my mom. She would have to pay to live somewhere and pay someone to take her to the doctor and church. She would need someone to look in on her. Since she is with me, I do all those things. It would be a huge burden on our family if we had to pay for all that. The cycle of life is that I have children of my own that I am now paying for. It was not in the plan to add another house member to the mix. I only need her help not her life savings.
Unless you have walked 10 thoudand miles in someone elses tennis shoes you have know right to judge what another does. some of us grew up poor and maybe not as a baby when our grandparents kept us till we were ready to go to school but as soon as we could work in the fields or old enough to get a full time job we paid rent every week 35.00 from 3 kids when rent for a three bedroom house was 35.00 a month or less, pay car payments that the car was reproduced because we had to have beer money, pay furniture bills that the furniture was sold so we could have beer money, we are not well to do and we have a home we are buying that is nothing spectacular so yes we CHARGE RENT !!!! NEONWOCKY
I'm either seeing words that I can't believe, or I'm reading the texts of people who are so far off the understanding of the cycle of life that they have become mental paupers. Of course you DO NOT CHARGE "RENT" for allowing a parent into your home to be cared for there. Did someone charge you "rent" when you were a helpless baby? It's the cycle of life. You come into this world DEPENDENT and someone takes care of you. You live with them. Children of the elderly, infirm or ill should take care of those cared for them. It's the cycle of life. Money arrangements are varied.........some elderly have their own money set aside for their care. Others DEPEND on their children. The tax code allows this in the document known as "Credit For the Elderly"........credit on their children's Return. In either event, caring for someone who cared for you is not only the right thing to do, it is an act of charity. N1K2R3
I also meant to say I charge my mother 300.00 a month. This goes for groceries only. Her food stamps she spends on herself and this gives her 400 a month spend money I wish I had that much spend money every month but my father earned it, he is gone and I pay for everything including all his burial expenses which she didn't even offer to help with, neither did my siblings but when its her time to goe my siblings will be receiving a bill from the funeral home for a third of that expense My sister says i asked for it by binging them down to take care of them in thier old age and she and my brother distanced their selves from them because my mother is NPD I had made ammends with dad which comforts me but there is no such thing going to happen with my mother so I brought it all on myself, It just now took her 2 years and five months to screw up the courage to tell me that. In essence it is true but not very compassionate so I won't be sharing anything else with her.
Yes, my mother makes very little but still has to eat. she receives 700 a month ss, 46.00 a month in food stamps and this is documented in at medicaid when she has her annual revue. The rest I provide.
I highly recommend talking to an Eldercare Attorney. He/She can help you with what I call creative finances for elder care. I agree with Carol that if a parent needs care anyway, and you are providing that service, you should be compensated. My dad died and through the attorney I found out my mom qualified for VA benefits (aid and attendance). It helps to know what you can and can't do with their money.
Much depends on the parent's circumstance. If the parent would need care anyway and you can provide a home and care, there's no reason why a financial arrangement shouldn't be worked out. You should get it down in writing so there are no questions later if she needs to go on Medicaid. I'd go so far as to say an estate attorney may be a good idea, especially is she is getting frail or has limited income and may need Medicaid soon. Work it out legally, and you'll have less to worry about on the other end. But certainly, she would have to pay to live somewhere, and unless you have unlimited resources, some sort of compatible deal could work out for both of you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The elders get the loving care of an adult child for much less money than they would pay for in-home care or other services which would be needed, should they stay in their own home. Or, if the adult child gives up a job, or works less, so he or she can provide care to the parent in the home, then why wouldn't the parent want to pay that person rather than an agency?
Obviously, this doesn't mean that an impoverished elder wouldn't be cared for. But caring for an elder is nothing like caring for a baby and they shouldn't be treated like they are babies. They generally have some Social Security and some have significant financial resources. The money should be spent on their care.
If it will go to an agency unless the family provides care, why shouldn't at least some of it go to the adult child who gives up work and time to provide that care? Everyone wins. . In my opinion, it's certainly not wrong to work out an agreement for the good of all.
Carol
The life cycle has changed and the elderly are living 20+ more years. Comparing babies and elderly parents as far as care is like comparing apples to bananas - it's just not that simple.
Of course you DO NOT CHARGE "RENT" for allowing a parent into your home to be cared for there. Did someone charge you "rent" when you were a helpless baby? It's the cycle of life. You come into this world DEPENDENT and someone takes care of you. You live with them. Children of the elderly, infirm or ill should take care of those cared for them. It's the cycle of life. Money arrangements are varied.........some elderly have their own money set aside for their care. Others DEPEND on their children. The tax code allows this in the document known as "Credit For the Elderly"........credit on their children's Return. In either event, caring for someone who cared for you is not only the right thing to do, it is an act of charity.
N1K2R3
Marie
Carol