I am my mom’s full time caregiver. I have a woman who comes in four days a week and is an independent contractor- by her choice. She is full of drama and at first seemed to have things under control, but now she is taking more days off, leaving earlier without telling me and leaving mom alone when I have appointments.
I am trying to figure out what I need to do to tell her I don’t need her anymore bc of her drama. The chaos is really starting to affect mom cognitively.
Normally, I would call our attorney and ask this question, but he recently passed and I’m looking for a new attorney.
Any advice is welcomed and greatly appreciated.
It’s appropriate to give some notice (or payment in lieu of notice) – carers have to organise their lives and finances, just like the rest of us. By the old common law, the notice had to be as long as the payment period, but a longer period is less likely to break any newer laws.
It’s a sensible idea to remove anything of value that could be picked up in the last days. These days, sacked employees are often escorted out immediately after the termination and a chance to clear out their desk (with no computer access). It’s cruel, but something to think about if there is going to be bad feeling involved.
I had help from Council on Aging who had a contract with a particular agency that we used. Most of the caregivers were very good. There were a couple of caregivers that I had issues with.
I had a caregiver who was a young student that kept asking for different hours than she agreed to initially. She wasn’t extremely experienced but was willing to do the job and she was very kind to my mom. She didn’t have her own car. Her parents would drop her off and pick her up. The parents pressured her to change her schedule, unfortunately that schedule didn’t work for us. I didn’t care that she inquired about different hours but she lied to me and told me that the agency changed the schedule.
When I called the agency to see if the hours had been changed, I found out that she lied. I wasn’t happy that she lied to me. I was perfectly willing to accept that she was younger than most caregivers because she did a satisfactory job and I figured that she would gain experience.
Another caregiver that we had didn’t interact with my mom at all. She did as little as possible and mom wasn’t comfortable with her. When I said something to the agency about her not being a good fit for my mom, the manager said that they had already let her go because they had numerous complaints about her.
We ended up with a woman in her 30’s, a single mom who was fabulous! She helped mom with all that she needed, bathing, fixing her meal, tidying up her room, etc. She interacted with my mom beautifully. She was happy to share a cup of coffee or tea with mom or watch a television show that they both liked. Mom loved seeing pictures of her darling little girl. She had her own transportation and was on time. If she did run late, she was polite and called us. She was a joy to be around. She offered to do more than we needed but I always told her that I would do it, that she did enough. We loved her and asked the agency to only send her. She loved mom and was happy to come for each visit.
It really is important to have the right fit. It’s a two way street. We deserve to have a wonderful caregiver and they deserve appreciation and respect.
I know that you hired privately. Get references. Screen as much as possible. Make sure that you are in agreement on what is needed.
Best wishes to you. I hope that you will find a caregiver that is satisfactory, caring and reliable.
Some people are overly cautious these days, even when the situation is perfectly legal. They become paranoid about being slapped with a lawsuit.
For your next person you may want to assure that if she, too, is an "independent contractor" i.e., not hired and paid through an agency, that you are following all the labor laws for withholding and payment of Social Security and unemployment insurance. It's not hard to do and is best for both you and the carer, especially in any situation where the carer might be injured and need worker's comp or unemployment.
We have a very generic contract with her. And the state we live in is an at will state.
Thanks for the input everyone. It has helped a lot.