He has fallen several times, but he only fell back into the bed one time and the other times, someone has caught him before any injury occurred. He also has some dimentia. He wants to stay in his house by himself and the kids are saying okay. How is this any different than leaving a child alone at home? The kids want to get nursing care in, but he says "no". Can they legally leave him like that? The doctors said someone should be with him 24 hrs a day and be within arms length.
A 7-year-old may tell you he doesn't need a baby-sitter. An impaired person with dementia may tell you he doesn't need nursing care. I personally think it is morally irresponsible to let either of them make those decisions.
What is your spouse's position about this?
Please share with your spouse from us that their Dad absolutely cannot be left alone!
They will need to collectively meet with him and no matter how difficult conversation may turn out to be, they need to communicate to him that they would happily support his decision to stay at home, but in order to do so, by law because of his high fall risk, he has to have a live-in caregiver; and they should take the opportunity to have him express his wishes on his medical care, and address Power of Attorney, etc.
They could suggest to him that family members could take turns to to be in the home with him while he and the family try out a Live-in Care giver so he and the family can break into having a paid live-in/allow him time to adjust to having hired care around him/his space.
I don't know what area you are in, but feel free to post on my wall and I will post back more custom info on your wall on suggestions based on your area.
A good source for Caregiver's with background checks, etc., is Care.com where you can find tremendously experienced caregivers and/or Care Service Agency info. I initially hired services through Agencies, but rates are pretty high ($18-$20/Hr for Live-out, and close to $300 per 24Hrs for Live-in,) then found that I could source and direct hire Awesome Caregivers with excellent experiences, refs and even certifications to RN levels for less than I had to pay agencies while more fairly compensating these individuals that were there day-in-day out in the trenches with us caring for our grandparents.
Let us know how things go, with all our best wishes!
Most elders afflicted with Dementia and Alzheimer's do not like these debilitation's being sighted, so I would highly advise more pointed mentions of Stroke aspect(s), and Stroke risks in future as being the reasons family and Doctor need father in-law to make his wishes and living arrangements known as a mandatory medical need so everyone can try to abide by his wishes in as much as is possible.
Give this a try and let us know how it goes, all the best!