In assisted living for 18 months. Was doing "ok", but last 6 months wants to go home! My mother tells me to go to hell, I "did" this to her, she will never forgive me, etc. However, staff says she is doing well. I wonder if I jumped the gun by moving her too soon??? She was hallucinating, calling police, wandering, not eating. All this resolved , once she entered the AL facility. Should I move her back, and try one more time????
For your own sanity, detach a bit from Mom. As ladee says, don't answer 10 calls a day. Leave if a visit gets abusive. "Mom, today my presence here seems to be upsetting you. I'll leave now and hope for a better visit next time I come."
I wonder if her outbursts indicate a worsening on the dementia scale. How is her memory? Her judgment?
Now the role has reversed. We may not always be their "little girl" or best buddy, but we can leave the AL or SKN knowing that we made the right decision and did the right thing. We may not always feel good about the decision--but our decisions cannot always be made based on our feelings or emotions. The officer in the military cannot go with his "feelings" but with his integrity in doing what is right; the pastor cannot always go with his feelings when giving a sermon, but boldly proclaims truth from the Scriptures, knowing that people may not always like what he says; and the policeman cannot always give or not give the ticket according to what he feels, but does what is right--keeping us safe....I hope you keep us updated. This is not the easiest time, but may we count our blessings for the good talks...the special moments... etc..Something that helps my mother's and my relationship: I choose an activity at my mother's SKN and accompany her at the activity. For her it is listening to The Piano Man each Wed. We have a wonderful time and we both look forward to it.