Is there any way I can have my sister who is POA of my mother, investigated for taking me off checking and savings accounts after she became sole POA. She has moved the cking and svings accts in her name and my mom's name and took me off. My mom is 88 years old and doesn't remember what she does with anything; she does not want to get involved and told me to take care of things to put everything in her will (trust) back the way it was before her atty's retired a year and half ago which was 50/50 between my sister and me. I can't and won't get my mom involved because it would be detrimental to her and I am not willing to sacrifice my mom. I live 300 mile away so it makes it difficult for me to keep tabs on my sister. I feel she is being dishonest with the money and that is what my question is: Is there anyway, without getting my mom involved that I can have my sister audited or see what she is up to?
If your Mom is of sound mind, she can make any changes she chooses. Does she know that your sister took you off? Is there a compelling reason she took you off? I am afraid that you will have to get your Mom involved if you really want to insure that sis is doing the right thing. If you do not get her involved, then you will have to live with the consequences.
I have had so much of this going on within my orbit. I wish that all family would understand that, while your parents are still alive, it is THEIR money and assets. Your sis should not be helping herself to Mom's income unless it is directly for her care.
Good luck...these things are so draining!
I'm the last of 6 siblings and the only one that stepped up. My sibs were very much in denial of Mom's growing disability and financial suicide, so I stepped in. I'll never regret it and to be honest nearly 3 years later, all my sibs are grateful to me for stepping in. (lol! they are grateful that someone stepped in... as long as it wasn't them! but that's ok. I get their trepidation. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my 43 years, even those 80 - 100 hour work weeks I did in my twenties).
I officially became DPOA in 2007 and found out someone (prolly a fired agency caregiver) was stealing from Mom's bank account! I've now been doing all her accounting and bill paying since 2007 on a full-time basis. I've been her full-time personal caregiver since 2008, moving into her home ('08) as she needs 24/7 care.
There are legal repercussions to mishandling an elders funds when you are POA.
You may consider speaking to an elder lawyer or going to a book store and buying a book on this subject. In any event, you might speak to your sister and request that she at least send you copies of the monthly statements.
It is a difficult situation whether you are the POA or the sibling without the POA unless everyone is honest and open. Even then there will be disagreements as to how the money is spent. In my case, I receive no family assistance and there were disagreements about spending money on respite care. It is never an easy situation.
Try to look at it from your sister's perspective. If you are 300 miles away and she is dealing with all mom's daily needs, multitude of doctor and health care providers. medications and insurance issues on a regular basis, etc. then it makes sense to do whatever makes it more efficient for her not you.
Maybe the new bank is a better situation - closer, better on-line features, cheaper service charges, etc. You need to ask her why the change and why now.
Do you specifically know that your mom's money is being used in a way that she would not agree to? You better make sure before you "have her investigated" because you could find yourself ostracized from mom and the extended family.
For Nina - on most DPOA there is a hold-harmless clause for whomever is the DPOA. It's my understanding that if someone wants to find fault or "cause" with whatever the DPOA is doing then almost always they would need to do so legally.
And as POA they can use mom's money to pay for their attorney.
Unless you want guardianship or conservatorship of the elderly person you are best served by working with whomever is POA rather than against them. Being POA can be a big responsibility. I did POA and was executor for two maiden "aunts" and it was quite the experience. Still have cousins mad.....
"Disinheriting other beneficiaries - If the original owner adds one child to an account but has other children they want to inherit the account, then by adding one and not all of the children's names the owner will have effectively disinherited all of the other children. And even if the surviving joint owner agrees to give the other children their fair share of the account, care must be taken to avoid any gift tax consequences."
If she is joint on the accounts vs being POA on the accounts, then Mom has inadvertently DISINHERITED my elder sister and me, even though her will had specified her estate to be divided equally between the trhee of us. The bank accounts are Mom's ONLY estate outside of personal belongs (clothing mostly).
My issue is that Mom's original intentions in her will won't be executed as she thinks, and whether or not I should attempt to have her correct the situation by having my sister change to be POA ONLY on the accounts.