My grandma was contacted and is being investigated by adult services for financial abuse. Her bank is claiming me and my mother have misused her bank account. I have told them a portion of the money is what my grandmother loaned me for some custody legal fees for my daughter and I am paying her back with my tax return. They are still being pushy and continuing the investigation. They've gotten my grandma to revoke POA from my mother by getting her confused. She has early stage Alzheimer's but is still able to drive and care for herself everyday.
Of course, if the fault is on the other driver, an attorney is wise to protect one's rights.
You need to talk with an attorney.
Word of warning: if your grandmother stays alive long enough to need long-term care and she will need assistance to pay for it -- meaning Medicaid, before she is given that assistance, Medicaid will demand to see every transaction that has occurred in her bank account over an EXTENDED amount -- they could go back 5 years. It can be an ugly audit of accounts and your grandmother could be denied assistance for these financial "gifts" (mishaps?).
The best you and your mother can do for your grandmother is to not touch her bank accounts and don't ask for money from her. It's harsh, I know, but that is truly the best action to take at this point.
Two months later the bank manager calls my husband. MIL had applied on-line for a HELOC & she was concerned. Hubby was concerned as well but legally couldn’t do anything, plus his mother hadn’t said a word to him about it. He knew deep down what his sisters were trying to do. Bank manager insisted MIL come in alone or with my husband and/or lawyer to discuss the loan application. She made it very clear to MIL those were the only ones who could be present. I guess they go thru this enough. MIL went alone and made a huge scene that it’s her money, blah blah blah. Bank manager calmed her down by saying they would submit the application but weren’t sure if it would be approved, as she didn’t have the income to pay it but they would try. Loan was denied. Bank manager kept my husband up to date throughout the whole process, MIL hasn’t said a word & that was 2 years ago.
Hubby has never looked at the accounts he has access to; heck, he doesn’t even look at our accounts. 😒
Getting that now would look suspicious, so Grandma needs to go into her bank and at least sign the banks paperwork that allows you access to her account and then-you can only do limited things.
I attend to my Mom's financial things but at her bequest and I have gotten to know most of the people at her bank quite well but there are still some legal documents that need her attention that only she can do, and this is because she refuses to give me DPOA.
Good luck.