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My mom refuses to leave the house and said she will never see a doctor again so we can't get a diagnosis. She can't take care of herself anymore. My brother and I are worried about calling in a social worker because we were told that the social worker could possibly gain guardianship over her and she could end up in a nursing home anywhere, not nearby. We would lose complete control over her. We can't afford to get a lawyer and have this drag on. She really needs to be placed soon. Can anyone tell me about their experiences or give me good advice when it comes to dealing with a social worker?

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Tell Mom that she needs to cooperate with you and brother or she and all her assets will be under state guardianship.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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You have no control over her NOW, obviously, if she's refusing to leave the house or ever see a doctor again! Do you have POA for Mom? Both medical and financial? If so, YOU can place her against her will.

Secondly, there are geriatric doctors who make house calls. I signed my folks up for one back in 2011, in fact. You can get her seen that way, perhaps not diagnosed with dementia though. But if you want her placed in a Memory Care Assisted Living facility and you DO have POA, make some calls and see if they require a written diagnosis from a doctor or what. If it's a Skilled Nursing facility, do you have the Medicaid paperwork ready?

Thirdly, you can call 911 and exaggerate a story about mom having chest pains and burning when she urinates. Again, if you are POA and she refuses to go with the EMTs, just take them aside, tell them you hold POA and she has dementia, and MUST be seen in the ER. Once you get her there, THEN the social workers can help you get her placed. A social worker is not going to take guardiandpship themselves.....but they'd have the state do so. But why? You are obviously there for mom, caring and worried......don't borrow trouble on that. The state takes over when an elder has been abandoned and has no family.

Those are some ideas if you hold POA. If not, see an Elder Care attorney who offers a free consultation for advice moving forward.

Best of luck
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Reply to lealonnie1
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I agree with Lea that you have no control over your mother NOW, so what is the problem. She is not diagnosed incompetent in her own decisions.
Why do you believe she cannot take care of herself any more?
If you call APS to assess your mother they will intervene to help you get a diagnosis for her. That will be done at a hospital. There you will have a social worker who will help you become guardian if you are A) capable of doing that difficult job and knowledgeable on how to keep the meticulous records required B) willing to do this.

I would not be guardian for an uncooperative senior. It is hard work, thankless and a mess. I would be thrilled to have the State take on guardianship with a Fiduciary.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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