A very dear friend was just moved into an assisted living facility and me and my roommates have visited her daily, helped take care of her kitten, taken her to appointments and I am on her call list if she has had an emergency and was taken to the hospital. I buy her food, clothes, bedding to make her more comfortable. Her POA lives out of state and doesn't come to visit ever, and recently she has notified the facility that we are no longer allowed to visit. My friend has dementia, but remembers us and always looked forward to our visits. She has been forbidden to use the main receptionist phone to call us and they will not put us through when we try calling her. She has been abandoned, has no desire to leave her room, has no appetite, isn't sleeping, and wonders why she can't have friends visit, and why she can't go on outings anymore. How can this happen? Isn't this elder abuse ? We are so angry and very sad for her and we don't know what we can do. She is suffering as well as her kitten.
You say your friend was recently moved to an AL and that she has dementia but remembers you and her other friends. Maybe you could speak to the administration of the AL and see if they will give you any answers on why no one is allowed to see your friend anymore.
It does sound like a kind of elder abuse to me. Is the POA heir to her estate too? The cutting her off from her friends and life sure sounds to me like the POA wants to hurry things along if you get my meaning.
If you're friendly with any of the staff at the AL your friend is in, try to make contact with one on the down-low and find out what's going on with her. Try reaching out to her POA though.
The responsibility of the POA is a financial one. The only way that friends and family should be kept away is if problems are caused by their visits. As in the person who visits does more harm than good. If keeping friends away is causing a decline, then that is causing harm by the POA. And I would call that abuse.
If you get no where with anyone, call Adult Protection Services and ask if anything can be done. This woman has rights as a resident of the AL. Its now her home, not a prison.
Power of attorney is a serious responsibility, and your friend's POA has the disadvantage of not being nearby to monitor their charge. If you and this person can talk and establish acceptable boundaries, perhaps things can be worked out.
When I placed my father in an MC, they didn't want any visitors for 20 days. I negotiated there would not be a "no visitor" time period at any point for any reason. My father had vascular dementia, but he still had enough memory to be aware of visits and was concerned he was being "shut away". My estranged brother was allowed to spend long hours with him (as long as brother behaved and didn't upset Dad). Because Dad was upset with me placing him in the facility, I often viewed video footage of Dad to check on him and left a gift (some candy or fruit, magazines, and newspapers he liked) in the early days. Dad eventually came to like the MC (he got a lot of attention) and enjoyed chewing me out during our weekly visits.
I encourage you to discuss the situation with the AL administrator to determine if the facility views the visits as detrimental or whether the POA is restricting visits - maybe because he doesn't know you? If its the POA, contact him and discuss your visits in a non-attacking manner. If you cannot be sure you can control your emotions during the discussion, consider finding someone who is not as emotionally involved to handle the call.