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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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I think at this point your sister can stop you. If Mom is in Memory care then her Dementia is to the point she can't be left on her own. You are taking what a Dementia person is saying verbatim. Your sister could be visiting everyday and your Mom has forgotten. My Aunt said to her ALZ sister "Peggy was here to visit". Her sister said "No ". Really, cause my Aunt passed Peggy (my Mom) as she was coming into the facility, Her sister (my other Aunt) forgot in those few minutes.
So my answer is yes, her POA is now in effect. The facility should not be handing Mom over to you either without talking to the POA. If you insist, the police could be called in. You really have no legal standing here.
Your profile says you have stage 4 cancer. How do you think you can care for a Dementia patient? I don't think you realize the care involved.
If she has Medicaid it will need to be applied for in TX & this could take some time as you will have to apply and there are residency factors in that you will need to prove your mother is a Texas resident.
It’s difficult but think with your head not your heart.
I also think your sister can stop you as she has POA, or at least throw a monkey wrench into the situation & take legal action to get guardianship over your mother. Filing for & obtaining guardianship takes time and lots of money. Do you have the financial resources to pay for an attorney to represent you?
Shane, her post of the 22 said she was leaving that day to get Mom. Not sure if she even read the last few posts. Would love to know what happened. Hopefully the facility didn't release Mom. At my Moms facility, I had to list the people who could take her out.
Dontknow, I agree with Ahmijoy and Tothill's posts, do NOT move your Mom from memory care. Your Mom is in memory care for a very good reason, and the reason is that is now takes a village to take care of her. Will you have enough people to help you take care of your Mom?
If your Mom is on Medicaid [which is different than Medicare], Medicaid stops at the State line. Thus, once your Mom passes over the MN State line, she is no longer on Medicaid. Once in Texas, your Mom will need to start the Medicaid applying process all over again, which could take awhile.
My mom moved in with my sister, who has no medical training. She said my mom use to yell at her, her kids and her husband, so she couldn't deal with her. I am a CNA, I have worked on Alzheimer units and lived with an Alzheimer's patient for 5 years until she passed away. I know what is involved in caring for someone with very early, early dementia.
My mother, prior to being placed in a psych ward, then memory care, she moved from my sisters home, to her own apartment. She would catch the bus to go shopping, go to the movies etc. Not once did she not pay rent and bills. This was just 6 months ago.
I am now done with my health issues. And feel I can care for her, if needed.
I'm pretty sure she is on Medicaid after her POA got done with the finances, if you know what I mean. Last I know she was on Medicare, when she lived with me in another state.
Mom went back to MN when I moved to TX, and now has been placed, first in a psych ward and now memory care against her own will. When I talk to my mother, she says "can't I revoke, the POA". "Can they really hold me here, against my will". Would a full blown dementia patient be able to communicate that to me?
I thought about being charged for kidnapping my own mother. When I talk to her and she says "come get me", is that kidnapping?
I believe if I can get to her early enough I can slow some of the dementia down as I know what she does and does not like. I want to get her while she still can talk.
Dontknow, I sincerely hope you don’t find yourself in serious trouble for taking your mom out of her facility. I’m wondering if you could be charged with kidnapping. The facility could be in trouble for letting you remove your mom without the permission of the POA.
Mom has dementia and may not even remember if your sister has been there or not.
I hope it works out for you but my gut feeling is that you’re biting off way more than you can chew.
If your sister has a Healthcare POA, she would need to prove that your home is not safe for your mom to live in. As an example, if Mom has mobility issues, your sister could say you have too many steps and mom couldn’t get around safely in your home. She could say you need to make your home handicap accessible; install handicap bars in the bathroom for instance. If Mom takes off, You’d have to install alarms and ,locks on windows and doors. If Mom needs Durable medical equipment as prescribed by her doctor, you need to provide it. You’d also have to prove you are able to meet her needs. If she needs 24/7 care, you’d need to provide it or arrange for in-home health aides to come in to help.
Mom’s care is your sister’s #1 concern and as POA, it’s her duty to make sure Mom is well-cared for and has all she needs. If she allows you to move Mom in and it’s proven that you aren’t taking care of her properly (not saying this would happen—just a “what if”) your sister could be in big trouble if someone reports it.
Caring for someone is a big responsibility that takes lots of preparation. It shouldn’t be a bone of contention between family members. Sister is just looking out for Mom.
Thanks for your answer. Just want to move mom in with me. She says my sister has forgot about her and doesn't visit. I live in TX they live in MN. Mom is in memory care center. Driving to MN today to get her.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
So my answer is yes, her POA is now in effect. The facility should not be handing Mom over to you either without talking to the POA. If you insist, the police could be called in. You really have no legal standing here.
Your profile says you have stage 4 cancer. How do you think you can care for a Dementia patient? I don't think you realize the care involved.
If she has Medicaid it will need to be applied for in TX & this could take some time as you will have to apply and there are residency factors in that you will need to prove your mother is a Texas resident.
It’s difficult but think with your head not your heart.
I also think your sister can stop you as she has POA, or at least throw a monkey wrench into the situation & take legal action to get guardianship over your mother. Filing for & obtaining guardianship takes time and lots of money. Do you have the financial resources to pay for an attorney to represent you?
How are you going to provide that?
How is her care being paid for? You could jeopardize future care coverage.
If you do not have the POA’s permission to take Mum to your house out of state you could face kidnapping charges.
If your Mom is on Medicaid [which is different than Medicare], Medicaid stops at the State line. Thus, once your Mom passes over the MN State line, she is no longer on Medicaid. Once in Texas, your Mom will need to start the Medicaid applying process all over again, which could take awhile.
Please reconsider.
My mother, prior to being placed in a psych ward, then memory care, she moved from my sisters home, to her own apartment. She would catch the bus to go shopping, go to the movies etc. Not once did she not pay rent and bills. This was just 6 months ago.
I am now done with my health issues. And feel I can care for her, if needed.
I'm pretty sure she is on Medicaid after her POA got done with the finances, if you know what I mean. Last I know she was on Medicare, when she lived with me in another state.
Mom went back to MN when I moved to TX, and now has been placed, first in a psych ward and now memory care against her own will. When I talk to my mother, she says "can't I revoke, the POA". "Can they really hold me here, against my will". Would a full blown dementia patient be able to communicate that to me?
I thought about being charged for kidnapping my own mother. When I talk to her and she says "come get me", is that kidnapping?
I believe if I can get to her early enough I can slow some of the dementia down as I know what she does and does not like. I want to get her while she still can talk.
Mom has dementia and may not even remember if your sister has been there or not.
I hope it works out for you but my gut feeling is that you’re biting off way more than you can chew.
Mom’s care is your sister’s #1 concern and as POA, it’s her duty to make sure Mom is well-cared for and has all she needs. If she allows you to move Mom in and it’s proven that you aren’t taking care of her properly (not saying this would happen—just a “what if”) your sister could be in big trouble if someone reports it.
Caring for someone is a big responsibility that takes lots of preparation. It shouldn’t be a bone of contention between family members. Sister is just looking out for Mom.