I also have a 9 year son who is autistic. I am tired of giving my parents $2000.00 every month. They would not have a problem if my dad did not have so many credit cards. We give them $1000. per month to help out with expenses. We pay his credit cards to the tune of $1000. We pay his cell phone $50.00 We paid of one of his credit card at the tune of $10,000 and now he has charged it back up to $12000. Now he wants my mom out the house and expects me to somehow achieve this. She only gets $600.00 a month. He gets $1400.00 net from social security and their house is paid for. He is also diagnosed with Narcisstic personality disorder. Did I also mention I have two college age daughters. We just can't continue to do nothing for our own retirement. I don't want to do this to my family. I live in Texas and I just want to say ....No more, and walk away. But I love my mom, she is not the problem...He is demanding, abusive, and a horrible liar. Help???
the appearance of being well off. Me and mine, well we just want work, pay our bills, and hopefully be liked for who we are, not what we have. My mother has always been conscious of money also. She worked all of her life, and paid a lot of the bills, including our house payments when I was growing up. I remember having to move into a hotel and live them while my mother worked as manager of it because he had screwed up in some get rich quick scheme. We were being evicted from the apartment and then my mom got this job so we would have a place to live. He has done this all his life. I think part of the problem is Mom and I have always been there to bail him out. I bailed him out when he almost lost his business, and then worked 60 hours a week for $500. a month. This was in the early 1990's. How stupid was I??? He is never going to change. Maybe this is a addiction to power. He feels powerful and in control when he spends???Who knows???? Thanks for the info. I do appreciate it. Some friends were worried about the same things you said.
I could also ask why your mother has chosen to stay with this narcisstic person all these years. Maybe getting her out of the house is exactly the solution. Get her set up in subsitdized housing. Or help her file for divorce and demand alimony. Or let your parents work out their own marital problems.
But first and foremost, take care of your own children. Take care of your future with your husband. Say "No more" and walk away.