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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I acknowledge and authorize
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
We need more information before we could offer advice. Who are the “people” who are blaming you? What are they saying you did wrong? Can you add a little more information to your post?
Walk away when they start making verbal accusations. Hang up the phone. File the texts and emails away without reading them. Pointless discussions about the past don’t solve anything. It might help them to air their complaints, but if it doesn’t help you, don’t participate. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations that require us to make difficult decisions. All we can do is do the best we can. I’ve suffered this way for the past few years. I feel like I have been beat up emotionally and take advantage of financially. I’ve done the best I can. I’ve sought consel from professionals and knowledgeable others, but I didn’t choose to listen to young adults who think they know it all. Now I enjoy not being in their company. Some things are not up for discussion. Some people aren’t fit for social interaction. One authority says I’ve experienced Elder Abuse from these yahoos going off about what I’m doing wrong - as I struggle. Tell them you don’t want to hear it and keep your car parked so you can hit the street. Sometimes a slow drive through the country is the best thing.
Without knowing all or any details all I can say is... Did you follow what his wishes were or are? Did you do the best that you could under the circumstances? If you had to do it all over again given the same circumstances and without the benefit of 20/20 hindsight would you have made the same decisions? Would you have wanted the same decisions made for you in the same circumstances? If you would not have changed anything then you did the best you could given that you are human. I do not know who the "people" are but if your brother trusted YOU and not them then rest easy. Forget what "people" say. We are always so worried about what others think that we forget to trust ourselves. Your brother trusted you now you need to trust in yourself.
Belong to organization, that helps disabled person, my brother is Intellectual disabled age 72, I'm 66, I was diagnosed with Borderline Intellectual Functioning, have been taking care of his needs we have been living together 2003. I'm physical disabled too. These people want to take the health directive away from me for them to decide was best for him. I'm also his Representative Payee, Social Security OK for me to take care of his money, these people want to take that away from me, one thing is Social Security told me to have my name on his accounts. What I did wrong, not letting doctors give him strong meds when he was in the hospital for UTI, complaining his knees, ankle and back pain. I hope this helps, sorry it's long.
Butterfly, sounds like you've been doing your best for your brother. He is lucky to have you!
Is there a social worker or another person like that you could talk to about this, someone not from the organization that is wanting to change your brother's health directive?
I don't have social worker, also searching for one too. I have been going therapist, mention many things to her, my first priority is to find assisted living for myself, before they take my brother out of the unit. I don't know what to do about health directive, my decision was being a sister, not using health directive. The ER doctor wanted to give my brother high dose of morphine for his pain on his knees, low back and ankle, received all the papers when he checked out from the hospital 5 mg of morphine, also anxiety meds.
This lady who called me on the phone, told If I tell anyone what she said to me, and it goes to the wrong persons. She'll tell a health corporation lies about me, that I have mental problems, that I'm the wrong person to be in charge of my brother. Since February, I told his counselor, that my brother has been in bed, not being mobile to walk around, they forgot about that, If he didn't have a health problems, I'm the one called the ambulance, for him to go to the hospital, it's like the whole county knows about me, that's what she said! When she called me, I have caption call phone, I wrote what she said to me. I have a lawyer, called he said he wants to get in touch with Adult Protected Services, too many lies, I do feed my brother, he's undernourished and fragile, very picky eater, I'm also in fault because he's sick, going to get IHHS, also have home health.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Sometimes we find ourselves in situations that require us to make difficult decisions. All we can do is do the best we can.
I’ve suffered this way for the past few years. I feel like I have been beat up emotionally and take advantage of financially. I’ve done the best I can. I’ve sought consel from professionals and knowledgeable others, but I didn’t choose to listen to young adults who think they know it all. Now I enjoy not being in their company.
Some things are not up for discussion. Some people aren’t fit for social interaction.
One authority says I’ve experienced Elder Abuse from these yahoos going off about what I’m doing wrong - as I struggle.
Tell them you don’t want to hear it and keep your car parked so you can hit the street. Sometimes a slow drive through the country is the best thing.
Did you follow what his wishes were or are?
Did you do the best that you could under the circumstances?
If you had to do it all over again given the same circumstances and without the benefit of 20/20 hindsight would you have made the same decisions?
Would you have wanted the same decisions made for you in the same circumstances?
If you would not have changed anything then you did the best you could given that you are human.
I do not know who the "people" are but if your brother trusted YOU and not them then rest easy. Forget what "people" say. We are always so worried about what others think that we forget to trust ourselves. Your brother trusted you now you need to trust in yourself.
Is there a social worker or another person like that you could talk to about this, someone not from the organization that is wanting to change your brother's health directive?
The ER doctor wanted to give my brother high dose of morphine for his pain on his knees, low back and ankle, received all the papers when he checked out from the hospital 5 mg of morphine, also anxiety meds.