Been an “all in caregiver” to my mother who is cognitively declining for 10 years now. She completely turned against me. What are my options?

My mother who had routine cataract eye surgery, a better nine years ago, tragically lost her eyesight. I was, for a lack of better terms, butchered.
Since that time, she has lost her independence such as driving, walking safely, cooking, etc. She has become depressed and dependent. My Mom is 80 years old. I am the youngest of three. My oldest sister who was good for MAYBE three calls on the phone a year (who lived 14 minutes away from my parents). The Middle sibling, who loved Heroin more than raising her sons, left and ran off with a crumb bum 12 years ago. Popping in and out, door knocking on the front door of my parents, calling at 4 am in the morning in her psychosis, showing up in unannounced, etc. This has taken a toll on both my parents. I was (for 14 years) my mother “gate keeper“ playing the role to my mother as husband, care giver, therapist, taxi driver, life coach, hair dresser, mentor. I have been conditioned to be that person long time ago when I was a very small girl. Since my mother’s lost eyesight (left eye) she has grown more dependent. More insecure. My kids went to the neighboring school so my parents’ home has always been “home base“ for every national holiday, every weekend and just about every day was at my parents.

My mom would come to my house for sleepovers, “coffee talk “, we would fold clothes, etc. I would make her breakfast, lunch, and dinner. After a day or two sometimes three, she would make her way back home. After dropping her off we would still be on the phone at least two to three more times.

Yes co - dependency at its best! My mother has had two eventful falls in one years’ time. Which required surgeries, hospital stays, then rehab at home with me renting equipment (her cost), taking a leave from work, and sleeping at her home away from my husband to nurse her back. I also organized PT, OT, grooming, bathing, food prep, shopping, and cleanup.

Malingering with a long 7-year lawsuit due to the malpractice done to her eye and loss of vision. That 7 years required being the middleman between mom, Drs and the attorneys’ emails communications and meetings when needed. Then translating this to my mother all that it in detailed. This went on for 7 years. As of result I had to Step away from my position at a school i worked for beings the four failed corneal transplants and other surgical procedures and specialist appointments I needed to be present for and to also transport for. By the way, my father is living AND lives in the home with mom. He has always taken a back seat. All to open the “check book “when needed for her. That’s it - I am a mother of two children. A wife. And now running a small practice of my own.

may present over this past 14 months. The “black sheep“ the daughter who has abused drugs , abandoned her teenaged children along her self-involved stupor, has groomed her way back into my mother’s home . In the past 12 months upon the passing of my mother in law, my mother further cognitively declining has now been given the cool aid that her poor drug addicted - master manipulating lost daughter was being kept, bullied , pumped and forced to do drive ( LIES)

she has verbally assaulted me attempted physical assaulted me. Was getting high and carrying on the first six months of her invited stay at my parents, had the local PR take her out of the home. We cleaned house. Then 3 1/2 weeks later, faked an injury and got herself back into the home. Took down every picture of my family in the home. Changed the outgoing voicemail to her voice in the home. Hovers over my mom like a wild dog protecting its newborn baby from a predator. Lies. She has isolated and intimidated both my parents to the point my mother has stopped calling me and will not go out in the car with me. She has handed over all her care to this beast

My mother turned against me. I am their POA. Help! My heart is gutted.