I feel useless. Eyes glazed. She is on hospice the nurse says give her the meds it will give her comfort but Auntie will not cooporate spits like a machine gun anything I put in her mouth. I give a bite then duck down ...I have mixed with applesauce that's the closest I get to getting anything in her. She bites down on the spoon then starts blowing it everywhere. Chocolate pudding was the worst! Looks like poop everywhere! lol!!
I know we are nearing the end of her journey. I knew the day she refused food but I just have so many questions and I've been through this before ...but still I am afraid. I really am afraid never felt this scared before, my dad had my mom in the NH the residents had their family now I am the only one. My family is here but Auntie never bonded with anybody in the family she refused to say anyones name except mine and my grandchild. What can I say to get Auntie to take her meds? What can l say to comfort her? Do I stay by her side all the time? I play her favorite music. ANY ideas HOW to get her medicines in her?? SHE WONT TAKE NOTHING KEEPS SPITTING ....if ANYBODY has any ideas PLEASE SEND ADVICE Thank you all
Do you have liquid morphine that you can give with an eye dropper in the side of her mouth?
((((((Hugs))))))
only thing I can get her to take I think its the consistency like liquid but still thick .I will stay on the hospice people I already text the nurse about the pain and her spitting out meds TY for encouragement !!
I'm sorry that your aunt is struggling and in pain; but it may be that battling with her is more distressing *to* *her* than leaving it and trying again later. How aware is she? If possible, offer her food, drink and medication and let her choose. Don't try to force anything.
I don't think anyone can judge better than you whether it's best to sit by her or to let her have privacy; but certainly if you need a break then take it, and ask a family member to listen in - you can use a baby monitor for this - and call you if she needs help.
You are a brave and strong person to stand by your aunt through this. I hope your family can support you even if they're not close to her.
I would definitely stay on your Hospice Nurses tail about getting educated about how to deal with all the issues that come up, as there are many and often. I know that there are other medications administration options, such as the patch or rectal suppository, and perhaps the pain patch might be best for your situation, but it sounds like you need to get this worked out ASAP for everyone's sake.
Lastly I would like to say that we had the most amazing experience with our Hospice provider, establishing good communication is essential and keeping good records saved my bacon as I was so busy and so tired that it was easy to forget things, I also kept a list of questions so I wouldn't forget to ask them.
You are doing great, this is such a difficult job and people don't realize just how hard it is on the Caregiver. You are an Angel for taking this on. I hope you soon get your medicine issues solved and that your Auntie's end of life journey is swift and peaceful for the both of you. Take Care!
You have been so selfless in caring for your aunt. I agree that it would be helpful to contact hospice and tell them more help is needed. Take care, many hugs!
Medication can also also be provided by IV pump if she can’t/ won’t take them orally now. The hospice staff or doctor should be able to advise if your aunt has reached a point where either a nutrient drink or stopping all bar water is appropriate for her. The same re IV pump for her medication.
I provided their favourite music and freesias, due to their aroma, but it depends whether your aunt likes them. Whether responsive or not, I’d chat to them normally about events past and present. Though that might be slightly harder if your aunt didn’t bond with family.
if you need a break, being human the answer is yes, put some music on for your aunt, and take one, or get another family member to sit in with her whilst you do.
Take care of yourself too, and remember to be kind to yourself at this difficult time.
Doctor only sent them for the last 2 days out of the week we knew mum was dying but they were very helpful all the same.
Mum bit Dad when he tried to remove her dentures- first reaction we had! At first she would suck the sponges but later we just would wipe around the inside of her mouth regularly.
Think the reaction is just, that a reaction to suddenly suddenly being disturbed with food or liquid. Not to be taken personally even though it’s a bit of a shock when they do. Partly as you can’t believe they still have the energy to react!
Hope you are looking after yourself too - tend to forget whilst focus is on a LO at that stage.
Your little tiny aunt spitting like a machine gun made me laugh. You are doing an awesome thing for her. Laughter doeth good like a medicine. I am happy for you that you can see the humor it her spitfire ways, that alone cracks me up. Spitfire apple sauce.
I saw someone biking yesterday, and he had an orange and white outfit on. All I could think of was creamcicals. However you spell it... the frozen orange pop covering the ice cream on a stick ... thing.... :)
That is all I can think about. Going to store tomorrow to buy some for my aunt and me....
never used the pliers ..guess I wont be able to do the mouth swave thing unless she's kinda asleep.....I mean shes so weak I could not believe the strength she had to use to bite this thing so hard...SPITFIRE FIGHTING UNTIL the bitter end!!
Has your family told your Aunt that it is ok for her to die now? As well is there a significant date coming up? My step dad made it to 3 days past his birthday. My grandmother died shortly after midnight on her birthday. A friend's sister lived with 3 weeks until her son could be found and brought to see her in the hospital. During that time she had no food or water or other hydration.
It must be so painful for you to watch her dying process.