At what stage is dementia or Alzheimer’s considered a risk? Mom lives alone and is totally disabled. First signs appeared 3 years ago.
My 77 year old mother who lost her husband last summer and now lives alone and is totally disabled. She lays in a hospital bed in her living room 24/7 uses Purewick system in her bed. She does NOT leave the bed. My brother who is a huge drug abuser of heroin and fentanyl takes care of her only as he violently threatens me and says not to enter the house and changes the lock frequently. He has access to her credit cards and spends over 5000 a month on the drugs. APS is involved has a case on my mom but because the APS counselor sees my mother is fit because my mom was a bookkeeper for 45 years at the same company. He sees her balance sheet, ledgers and thinks she’s capable of taking care of herself that way, but he doesn’t see the other side of her how she foolishly lets my brother spend whatever he wants on drugs, and my brother refuses to get her medical help because it might cost too much
My question right now is at what stage of dementia or Alzheimer’s does the law consider a person in capable of living alone in a house?
My other brother and I have called the police several times they can’t do anything about it APS, like I said is fooled by her profession she had many years and doesn’t see the other parts of her life making really bad decisions we don’t know what to do!!
If we took it to court to say, she’s incapable of making good decisions, and our brother is incapable of being in charge of his life let alone her life will this take months and months dragged out through court or how does this work?
He’s gonna drain every account she has and there’s nothing we can do. It’s sad because she could be getting good, proper medical care at home if she only would let us help and cut off the drug abusing brother!
Does anyone know how long we’d have to spend in court to resolve this madness?
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You have done what you are able. You have reported this as an elder at risk of financial fraud. APS has been there and have considered your Mom NOT TO BE LEGALLY INCOMPETENT. You say they have a open case? I would allow them to continue their investigation. I would beg them to do followup visits, telling them you are barred from entry to the home.
Unless I missed it your brother is not your Mom's POA? She apparently has a bookkeeper and ledgers to prove how her finances are handled? If she convinced APS of that it is likely they did not find fraud. It would be commonplace for her to do shared living expenses with a son providing care. Do you know if they have done a legal "care contract"?
As to her level of competency this is the perview of TWO MDs, usually one being neuro-psyc, to ascertain. Do you know if she has been judged incompetent by two MDs? Do you know who the POA is?
There are just so many unknowns in your case, I fear. And I am uncertain how you could ever find out short of a long and costly court battle in which end result may be the state assuming guardianship of your Mom.
You are free certainly to consult with an attorney. I would be careful about going for guardianship. Let him/her know up front your assets and how much you can afford for any court actions. You will be responsible to PROVE every allegation you make, and to prove that your mother is incompetent, and your brother a criminal. That's a heavy burden of proof. With much investigation needed.
To my mind it is important now to have access to be certain your mom is safely cared for. Sadly that may mean forming a relationship with a brother you "hate" in order to get feet on the ground in that home. Otherwise you are left with understanding you have done what you can OR to cough up a ton of money for a court case you may not win.
I am sorry. Family dissension is not the way any elder wants to pass. It leaves them utterly helpless with their children warring over their still living body. This is a great tragedy.
Your brother should not be the one to care for her.
Was he appointed POA for finances or heath? Or did he just assume this role?
There is a good possibility that you or your sober brother may have to file for Guardianship. There may be a good indication that with your brothers addiction this might get pushed through and get to court pretty soon as I would consider this a risky situation.
Talk to an Elder Care Attorney and turn over any info that you have from APS the attorney can determine if this would be a situation where your mother may be at risk.