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My mother is completely bedridden and lives with my nephew and his family. His wife is her primary caregiver and does a great job but needs a break. I am in my 60s and physically unable to move and change her. Our family is small now and there's no one else. Every place I look for respite care requires a certain number of hours per week for an extended period of time. We're just looking for someone who can come and help for a week here and there. Any suggestions on who to contact?

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The agencies I've looked at (just now) in Tampa seem to say that they accommodate vacation breaks of a week or two - are the people you contact saying that they don't offer the service at all, or that they can't currently provide the staff?
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If you want inpatient respite care that is likely the way to go, and you should contact elder care facilities in your are with the information on the disabilities of the elder to see about cost. The cost will be exorbitant. I may be time for the family to discuss in placement/in facility care. This is sounding like a lot to take on in life. Otherwise it is hiring someone, and the cost may be prohibitive. I sure wish you good luck.
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TLH026 Mar 2023
Thank you AlvaDeer - right now my mother's income pays the rent for my nephew's family and his wife wants to stay home with their toddler anyway so that situation is okay. We cannot afford to place her in a facility as her income would only cover about half of what that costs. We looked into all of the options before coming up with this solution. So for now, we're just looking for occasional home respite care, not anything on a permanent basis.
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Is mom eligible for Hospice?
One of the benefits of Hospice is that Medicare/Medicaid and most insurance will cover almost a week of Respite care.
Another benefit of Hospice...you can request a Volunteer that could come for up to 4 hours. They can not do "hands on" care though. And it could be scheduled as a routine or as needed.
If you hire privately it is easier to get someone to work the specific hours that you want rather than going through an agency.
The 2 best caregivers I hired I got through the Local Community College. They had just completed their CNA certification and were waiting for the next semester to begin to continue Nursing School.
Sites like Care.com are also allowing you to hire for the days and hours you want.
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@Grandma1954 We actually had hospice care for about 6 months but now they won't recertify her. The provided a nurse that came every 2 weeks to check her vitals, an aide that came twice a week to bathe her, a social worker and a chaplain, which was great but apparently they can't figure out a diagnosis for Medicare to keep paying them even though she's practically immobile, completely incontinent, and has dementia. Thank you for your suggestions!
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graygrammie Mar 2023
Can you ask her doctor to recommend hospice care again? You said they won't recertify her but if her doctor refers her to hospice again, that might get her back in their system.

It really seems to me that your mom is at a place of needing more than home care. It is so kind of your nephew and his wife to do this, it must be overwhelming at times with a toddler in the house as well. It is a shame that they are financially dependent on your mom's money. I know you looked into other options but I wonder if them receiving your mom's moeny might not come back on them at some point down the road.
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Some assisted living facilities offer temporary stays for families who go on vacation. Call some in your area.

Good luck in finding a place. Enjoy your vacation!
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@freqflyer We don't need someone to stay overnight. There are other responsible young adults at the house at night in case of an emergency (they all work or are in school during the day) and she usually sleeps through the night. I only live 5-10 minutes away and can be there quickly if necessary. What we need is to find someone who can come over to change her, clean her up, and feed her during the day so her permanent caregiver can have a break. So probably one 8-hour shift for 5 days would work. Getting her to a facility is a whole other project. We had to use a private ambulance service to move her from her apartment to the house. I appreciate your input.
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Why not thinking of placing her in facility? Her needs will only increase. Why only short term respite? I read nephew’s & wife have toddler! That’s her first responsibility. Having an elderly person to also take care of is way too much.
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I know how you feel. I am caring for my husband, same age as I, who has dementia and have been for at least 4 years plus. My brother needs help now so he's living with us as well. I pay a nice younger man for 5 hours a day, 5 days a week, no weekends, to assist my husband. It's costly, but I am keeping my husband home. I see how the patients are treated in rehabs and nursing homes and I'm not happy with that. The cost of an aide varies and where we live it's extremely high, Maybe you can find these aides through hospital aides, nursing students, neighbors who may know someone who knows someone, church offices, synagogues, school nurses and so on. Try everything.
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There is not much "here and there" help you can hire. Most agencies require a longer term arrangement. You might find an independent cate taker, but you would be on your own for background checks. Some nursing homes, rehab facilities and senior living facilities offer short-term "respite stays.". You will pay out-of-pocket, but it might be worth a try if you need time off badly enough.
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I hired people off of craigslist and had a care giving company on back-up. I understood it was a minimum of a four hour shift whenever I called the company. It is expensive, but they were my back up.

We needed a 24/7 care for my Mr. and Mrs.. Both had dementia, one had horrible arthritis and overweight, the other also had Parkinson’s.
the day was broken up into 3 to 4 shifts - depending on what the caregivers wanted to do. I got input from them & switched it up once in a while to break the monotony. So we had a staff of 6 including myself, and I was the house manager. ok, hiring. I was very careful!

I did the ad and gave no personal information. I made them use the craigslist email to introduce themselves to me. those who did not reply professionally weren’t even considered. I preferred people who sent a resume but I found a lot of them would prefer to have a first meeting and give it to me there so I allowed that. Next, I met with them at a local fast food restaurant near the home for the first interview. There I expected to see the résumé and I gave them more information about the job, the who, what, why, where, how, & when kind of things. I went over training, pay & increases and overtime for certain holidays. If it went well I would set up an introductory meeting with my Mr. and Mrs. gave them a tour of the house, go over where things etc. This was approximately two hours. Then they spent the next two hours doing things here and there and getting to know my couple.
if we were good with each other then they were hired.
The pay those first four hours was $10. (This was 7-8 yrs ago). Afterwards They immediately started making $13 an hour for the first two weeks, then $14 for a month, and then top out at $15.
I felt the incentive helped them stay longer than a couple of days, if you know what I mean and it helped me save a little money while I was still feeling them out as a good fit for the house. Holidays: because I wanted some time off for myself, I offered time and a half for Christmas Eve Christmas Day New Year’s Eve Thanksgiving eve Thanksgiving day and Fourth of July and it worked.

i did things for the staff and to be truthful I was not the easiest person to work with. and nanny cams are a must! I like to think two people of the CGs went on to be house managers because of the example I set, and in the last 1&1/2 yrs all the ladies hired stayed until my couple had to go into a facility because of financial reasons. There was no staff turnover. I like thinking that I did something right.

as a quick fix I would like to suggest this. Hire somebody to come in even if she doesn’t go anywhere for a few hours. Sometimes just having the relief that you don’t have to be “on” 24/7, & you’re there in case of something, can be very stress relieving. God bless!
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