Now that I can see my mom in MC, I’m realizing that after the super early meal at 4pm, everyone goes to their apartment to be all alone ALL night. During the day, there’s clearly more staff and activities. I try to spend time with my mom at least 3 evenings during the week. It just makes me sad thinking this whole time she has just sat all alone in her apartment during lockdown. Is this normal for MC facilities to have less staff during evenings? Do other MC facilities have evening activities or just as many staff as they do during the day? I understand most are tired due to the day’s activities. However, many are sundowning after supper and are in their rooms all alone with their crazy thoughts.
Sadly, where my mom is, there is nothing after dinner. There a a few chairs in the common living room and a big tv, but it is never turned on. I bought some DVDs , that I know many of the residents enjoy, but they disappeared and were never played. I was told that there is ALWAYS someone at the nurses station but it is absolutely not so. Halls is a ghost town. There is less staff in the evening and they are all busy in the residents appartements. I often wondered alone with my mom , sometimes calling out hello hello because I needed something but got no answer. If it had been urgent I could have phoned the nurse and she would have responded from where she was. I favor the approach to respect each resident habits, and some do like to rest by themselves in their room ou appartement,. But for those who are still more active and want to socialise, it breaks my heart to see them wondering alone, or ending up all alone in their appartemetn loooking at the walls. Some can't remember how to turn on their tv. I say "built it and they will come", if the tv was on in the common room, with nice music or something the residents enjoy, they would benefit from it. I talked many many times to the head nurse but ...
I sometimes wonder about the expression "assisted LIVING" , maybe "medical care facility" or "day living/evening existing" would be a better term for some facilities.
As for the explanation/excuse based on " there is less staff", well...how about phrasing it, " we choose to not provide staff at night for this ".
I wonder what the owners of these facilities do after dinner...
Maya Angelou says, "I did then what I knew how to do, now that I know better, I do better". Moving my mom now is not justified and would be awful for her ( day care is ok), but next time I would ask the questions differently. I heard someone saying to ask " what EXACTLY is the daily routine, at night, on week-ends, on Holidays" and not " are there activities" , the answer to that last phrasing not meaning much if the answer is "of course, we have bingo, singing all kind of different things" ( not mentioning that it is twice a week for 30 min...).
So, maybe these facilities are trying to maximize sunlight for the residents, so that they're tired and want to go to sleep before the sun goes down.
Horribly sad for all the Seniors to have no contact with lived ones for over a year because they totally didn't get much human contact except for necessities.
I personally think it was wrong and made it worse on them that they will never get over.
People aren't made to be alone.
Prayers
Also, most elderly people have "wound down" by supper time and don't have the energy to attend activities in the evening.
If a person is sundowning, their confusion would make it appropriate for them to attend a group activity, such as Bingo, because they could not follow the instructions or behave socially. It would not make them "less confused," since the confusion is biologically based.
All facilities, including hospitals, have a lot less going on during the evenings, compared to days.
I know of an assisted living facility that has a guest room for out of town visitors.
Some have a relaxed ‘open door’ policy but ask that visitors are courteous of other residents, while some have
visiting hours end at 8:00.
There isn’t one set of rules. It varies.
Dementia does take a toll on a person's energy and some might be ready to sleep after supper, but they'll probably be up at 1 AM. Just like you and me, the wake sleep cycle for MC residents is different for each. In fact, when the disease progresses, the circadian clock no longer functions as it once did. The person can't differentiate day from night. At times, my wife was awake for 24 straight hours. She might wake up at 2 AM, get dressed and want to get the day started. Facilities that dictate times to sleep and times to awaken aren't doing the residents any favors. Some residents may voluntarily go to their rooms and hit the sack. Others may be awake long after dinner and just wander around or sit on a couch in the common area, or even fall asleep there. I don't know of a facility that offers activities in the evening, but that's no excuse to put everyone to bed early. What many care facilities lack is person centered care. Knowing each resident and catering to each's lifestyle as much as possible.