Mom's behaviors continue to increase in being more challenging. I need to keep my BP down after an aortic dissection. I am learning to be less reactive when her behavior agitates me. Made worse by her beloved husband whose ignorance is beyond maddening. I.e. we COULD easily wrap some light weight chain around a couple knobs on doors to our kitchen (2 louvered ones) attach a small (ie luggage) lock and keep her locked out so she couldn't access the fridge which is like her entertainment system. He refuses. A toddler proof locked was defeated when she was determined and put all her strength into it. My plan was that that lock would work and we got a mini fridge for the family room she could access where healthy food and snacks would be for her to find. She has not used that, and it has become a "secret" (but really not) hiding spot where dad has stashed his collection of salad dressings, me a couple bottles of juice I am afraid to open because they may leak if on their sides. She has taken to dumping out things in the big fridge...or possibly consuming them. Condiments, dressings, ketchup, mustard, chocolate syrup etc. She has dumped out my carafe of freshly brewed iced tea 3 times in one week. Last week I suspected something was going on with the bbq sauce. So I have taken to marking with a line on the label what I can. One day the level of product was HIGHER. An equally scary thought. Last week I caught her sticking her dirty fingers into a jar of their jam, to eat....after sucking on her fingers, back in the jar again. Yesterday she was gnawing on celery, unwashed. We cannot watch her 24/7 and the behavior is not so horrendous (and no wandering or bathroom issues) I cannot justify placement, but her refusal to listen and obey others to help maintain boundaries and sanity is a challenge. I do have one toddler lock she has not figured out on the fruit bin in the fridge. So this is my locked safe spot. How have others coped with this issue and/or what type of lock have you used? PS....if she is not challenge enough, my father uses things up he has not purchased so there is none for Me.
Sometimes, you need to tell a client that you’ve done literally EVERY SINGLE LOVING GENEROUS THING that you can, and that it’s time to consider sharing the care of your cherished LOs with trained professionals who can allow you to become once again the child who loves them, but cannot supervise and care for them 24/7.
You are important, and YOU deserve THE BEST CARE that YOU can GIVE YOURSELF.
A refrigerator lock is SO MINOR, but definitely SO MAJOR. And you know of course that there are all the other SO, BUT NOT SO, but vexing issues that fill your day when trying to do it all for mom and dad.
The last three words of your post brought tears to my eyes, which doesn’t happen here too often. Wait, I’m actually seeing 5 words- “........there is none for ME”.
But you know, you’re not as well right now as you might have been when you took this overwhelming labor-of-love assignment on. And every day, however much you love them, the unexpected idiosyncratic situations are a little more frustrating, a little more wearying.
So starting right now, PLEASE be sure that there’s a balance point, not just for the refrigerators of your life, but for the whole thing. Draw an arbitrary line in the sand, then honor it. Plan for that day in the future when it dawns on you that there HAS TO BE “....SOME FOR YOU.”
At the rate this is going, you will die before she does. I’m not joking.
Does dad buy similar items for them that you have on hand? If not, I encourage you to have him buy those items. They obviously enjoy them and it would keep your food safe.
As far as laying juice down and having a leak can I recommend buying some mason jars. They seal well enough to avoid leaks and come in so many sizes that you can do serving sizes, if you wanted. 4oz to 64oz are readily available at any Tractor Supply or Walmart, even hardware stores carry them, then of course you can order them. The plastic ones are pretty handy as well but, I have never laid them down because of the round shape.
If you are planning on locking the fridge, we bought the covered wire rope, .38 cents a foot and the clamps to create circles at the ends and used a keyed padlock. It cost less then 15.00 all together and worked great. We were camp hosting and did not want to worry about our food being tampered with or stolen as the full size fridge sat outside. We were also worried about clever critters finding a way in. Use plastic hooks to have a place for the wire rope to hang when you open it, one for each end, chasing the wire rope was the most frustrating part, until we created a place to hang the ends on.
Another thought, is it possible to put the small fridge next to the big fridge? Then the habit of going to the fridge is not changing the location so dramatically, maybe on the counter next to the fridge. In my dads AL room we put his nightstand on top of his dresser and put the little fridge on top of the nightstand, this was all secured and he loved that he could see everything without having to bend over.
Best of luck finding the best solution.
Prior to getting the mini fridge downstairs we had an electrician out for other purposes. Our home was built in the 60's and things have changed. To update the outlet the fridge is plugged into downstairs (the mini fridge) he said would require rewiring the whole house for thousands of dollars. I am hyperconcerned and would be extremely stressed to leave my pup in here with a potential fire hazard. Yes, she has to stay in here when I am not home (and she can't come with me ALL the time as much as I love her to because of hot weather etc. The electricians comment about the mini fridge Downstairs was to just plug it in and get one of those adaptors at the hardware store if needed. Note I also have to be concerned about the fire risk if either elder is clueless, sleeping, unaware. ANd considering my health, we have to limit the stressors to keep my BP down. Not to mention the royal pain to have things stashed say up here in the bedroom...and the impossibility of preparing food without a nearby sink, water, space. It would be extremely frustrating...but I admit knowing my condiments were safe from contamination etc would be a pleasure. To the end of all this I have considered contacting the fire dept guys and asking if someone could come out and take a look and give me some advice/guidance or reassurance. But as it is such a horrendous mess in here right now, now is not the time. I would be dreadfully embarrassed. Not that they didn't see it when they rescued me when I was sick LOL. You may think another room up here...the bathroom! Great idea...bu the only outlet is on a wall at a distance from the space where it could possibly fit. ANd who really wants FOOD in the BATHROOM? IF it were in the guest bedroom, well the little darling would have access in there as well or we would have to put a lock on THAT door, and I can't begin to tell you how this whole lifestyle gets frustrating and tedious with locking and unlocking...There is absolutely NO WAY for a full sized fridge under any circumstances. I deeply regret our allowing our old fridge to be taken when we got the new one about a year ago before this insanity began. I wish we would have found space for it in our laundry room or garage, though it still would have been massively inconvenient. I just don't think there is an easy answer unless someone builds a fridge with a lock built in or knows of a trick to lock her out that will work. Like I know and said, it won't be forever.
For cabinets, I went to the baby section where they sell child proof locks and bought the best ones available.