My mother is 78 years old, is suffering from early dementia, is no longer able to walk because arthritis, she needs help getting in and out of bed and frankly does not want to get out of bed even for a shower because of pain. She is incontinent. She has limited vision because of a stroke, and has been morbidly obese for most of her life. Doctors have told us that they have done all that they can for her. She is living in a nursing facility where she gets very good and thoughtful care. She doesn’t eat much, but lately has trouble with a spoon. We are not sure if it is because she is weak or not sure what to do with the food. Most days she seems somewhat happy and content. She does not always remember our names. We have had suggestions from nurses and other caregivers to consider hospice. That would include palliative care. Doctors will not schedule any appointments less than 8-10 months out. We see her going downhill a little every month. Has anyone ever had a loved one put on Hospice care even though they are not really at death’s door? Friends have said that for their loved ones it was a good thing as it was easier on the patient, family, and caregivers.
Hospice will let you know if it is to early and if so they may suggest Palliative Care and if they do accept that. The Team that will see her for Palliative Care will let you and the Care Manager when they think Hospice is appropriate.
My Husband was on Hospice for about 3 years. So when Hospice was started he was no where near "deaths door" I don't think he was even in the same room as the door! Hospice was the best decision I made for him. (and for me!)
So if the patient qualifies, there is a lot that hospice adds.
As the facility staff are recommending hospice for this elder, they may see signs of decline, and they can always use extra help with patient care.
Your mother is very much 'ready' for hospice services now. Get her doctor to write an order for an evaluation asap. Hospice is a huge Godsend in so many ways; they provide SUCH a level of support to your mother AND to you, with social workers, CNAs, nurses, chaplains, all intended to help mom and the family with the transition that will take place at some point in the future. The CNA comes in to help bathe mom; the social worker comes in to chat and talk about emotional issues, the nurse does the hands on care & ordering of meds, taking vital signs, and monitoring the patient for changes in health status, etc. The chaplain is there for spiritual support and also to arrange (in my case) for a priest to come into the MC to give mom Last Rites/anointing. Hospice also provides a hospital bed, wheelchair, incontinence supplies, air mattress, bolster pillow (to prevent falling out of bed, and other supplies free of charge. All the meds they use are free, along with lotions, shampoos and other supplies they use to care for the patient. The other great thing IMO about hospice is that there are no more trips to the hospital (unless it's deemed an emergency situation) for the patient, thank GOD for that! No more poking/prodding and waiting around ERs for 6 hours at a pop, and all for nothing. Hospice provides the opportunity for the patient to pass with dignity and grace rather than a horrible experience being rushed back & forth to hospitals and the like. It's never 'too soon' for hospice to get involved. If your mother lives longer than 6 months, she'll get reevaluated at the 6 month mark to see if she still qualifies, and if so, re accepted into hospice care.
I had hospice for both of my parents and it was a good experience both times. Morphine (small doses) and Ativan were used in each case, which kept mom and dad comfortable and suffering no pain or agitation as they transitioned.
Wishing you the best of luck with everything you have going on.
Good luck!
Hospice care is for the terminally ill - usually considered to have 6 months or less of life left - that provides comfort and meet care needs. Pretty sure your mom doesn't qualify for this type of care yet. Talk to doctors and her insurance company.
As I understand it, hospice evaluates the person to determine if death is expected within 6 months. If yes, hospice may accept the person. Interestingly, there’s no hard 6 month clock once hospice begins.
If the person getting hospice care is re-evaluated at some point and expected to live longer than 6 months, hospice can discontinue care.
If the person is in hospice and let’s say it’s month 5, the care can continue if the person is expected to die within 6 months (after a re-evaluation so it would be an 11 month hospice window).
Hospice does no rehab because rehab is for living, not dying.
Your mom will first have to be evaluated to see if she qualifies, which it sounds like she would for their palliative care, which includes a nurse checking on her once a month, but really not much else.
To qualify for hospice care she would have to be deemed by her doctor that she only has 6 months or less left to live. She would then have aides come at least twice a week to bathe her, a nurse to come once a week to start, access to their chaplain, volunteer's, and you their social worker. They would also at that point supply any and all supply's, equipment and medications all covered 100% under moms Medicare.
And of course she would have to be reevaluated(I believe quarterly)to see if she still qualifies.
So it certainly wouldn't hurt to see if she could at least get under the palliative portion of hospice care as it would then be easy if and when she would need to transfer to full hospice care.
And just FYI, my husband was under full hospice care in our home for the last 22 months of his life.
Most people wait too long to get the benefits of hospice. They must be trying to work thru their "goodbye" before they make the decision. In actuality, it's is easier to be in hospice and work thru the emotions with the care and support of the hospice professionals.
The only choice we get in life is how we travel the path. When you come to realize that we can not stop death, but we can let go with comfort, support, and love, you are ready for hospice.
I wish you peace and love in your journey.
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