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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Parent is 86 years old and I do not want parent to go to any facility. However, I live 1 1/2 hours away, brother lives in same town, the parent is very large and I am extremely concerned how to care for the parent.
It sounds like parent’s drama is in high gear. Threatening suicide is a good way to get immediate attention. Is there dementia involved? I don’t think a suicide watch is called for. Just a reality check. A control issue, so to speak, on Mom’s part. Someone mentioned facility to her and she has dug in her heels. That’s not unusual. You, brother and Mom need to have a serious chat about her future.
Unfortunately, sometimes what we want is not in the best interest of our loved ones. Are you saying you and she expect Brother to care for her? Does he want to? Would he be comfortable doing Mom’s personal care? Would SHE be comfortable with him bathing and wiping her? Can she afford long term home health care?
My husband is very large and he is bedridden. I’m not a weakling, but since I’ve been caring for him, my fibromyalgia has kicked into high gear along with my arthritis. I am at the point I can barely turn him over.
You live a distance away. Farther than a comfortable daily trip to care for Mom. You say you’re “extremely concerned “ about caring for her. What are your options? If she doesn’t want to be in a facility, are you willing to move closer to her? If Brother doesn’t want to assume responsibility for her (and it’s his right to refuse) are you prepared to hire caregivers for her? Would you take Mom to live with you? Think long and hard about THAT choice. Take pen and paper and write down your possible solutions and then list the good and bad things of each solution. Let your brother and mother in on those solutions and get his opinion and what he’s willing and not willing to do and go from there.
What has mom's mental health been like in the past? Is this new behavior, or does she threaten suicide frequently? Has she ever been evaluated by a mental health professional for depression? Does she have a diagnosis of dementia?
Have you had a professional assessment of what her need for care is? You can arrange that through her local Area Agency on Aging.
What are her resources for paying for care?
Finally, has seen any local Assisted Living places or Nursing homes? They may be quite different than what she imagines.
Thank you for the advice! I will check with her local Area Agency on Aging. Also, she has limited resources for care and she has seen some local care facilities.
also she is 86 and is living alone. it may be a good idea to go over the house and check for safety issues. are there motion lights outside. are there good locks on the doors. any tripping hazards. are the bathtubs safe. list of phone numbers available for friends, family etc.
my mom would climb up on a rickety old wood ladder to get the top peach on the tree. :( or walk down the steep driveway with a big trashcan in the dark. she didn't think anything was wrong, cause IVE BEEN DOING that for YEARS.
things that would be ok at 50, 60 or 70 years old can suddenly be dangerous.
Thank you! We have done all of the abound she has a medical device button to call for help if needed. She did climb up on a stool last week to clean shelf and fell. Fortunately, she was not injured just sore. The medical call button was used to help her.
Thank you for your input! Certainly a control issue being played out. My husband and I have been through caring for his parents so we are familiar with costs and some resources, however, she lives in a different stat, as well as, the physical and emotional drain on everyone. My Mom and brother have never experienced this with a loved one so I really don't think they understand what is involved. Also, I don't expect my brother to care for Mom by himself, it is just the distance factor. Also, I cannot move due to my husband's job and moving in with us is not an option. Your advise has been very insightful and helpful. I really appreciate that you have taken the time to answer my question! May all be well with you and your family.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Unfortunately, sometimes what we want is not in the best interest of our loved ones. Are you saying you and she expect Brother to care for her? Does he want to? Would he be comfortable doing Mom’s personal care? Would SHE be comfortable with him bathing and wiping her? Can she afford long term home health care?
My husband is very large and he is bedridden. I’m not a weakling, but since I’ve been caring for him, my fibromyalgia has kicked into high gear along with my arthritis. I am at the point I can barely turn him over.
You live a distance away. Farther than a comfortable daily trip to care for Mom. You say you’re “extremely concerned “ about caring for her. What are your options? If she doesn’t want to be in a facility, are you willing to move closer to her? If Brother doesn’t want to assume responsibility for her (and it’s his right to refuse) are you prepared to hire caregivers for her? Would you take Mom to live with you? Think long and hard about THAT choice. Take pen and paper and write down your possible solutions and then list the good and bad things of each solution. Let your brother and mother in on those solutions and get his opinion and what he’s willing and not willing to do and go from there.
Have you had a professional assessment of what her need for care is? You can arrange that through her local Area Agency on Aging.
What are her resources for paying for care?
Finally, has seen any local Assisted Living places or Nursing homes? They may be quite different than what she imagines.
my mom would climb up on a rickety old wood ladder to get the top peach on the tree. :( or walk down the steep driveway with a big trashcan in the dark. she didn't think anything was wrong, cause IVE BEEN DOING that for YEARS.
things that would be ok at 50, 60 or 70 years old can suddenly be dangerous.
this is just some thoughts