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My husband is the early-moderate stage of Parkinson's and Alzheimer/dementia. He has fallen several times (but not often or regularly.) He refuses to use a walker when we go out. I've tried humor, threats, bribes, logic but no go. Ideas/thoughts?
Is he able to maintain 'uprightness' with a cane, or canes? Mom did well with a cane until she broke her hip. The it was the walker, as she did not rehab well.
Now she is terrified to go a single step w/o her walker.
My YB drives her the 2 places she goes, and he insists that she have her walker, or she doesn't get to go.
Adapting to a walker, over a cane, say, is depressing to an elder with walking issues.
You have to be a little tough about it. Sadly. But do see if one or two canes will work for him. Just a thought.
Your problem is the Dementia. There is no reasoning with a person suffering from Dementia. Maybe get his doctor to look him in the eye and say "you must use a walker". A cane does no good if both legs are effected. Canes and walkers are not used correctly either. A PT can show people how to use them correctly and make sure they are adjusted to a comfortable height. People are not suppose to bend over a walker. The walker is placed a little in front of them and they walk into it.
I was told by a man whose wife suffered from Parkinsons that when they fall they fall backwards. There is a special walker for those who suffer from Parkinson's. Its weighted in such a way to help with this.
My Husband, early in his dementia refused to use a walker. I "convinced" him that using a walker would help ME. I loaded up the basket with a lot of the things that I would normally carry. Once he saw that he was helping me he used the walker without a problem. After he broke his hip (slip and fall on black ice) I got him a much larger walker that he used without a problem as he was used to the smaller one.
If he doesn't use a walker, he doesn't get to go out, period. You can't reason with a person who suffers from dementia/ALZ, however, so you tell him, if you want to go out, we bring the walker and you USE it, or we don't leave the house. All it takes is one fall to either kill him or permanently put him into a wheelchair, so this decision is set in stone and not subject to change.
Then you hire a caregiver to stay with DH while YOU go out. It's really all you can do as you make changes in life to accommodate disease and dementia.
I had a friend who is gone now due to ALz. She needed a hip replacement for years before she got it. She used a crutch instead of a cane or walker. We thought she was once again trying to hang onto a vestige of long gone youth. Pretending she had a ski accident we assumed. She drove a little sports car with the crutch riding shotgun. She finally did get the hip replacement and was walking pain free before she died. Never did use a cane. A walker for a few weeks during recovery. My DH aunt used a cane very well for years. She would throw that cane in a grocery cart and spend hours in the grocery. She was on first name basis with the bakery and pharmacy and some of the checkers. Her mobility issues were due to the dementia. Her therapist explained to me at one point that her use of the cane was better for her at that stage of her decline. I was pushing for a walker. She did use a walker but years later. She is now bedfast. Another aunt had Parkinson’s and later LBD. She would fall. It goes with the disease her daughter said. She never used a cane or walker or broke a bone. In the end stages the falls did seem to worsen the dementia. I would suggest you have your DH evaluated by a good physical therapist. See if DH would benefit from therapy. Sometimes it is more dangerous for them to use a device if they are using it incorrectly. also keep a sharp eye on his socks, shoes and nails. One therapist had me change out aunts kitchen chairs as they had rollers. Seems only logical but we can be met with resistance on obvious things and some don’t seem worth the fight until a nonsensical professional points out the problems. Another suggestion is Rock Steady boxing classes for Parkinson’s. These classes really helped my aunt. Google it. Also consider looking into one of the emergency devices that DH can wear. When he falls, you call for help with the device. It saves time and your back. You don’t have much to explain as the service has it all there and can get into your home without your help if needed. Have the therapist give you some pointers on how to manage a fall. This way you won’t be so anxious. You will have a plan when needed. You and he are in this for the long haul so get professional advice on his unique circumstances at this stage and pace yourself. The best support he has is you but not for heavy lifting. Trying to convince someone with dementia is pretty much a waste of time.
I bought my Dad a rolling walker that had 4 wheels, handbrakes, a comfortable seat and basket. Oh my gosh, you'd think I had bought him a Mustang. He went everywhere with that walker, full speed ahead, and I could see him comparing his walkers to other's walkers :)
My Mom, forgetaboutit, she refused to use anything but her cane. She said the walker would make her look old [she was in her late 90's]. Wish she would have used the walker as that cane caused her back to curve over frontward after years of use.
As we went places, she would point to the walkers that had seats and bags, and the colorful walkers. We actually tried a few, however she didn’t understand that you had to apply the brakes to not allow the walker to move.
Once we got a table for the walker and caps that allowed the walker to move more freely, she quit asking for a different walker.
My brother has Parkinson's and has a walker but requires supervision since he often lacks judgement to remember using it. Last month he had a fall injury and was placed in rehab with 24-hour supervision. The retirement place is teaching him to use Google for judgement.
You don’t my wife has dementia and ms and after some falls she will not walk. Doc says no reason she can’t walk she just does not want to put in the work. Probably the same reasons you do not like to exercise.
My mother with dementia was never able to learn to use a walker. Reasoning does not work when people have dementia. They forget and can't look forward to consequences. Some people feel ashamed to use a walker. My husband has a walker with a seat. It is very convenient if he has to go to a place where there is no place to sit down. He doesn't use it all of the time, only if he'll need to have a place to sit down, or if the walking will be long distances. Would a cane help your husband? I've seen some seniors use 2 walking sticks. Eventually, when my mother with advanced dementia was falling frequently, she had to use a wheel chair. She was in a memory care facility by that time, and sometimes it took 2 people to transfer her from bed to the wheel chair if she wasn't assisting, even though she only weighed 90 lbs. Have a plan B for when your husband's health declines further.
No matter how much you try they wont listen, I know I had hard time with both in laws. The only way they started to use it was when they fell a couple of times and thought I should start using it. It seems they still wanted to be independent and not think about getting assitance for anything.
A "walking pole" might look and feel more sporty. Hikers use them. A pole is a bit more jaunty than the two walking sticks hikers also use. Some kind of "extra" support point is important for either temporary or long-term instability.
My mom had macular degeneration and wouldn't walk with a red tipped white cane. My father was loosing his hearing and wouldn't wear hearing aids.
I wonder how I'm going to be when I become the age they were when they needed something to make life easier and less risky. So far I'm balking at getting cataract surgery.
I had a great friend who couldn't go anywhere without her rolling oxygen tank, but nothing could stop her. She was often on the go to, concerts, street fairs, parties. Of course her issue was not dementia. Maybe if you could "pimp" the walker out as my friend did her tank he might not think of it as the enemy so much. My friend was a mummy for Halloween and so was the tank. For July 4th she made a slip cover with cleverly depicted fireworks. For New Years the slip cover was a bottle of champagne.
Again maybe RedVanAnnie's brilliant idea can work for now, in the meantime if you can look up crazy fun signs to put on the walker, or make some up yourself like "Yes, yes, I know this vehicle needs a muffler" or "This Green Vehicle runs on Pizza and Kombucha" (or whatever). Attach an assortment of horns on it, or one cute bulbous bike horn, or a cheerful bike ringer (how about a fake raccoon tail too). In the summer attach a small water canon. If you husband was a biker there's no end to the decorating possibilities. What was his interest or hobby?
My mother got cataract surgery and doesn't have to wear glasses anymore. She loves it. Basically they peel off the lens on your eye and replace it with a new lens. Don't put it off. Just get it done.
My mom refused to use a walker til her doctor sent a physical therapist to her house with a walker. We couldn't convince her. Only the authority of a doctor's order and a friendly, helpful PT got her to consider it. I find the authority of a doctor's order is very helpful in many situations. Even if I just say the doctor ordered something it often works much better.
Revajane, since your hubby has early stages of dementia, try reverse psychology. Tell him that the walker wouldn't work since he can't figure it out, time to put it away. But wait before storing it somewhere, and see if he will try out the walker.
There are some people if you say they can't do something, they will do it. Worth a try.
Tell him you won't take him out unless he uses it or a wheelchair. If doesn't listen talk to psychiatrist for meds for dementia to make him more easy going.
Parkinson's and Alzheimer's may also be known as Lewy Body Disease. Many PCP's are not familiar. but you definitely need to have the PCP or his specialist order in-home PT to assist with his condition. Perhaps even request Palliative care for help. Too many falls will land him in the hospital with a broken hip and then into a nursing home. Pride does not aid anyone in illness whether short term or long term.
Revajane: You're going to have to set a rule, i.e. if he is refusing to use the walker, 'he doesn't get to go out for ice cream.' Or anywhere for that matter. This is a serious issue as another fall could be much more serious than his previous ones.
Always give him his walker and tell him, "here is your walker, put your hands here, stand up straight... let's go." He needs simple and direct instructions with dementia.
My friend had the same problem with her husband, both in the house and when they went out. Eventually he fell head first into the empty bathtub and stayed there for 10 or 15 minutes until she found him. She had to go ask a male neighbor to help her get him out. Within 6 months, her husband went to live at a VA hospital because his stubbornness had created the problem that she was no longer able to care for him at home.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Now she is terrified to go a single step w/o her walker.
My YB drives her the 2 places she goes, and he insists that she have her walker, or she doesn't get to go.
Adapting to a walker, over a cane, say, is depressing to an elder with walking issues.
You have to be a little tough about it. Sadly. But do see if one or two canes will work for him. Just a thought.
I was told by a man whose wife suffered from Parkinsons that when they fall they fall backwards. There is a special walker for those who suffer from Parkinson's. Its weighted in such a way to help with this.
I "convinced" him that using a walker would help ME. I loaded up the basket with a lot of the things that I would normally carry. Once he saw that he was helping me he used the walker without a problem.
After he broke his hip (slip and fall on black ice) I got him a much larger walker that he used without a problem as he was used to the smaller one.
Then you hire a caregiver to stay with DH while YOU go out. It's really all you can do as you make changes in life to accommodate disease and dementia.
Best of luck.
She finally did get the hip replacement and was walking pain free before she died. Never did use a cane. A walker for a few weeks during recovery.
My DH aunt used a cane very well for years. She would throw that cane in a grocery cart and spend hours in the grocery. She was on first name basis with the bakery and pharmacy and some of the checkers. Her mobility issues were due to the dementia. Her therapist explained to me at one point that her use of the cane was better for her at that stage of her decline. I was pushing for a walker. She did use a walker but years later. She is now bedfast.
Another aunt had Parkinson’s and later LBD. She would fall. It goes with the disease her daughter said. She never used a cane or walker or broke a bone. In the end stages the falls did seem to worsen the dementia.
I would suggest you have your DH evaluated by a good physical therapist. See if DH would benefit from therapy. Sometimes it is more dangerous for them to use a device if they are using it incorrectly. also keep a sharp eye on his socks, shoes and nails. One therapist had me change out aunts kitchen chairs as they had rollers. Seems only logical but we can be met with resistance on obvious things and some don’t seem worth the fight until a nonsensical professional points out the problems.
Another suggestion is Rock Steady boxing classes for Parkinson’s. These classes really helped my aunt. Google it.
Also consider looking into one of the emergency devices that DH can wear. When he falls, you call for help with the device. It saves time and your back. You don’t have much to explain as the service has it all there and can get into your home without your help if needed.
Have the therapist give you some pointers on how to manage a fall. This way you won’t be so anxious. You will have a plan when needed. You and he are in this for the long haul so get professional advice on his unique circumstances at this stage and pace yourself. The best support he has is you but not for heavy lifting.
Trying to convince someone with dementia is pretty much a waste of time.
I bought my Dad a rolling walker that had 4 wheels, handbrakes, a comfortable seat and basket. Oh my gosh, you'd think I had bought him a Mustang. He went everywhere with that walker, full speed ahead, and I could see him comparing his walkers to other's walkers :)
My Mom, forgetaboutit, she refused to use anything but her cane. She said the walker would make her look old [she was in her late 90's]. Wish she would have used the walker as that cane caused her back to curve over frontward after years of use.
As we went places, she would point to the walkers that had seats and bags, and the colorful walkers. We actually tried a few, however she didn’t understand that you had to apply the brakes to not allow the walker to move.
Once we got a table for the walker and caps that allowed the walker to move more freely, she quit asking for a different walker.
My mom had macular degeneration and wouldn't walk with a red tipped white cane. My father was loosing his hearing and wouldn't wear hearing aids.
I wonder how I'm going to be when I become the age they were when they needed something to make life easier and less risky. So far I'm balking at getting cataract surgery.
I had a great friend who couldn't go anywhere without her rolling oxygen tank, but nothing could stop her. She was often on the go to, concerts, street fairs, parties. Of course her issue was not dementia. Maybe if you could "pimp" the walker out as my friend did her tank he might not think of it as the enemy so much. My friend was a mummy for Halloween and so was the tank. For July 4th she made a slip cover with cleverly depicted fireworks. For New Years the slip cover was a bottle of champagne.
Again maybe RedVanAnnie's brilliant idea can work for now, in the meantime if you can look up crazy fun signs to put on the walker, or make some up yourself like "Yes, yes, I know this vehicle needs a muffler" or "This Green Vehicle runs on Pizza and Kombucha" (or whatever). Attach an assortment of horns on it, or one cute bulbous bike horn, or a cheerful bike ringer (how about a fake raccoon tail too). In the summer attach a small water canon. If you husband was a biker there's no end to the decorating possibilities.
What was his interest or hobby?
Best of luck.
I find the authority of a doctor's order is very helpful in many situations. Even if I just say the doctor ordered something it often works much better.
There are some people if you say they can't do something, they will do it. Worth a try.
Too many falls will land him in the hospital with a broken hip and then into a nursing home.
Pride does not aid anyone in illness whether short term or long term.
Good luck.