My father (with whom I have had a strained relationship for most of my life) has dementia and can no longer use his phone or email. For 30 years my brothers and I had a great relationship with my step-mother. In the last 5-6 years, however, it has deteriorated to the point that none of us can speak to her -(in my case, at the advice of a medical professional). We seriously suspect that she is mentally ill. I do not believe that she is mistreating my father, but I know that he would qualify for in- home help but she does not follow through with getting it (per my stepsister). Is there anything my siblings can do to maintain a relationship with my father? How do we get her to accept outside help so that the quality of both their lives would improve (and maybe she would be a decent human again)?
She also needs to know she can't do this alone. Depending on her age, maybe a good time for Dad to be placed. She needs to see an elder lawyer about have their assets split. Dads split going to his care and when almost gone, applying for Medicaid. At time he receives Medicaid, SM remains in the home, gets 1 car, and enough of their monthly income to live on.