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Just wondering about my aging process, that's all. It's probably just me and the dementia, lack of focus, or irritability etc. Please don't anyone take this personally, thanks.
I'm not a frequent contributor, but write long posts, and just learned how to get paragraphs to appear. I have a smartphone with a tiny window, sorry.
Long posts are fine as long as they're broken into paragraphs for readability.
As for verbal diarrhea, disorganized thinking causing most of their own problems (was a comma missing in that sentence? The meaning changes if written as ...disorganized thinking, causing most of their own problems...) - meh, kind of harsh.
Some people have short attention spans. Some people don't edit well. It takes all kinds.
Remember the "annoyed, grumpy, old man" guy from somewhere in your youth whose first & impression on you was to interrupt some innocent fun you were having by displaying an overly "annoyed-to-the point of crazy" with a fist in the air yelling something threatening? Or yelling, " TURN THAT SH** DOWN!" Or stealing any & all balls that ended up going over his fence because you "walked on his grass" or broke a window one time, (not you--but someone did once). Eventually, no one wanted to talk to him--- only about him-- if he was mentioned at all. Then, when he died, his lonely, old, mean, cranky, old fart ghost haunted the house & the grass & the windows. Every kid & all neighborhoods have a "guy" like that in them..The ghost stories we all told at camp-outs & slumber parties, had these miserable, scary old people some kids once knew, who now are just scary lost souls. The beginnings of "that guy" are in all of us. When someone I've known from my youth acts "annoyed" by the people who "bother" him with their existence. I remind him of how we looked at life then. Then, tell him what I see in him now. So, forget what others do to "annoy" you. I tell my friend, "Now, YOU ARE THAT GUY!" Then, I ask him to ask himself this, "Really? Do I really want to BE that guy?" Change. It happens. I choose the peace & love of my youth over the cranky old me that I could be.
Sure I understand and respect your insight. However for me, I was raised to be quiet, shut up and don't tell me anything about how you feel, etc. yup that was my childhood and most of my life, so now in my "golden" age, I'm learning to speak up, voice my opinion and live a relaxed life..opinions only hurt if you allow them too. This is life and opinions, thoughts etc. are free to learn from them, ignore them, make comments. It's all good. Seems to me I might have pushed one of your sore spot buttons, it's all good here, live and learn and go on..life is a journey I'm enjoying it finally.
I find that my initial question posts are rather brief. Usually a couple of sentences, but my Comments to questions can be much longer. Point taken.
I'll try to cut them back, because I also have trouble getting through a long post with no punctuation and rambling language.
I think I may try to pack too much information into my responses. Proper medical diagnosis and solid legal documents are so vital for seniors, that I feel compelled to mention them much of the time.
What I don't understand is why many posters don't provide the profile info, so we know what the basics are about their situation. That would save time and space on the post.
Bloujeanbaby-- Laughed my head off at your post! Hubby had a neighbor just like that who tormented him all through his childhood--man lived forever and long enough to torment our grandkids. Hubby FINALLY stood up to him and said "you're a sad, miserable old man. I never did anything to you, ever. My son didn't do anything to you. I just feel really, really sorry for you". Man shut up and I never saw nor heard from him again.
Lesson learned: Neither one of us wants to become like this sad, pathetic old guy.
Totally off the OP subject, I know, but this struck a chord with me.
My first post was friggin' novel, and that was a summarized version lmao. I honestly didn't expect anyone to read it. Me personally I don't mind long posts because I love to read, and I know how easy it is to forget how much you're typing. It kinda just happens unconsciously in my case lol.
I'm 60 and I usually don't mind a long post if it is on target....what really bothers me is the lack of punctuation! One sentence, without commas, periods (wouldn't they be nice) and the improper usage of their/they're/there. I'm just grumpy about that! :-).
Sunnygirl - I tried to give my profile several times but it wont work! Something to do with the zip code I guess because I am not in the USA. . I am over 70 +++ but try to keep posts readable with proper spelling etc. Not too rambling I hope!
I love a profile with the key information -- especially if the loved one has dementia and what the other impairments are, where the loved one is living, how long loved one has been in your care, etc.
A while back we had a run of paranoia based on the realization that anyone with internet access can look at this site, and many people even removed their profiles.
Use a little fiction if you must to keep yourself from being identified (if that bothers you) but please, it would be so helpful if everyone listed their essential details in a profile!
Rosmarin, you should be able to make comments in the "about me" box above where you choose your avatar. Yes, the site is set up for Americans, but you can just leave the zip code blank, as well as any other info you don't want to share such as DOB, care recipient's name etc. (Note: there are two spots to save changes, make sure you are using the right one) And you can set you profile to hide anything you don't want to share.
I do think we need to cut other posters some slack. English may not be their first language and their education may have beed cut off at an early age.
When you are speaking from your heart there is little time to think of commas and grammar. There may also not be time for a busy caregiver to edit their posts.
So get with it guys. So save your red pens for the newspaper, there are usually plenty of errors there to correct.
Veronica, I think for the most part we do try to accommodate people with long, complicated, grammatically challenged posts. Occasionally there are one or two that seem to have appointed themselves the grammar police, but having this thread to whine about it is far better than telling the person off for their writing style. Personally I usually skip anything that looks too difficult to translate because I just don't have the mental energy to work that hard.
I understand how you feel, cwillie. For me if a post has no paragraph breaks, I tend to lose my place and it's too difficult to find where I had left off.
Modern technology is suppose to be helpful, but I find it more frustrating some times.... my boss will text me without grammar breaks, can't figure out what in world is he is trying to say, so I text back... then he texts again, still a mess as he never proofreads anything..... [sigh].... there's 15 minutes I can never get back.
MIDKID, You old man,(uh, husband) has had this happen to him & understands Your son's point of view. all I'm saying is this: If being is a support group, causes you to have show anything but compassion, then you cannot be supportive. Decide to be "cranky old fist--shaking yelling guy" OR the kid that you forgot about who still lives inside you and likes to get wet in the rain, splash in the puddles, and plays with their friends when they have spare time. I feel like the kid in me is the me I like. When you want to lighten up enough to come out & play-- Come on! You can play short-stop, out field, or first. Our differences make us unique, but together we are stronger and more effective. We play like a team because we are all on the same side & our goal is to lift each other back up from the depths of the abyss. Sometimes the heart only speaks in groans because words can't express what is felt.There is a God who understands, though. He does not require us to enunciate or to perfect our grammar. He knows every heart like no other! We are here to help each other. Thank you for helping me when I reached out to you. In my need & my grief, you were there for me. You lifted me from the depths of despair when I had nowhere else to turn. For that--- I am eternally grateful. (Now, tell me that the old, cranky guy in you did that. And I would say no. It was someone compassionate enough to feel my pain, and soothed w/ or without words, w/ a kiss. a touch,--- all of which let me know, I am better because my friends are here! If I fall, they will catch me over & over again).
Gosh, after seeing all the critical opinions here. ..relating to how (much) or whatever is expressed , I am hesitant in posting. I am really quite surprised to see ppl upset about how long a post actually is. Lol. .how interesting to be able to edit and analyze a person via a long (or short )posting. Inappropriate paragraphs, punctuation ...I feel like I am in 9th grade USA, English class..heehee.i I suppose reading inproper compilation of dialogue can be frustrating. **I did find by reading here, some folks are rather ugly towards folks sharing concerns.** Due to those comments made ,by some persons ,who have been on here for quite some time, I hesitate to post. I definitely hesitate on referring a struggling person to this site. !!
I admire those who are savvy with the technology available today in communication.( Since I can only view 3 short lines of text on my phone !!) Hopefully everyone will have a good day. **And the white rabbit is found eventually! Lol**
No one can please everyone. If too short of a post, or too long... read what you want and let the community type as little or as much as they want to. Bottom line, this is a great way to get help, support, commendation, ideas. Don't stop posting to please others. It is not doable. Instead, encourage all and make them feel free to express themselves. We're dealing with enough stuff in our lives. Let this blog be a comfortable place to come to. M88
I think the point is that we want to help as many people as we can who write onto the forums..... but if we can't understand what was posted, we either try to answer or we move onto the next new post.... [sigh].
turtlrunr - *please* don't be hesitant to post. The thing to keep in mind is that this is a very large, very diverse community. Some people here are younger, some are older. Some are currently caregivers, some are former caregivers. Some are caring for someone in their home, some are caregivers for someone residing in a facility. You're going to get a wide range of opinions and experience, and to be honest, that's a good thing, because it may bring to light viewpoints or ideas you hadn't thought of yourself.
Yes, we have a few that are rather outspoken and their responses can seem harsh - but for the most part, everyone gets along and is respectful to one another. Just overlook the occasional snappy post from someone who might be having a bad day. I'm sure I don't have to tell you, the caregiving game is not a fun one most of the time.
And as far as the long posts thing goes, all it's done is create concern about the length of posts - so now we see people saying, "Oh gosh, sorry for the long post!" instead of feeling free to post their feelings, vent, ask questions, etc. - and I'm tired of it. We shouldn't have to apologize for the length of our posts just because a few people don't like it.
Susan you are right. If the post is well written and I am getting something out of it I'll read the whole thing. If its not, then I just don't read it. But punctuation, paragraph breaks etc. do help make it easier.
Some of these posts are very critical, however, this was not really a question that someone needed help. I wouldn't let this thread deter you from posting anything you want, anyway you want! As mentioned above, we all caregivers, past or present and sometimes things are posted where we feel comfortable to vent. Bottom line, if you need help, please don't hesitate to post. Hope all have a good night 😴
I definitely agree, Gershun - the punctuation and paragraphs are a huge help. Unfortunately, with the wide variety of devices used to access the site, our posts don't always show up the way they should, with paragraph breaks. I know accessing it on my smartphone is difficult and posts don't break where they should, no matter how many times I try, so I don't bother unless I'm on a PC.
Well, the way I see it is of one finds it tedious to slog through just skip the post. Not everyone can always put their thoughts coherently on paper, particularly when frazzled with stress and needing to vent. That said, I do agree that one long sentence is a bit tricky to sort out. Having ADHD myself, I always find it easier if even every sentence is a paragraph!
Thanks Sophie, that's just what I do now, either slog through it or read it, but some are too, too long to read, so I skim those. I enjoy reading most people's posts, and learning. Have a great day!
As a habitually wordy writer, I would like to apologize in advance for taking up acres of white space on your screen.
I have written for a living, and adore the expressiveness of the English language. I appreciate the pithiness of a succinct, well-worded comeback, the meanderings of a gripping story, and the step-by-step descriptions of user manuals. (I've created, at some point, all of the above multiple times over.) Tweets and their 140 characters handcuff me; I usually overflow the limits therein. I'm a Facebook person, through and through.
And I do like paragraphing to break up the flow.
I tend to be on the long-winded side, but I try to make a valid point amid my descriptiveness. thanks for reading.
I'm another long-winded writer. I think I'm generally coherent and well-organized, and I hope that helps. I seem to get a lot of "helpful" clicks, so I assume I am being read.
Immediately before coming to this thread I posted on a thread about light therapy. When I posted it I was kind of surprised at how long it was. Oops.
I can be more succinct, and I usually am in business writing. I guess on this site I feel free to have a friendly chat.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Long posts are fine as long as they're broken into paragraphs for readability.
As for verbal diarrhea, disorganized thinking causing most of their own problems (was a comma missing in that sentence? The meaning changes if written as ...disorganized thinking, causing most of their own problems...) - meh, kind of harsh.
Some people have short attention spans. Some people don't edit well. It takes all kinds.
I'll try to cut them back, because I also have trouble getting through a long post with no punctuation and rambling language.
I think I may try to pack too much information into my responses. Proper medical diagnosis and solid legal documents are so vital for seniors, that I feel compelled to mention them much of the time.
What I don't understand is why many posters don't provide the profile info, so we know what the basics are about their situation. That would save time and space on the post.
Laughed my head off at your post! Hubby had a neighbor just like that who tormented him all through his childhood--man lived forever and long enough to torment our grandkids. Hubby FINALLY stood up to him and said "you're a sad, miserable old man. I never did anything to you, ever. My son didn't do anything to you. I just feel really, really sorry for you". Man shut up and I never saw nor heard from him again.
Lesson learned: Neither one of us wants to become like this sad, pathetic old guy.
Totally off the OP subject, I know, but this struck a chord with me.
. I am over 70 +++ but try to keep posts readable with proper spelling etc. Not too rambling I hope!
A while back we had a run of paranoia based on the realization that anyone with internet access can look at this site, and many people even removed their profiles.
Use a little fiction if you must to keep yourself from being identified (if that bothers you) but please, it would be so helpful if everyone listed their essential details in a profile!
And you can set you profile to hide anything you don't want to share.
I will try this, very useful information.
English may not be their first language and their education may have beed cut off at an early age.
When you are speaking from your heart there is little time to think of commas and grammar. There may also not be time for a busy caregiver to edit their posts.
So get with it guys. So save your red pens for the newspaper, there are usually plenty of errors there to correct.
Modern technology is suppose to be helpful, but I find it more frustrating some times.... my boss will text me without grammar breaks, can't figure out what in world is he is trying to say, so I text back... then he texts again, still a mess as he never proofreads anything..... [sigh].... there's 15 minutes I can never get back.
me
.how interesting to be able to edit and analyze a person via a long (or short )posting. Inappropriate paragraphs,
punctuation ...I feel like I am in 9th grade USA, English class..heehee.i
I suppose reading inproper compilation of
dialogue can be frustrating.
**I did find by reading here, some folks are rather ugly towards folks sharing concerns.**
Due to those comments made ,by some persons ,who have been on here for quite some time, I hesitate to post. I definitely hesitate on referring a struggling person to this site. !!
I admire those who are savvy with the technology available today in communication.( Since I can only view 3 short lines of text on my phone !!)
Hopefully everyone will have a good day. **And the white rabbit is found eventually! Lol**
Yes, we have a few that are rather outspoken and their responses can seem harsh - but for the most part, everyone gets along and is respectful to one another. Just overlook the occasional snappy post from someone who might be having a bad day. I'm sure I don't have to tell you, the caregiving game is not a fun one most of the time.
And as far as the long posts thing goes, all it's done is create concern about the length of posts - so now we see people saying, "Oh gosh, sorry for the long post!" instead of feeling free to post their feelings, vent, ask questions, etc. - and I'm tired of it. We shouldn't have to apologize for the length of our posts just because a few people don't like it.
I have written for a living, and adore the expressiveness of the English language. I appreciate the pithiness of a succinct, well-worded comeback, the meanderings of a gripping story, and the step-by-step descriptions of user manuals. (I've created, at some point, all of the above multiple times over.) Tweets and their 140 characters handcuff me; I usually overflow the limits therein. I'm a Facebook person, through and through.
And I do like paragraphing to break up the flow.
I tend to be on the long-winded side, but I try to make a valid point amid my descriptiveness. thanks for reading.
Immediately before coming to this thread I posted on a thread about light therapy. When I posted it I was kind of surprised at how long it was. Oops.
I can be more succinct, and I usually am in business writing. I guess on this site I feel free to have a friendly chat.