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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I hope this isn't repetitive. I started a comment but somehow it disappeared on my computer, so I don't know if it will post or not. Anyway, I was saying that you might consider visiting nurses. I contacted a private VN agency, they came and evaluated mom, then they contacted her dr and got the orders they needed to start seeing her. Her care is through medicare, and she has a lady who helps with her bath 3x/week, a nurse sees her 1x/week, they draw blood if the dr orders it, she's had portable x-rays done at home when she's fallen, and she's also had physical, occupational, and speech therapies, all at home. If she were to qualify for medicaid she could have a provider 5 day/week for 6 hrs/day. The medicaid rules and availability depend on where you live, they are different between states. The VN also have a social worker on staff and she was great about explaining mom's eligibility for benefits. As far as I'm concerned, the visiting nurses are ANGELS in disguise. Don't know if I could get by without them.
Next week is our last week with the Visiting Nurse, and I agree, they are wonderful.. However, in NJ you have to have a need and it lasts only a short time. Once you are deemed better, they have to stop coming. It was great. Last Christmas, mom fell and we had the OT, PT and a helper twice a week for 2 hours. It was great, but not enough. Once they are on Medicaid, they get more services, but still, it is never enough. We can hire through Care Connection a RN who will come for 60.00 per visit. We are starting one soon to come twice a month. It will be a big help. Hope this was informative. Linda
It sounds as though she needs to be in a nursing home under 24/7 care. If she only has social security, she qualifies for government assistance. Contact your state council on aging or a medicaid office to find out how to begin the process. She could wander away during the day and no one would know.
I wanted tro thank everyone. I called the Hospice and talked to the person in charge and complained. He called Mom's doctor and they called me with numbers to call for help. We are in California and she has Secure Horizons. I just got off the phone with their advanced wellness department and she is qualified. They are going to come out friday for an assessment and then have someone come a couple of hours 3 times a week. But the best part is they are going to help me get her into a facility that will accept her SSI and get her on medical. I just hope they don't tell me on friday that she doesn't qualify like hospice did. She can't be left alone anymore and it's so sad to watch. And of course the guilt is unbearable at times. She used to smoke until April when she set my patio on fire. But still asks for smokes and I just keeping saying no. My Dad passed away 9 years ago from cancer and I told him I would take care of Mom. Sometimes I just feel like I'm not doing enough, that I could do more. And then there are the times I resent her and the guilt is so bad for that.
Mia, My heart goes out to you. I know exactly what you mean about the guilt, guilt for not doing enough, guilt for the resentment, guilt for the anger, guilt for impatience. I think anyone in our position has to deal with the guilt thing. Someone once told me to chill on the guilt, that I'm only human with all the weaknesses and foibles that go along with being human. If we didn't feel guilt, we'd be aliens or something! You are doing what you can within your own level of emotional strength, and you can only give so much. I know my well of giving and compassion isn't bottomless, and there are times when I just run out of steam. So you aren't alone, and you are NOT a bad person for feeling the way you do. Hang in there!
What state do you live in? You should check in to local agencies that provide Adult Day Care Services such as Easter Seals many of them specialize in Alzheimer related illnesses
Mia, I know exactly how you feel. I too promised dad that I would take care of mom. She reminds me every week that I said that I would never put her in a nursing home. Mt words have come back to bite me. I have learned never to make promises like that sinceI can't tell what the circumstances will be in the future. Glad to hear that you are getting help!! Be tough and don't take no for an answer.
Lissa is soooo right. My dad was rejected the first time, and then I realized what I needed to say in order for them to accept him which they now have done. They have some patients they have had for two to three years, so the six month thing is a misnomer. Tell them what lissa suggests. It really is all about getting Medicare to pay. I find it so hard to believe your mother is not accepted. My father has his bodily functions as well. Something is amiss here. Check into other hospice programs. Do not give up!!
I'm sorry to hear about the denial of hospice services. It is a blessing that Alzheimer's Disease finally qualifies at all for hospice. That was not always the case. I can say enough about the great work adult day health centers so. In Massachusetts (don't know about other states) they are qualified as "day care" having a social model or "day health" having a clinicial side to the daily care as well. Many accept Veteran's benefits or Medicaid. Often the center will provide transportation to and from the program. Good luck.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Linda
My heart goes out to you. I know exactly what you mean about the guilt, guilt for not doing enough, guilt for the resentment, guilt for the anger, guilt for impatience. I think anyone in our position has to deal with the guilt thing. Someone once told me to chill on the guilt, that I'm only human with all the weaknesses and foibles that go along with being human. If we didn't feel guilt, we'd be aliens or something! You are doing what you can within your own level of emotional strength, and you can only give so much. I know my well of giving and compassion isn't bottomless, and there are times when I just run out of steam. So you aren't alone, and you are NOT a bad person for feeling the way you do. Hang in there!
I know exactly how you feel. I too promised dad that I would take care of mom. She reminds me every week that I said that I would never put her in a nursing home. Mt words have come back to bite me. I have learned never to make promises like that sinceI can't tell what the circumstances will be in the future. Glad to hear that you are getting help!! Be tough and don't take no for an answer.
Good luck
Linda
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