I am a live-in caregiver who is being abused, mainly by my elderly patient's son. He abuses me physically (police called 3times), emotional, verbally, financially.....every day he berates/belittles/humiliates me in malicious manner. I have lived here 2.5 years, and have never had one day off. I get paid VERY LITTLE under the table. I never leave, and he will not even take me to the food store. I have begged him for help with medical care to no avail. Now, my back is injured, and I'm practical crawling, and he made it worse by slamming me into a cabinet. He wont sign documents of residence for low-cost clinic for medical care. He has thrown me off mattress to sleep on floor and claims I cannot use facilities. I haven't left because I have nowhere to go. This family has resources. They call me white trash. I have no family, nowhere to go, and desperately wish to keep my 4 cats/family. Advice?
You are NOT "white trash" (whatever that is supposed to be) and you deserve a life free of abuse.
You may have to give your cats up for a while, but you really can get yourself out of this dysfunctional situation that you don't deserve!
Please, start calling around for a temporary home for your pets, and women's shelters for yourself. Then GET OUT.
Let us know your progress. I don't think this is going to be easy, but you CAN do it. When you run into an obstacle, post about it and maybe someone here can give good suggestions.
I just want to give you an incentive to start looking for a way out. One day, the son will again escalate the abuse. When he really wants to hurt you, he will turn towards hurting your cats. He would know that hurting you physically is nothing compared to hurting the ones you love - your cats. When you find a place, Leave. Do not give him a heads up, or warning. You just don't know how he will react when he finds out that you are 'abandoning' them. {{{shudder}}} I'd keep my cards very close to my chest....
Bookluver makes a very good point about the abuse escalating to the innocent and helpless cats.
Call the police NOW and ask for them to help you connect with your county's social services and find temporary shelter for both you and the cats.
Also tell the police that you're now ready to file criminal charges against the son who's been beating you up. Also address the financial abuse; given that you're a live-in caregiver and probably aren't paid that much, I'm not sure how much there would be to abuse financially, but every little cent counts.
Isn't this why the police are not helpful? "Lady, you are free to leave at any time."
Yes, we understand about your cat family. You are in a hard position, there is no denying that. But you are also a free adult, with a money-making skill. You HAVE to get yourself out of there!
Don't even consider getting "revenge" until you are out of there! Then come back and maybe we can come up with some ideas for you. But first, your safety, and that of your cats.
He underpaid you for more than 2 years. But you accepted that pay. You knew he was paying you under the table to avoid his legal responsibilities but you went along with it. He has been abusive in his demands, but you stayed there. If you were his wife or his daughter it would easier to understand the hold he has over you.
https://www.texasattorneygeneral.gov/cvs/victim-service-providers
and if you start an Indiegogo to raise funds to do it for them I would chip in. Private message me if you want my e-mail addy, etc. or just post a link (remove the http:// and you can put links in messages.)
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