If I’m 20 minutes late she needs to know why I’m late. The other day I caught her staring at me. Asked why. She said, I was trying to figure out if you wore that top yesterday. I have very little to no privacy. I find my patience is all but lost some days. I know this isn’t forever and I should be grateful I still have her, but I haven’t needed someone to keep tabs on me in over 40 years! All she says is well, I’m a Mother. Can you help me figure out how to deal with this?
I'm sorry to read on your profile page that you lost your husband to Alzheimer's Disease.
My mom was like this. She was lonely and bored, but her disabilities made it difficult to pursue activities and hobbies. I tried some things - large print books and magazines, movies and reruns of old tv shows, other things. She's a people person but had no one in her life that could be relied on for calls or visits. I think the lack of outside stimulation caused her to brood and focus on me.
Things improved when we had to hire aides. The best ones were chatty and kind, sharing stories about themselves and their lives. A nice diversion for her.
I know there are agencies that will provide calls and visits to seniors to alleviate loneliness. There are posters on this board who have more experience with these resources. Hang in there :)
You may wish to get earphones that work with the TV. She can hear as loud as she wishes but you hear nothing. She should wear her hearing aides because they help keep her "hearing nerves" properly stimulated. If those nerves are neglected, she may lose her hearing entirely.
If she won't wear the hearing aids, could you get some remote speakers and set them up near where she normally sits? If the speakers are closer, it might be possible to turn down the volume. You can try headphones, but she may refuse that too. One doc tried to put the amplifier headset on mom. She only wore one hearing aid and ALL the doctor offices are set up such that they are on the other side! She hated the headset and took it off.
While it is unnerving to have someone stare at you, the only solace one could take is at least she isn't yelling at you, cussing you out or ranting about some hallucination!
If she questions why you're late (even if you're not!), just pass it off as bad traffic day, then change the subject, get her interested in something else. Agree with her rather than stirring things up. It may seem like you are acquiescing, becoming the child again, but it is ONLY to keep the peace, not giving her the mom power.
Have lots of books or other reading material handy, she likes to read and if you give her something new, she may take interest and you get a breather!
I think I would have the same response: I AM YOUR MOTHER !!
poor kid...I will say I am sorry to my kid now.. I amy not remember to do this later