They call every day to see how Mom is doing. When I tell them certain things that happen during the day, they feel the need to tell me that I am doing it wrong and proceed to give me advice. I don't want their advice. I want them to experience what I go through all day. Is that to much to ask?
Sigh, I know how hard it can be to keep things light and hang on to your sense of humour. Do they ever come and give you a break, or is that not a practical idea?
Better yet...tell them to walk a mile in your shoes..the tell you all about it. Say..a month at their house sound about right?
Bet they back off real fast
You are working too! Very hard and probably for no payment .
It's not so very outrageous that they ask for plenty of notice before they do their occasional cover shifts for you. But, so, if they can manage a couple of hours while you go to the doctor, they can manage the occasional day or weekend - again, given plenty of notice.
Doesn't matter if they believe that mother is just wonderful and marvellous (and they'll soon get over that idea once they spend more time with her!). Let them think what they like. These breaks aren't for mother, they're for you, and you need them. Negotiate! - what have you got to lose?
I know how frustrating it is to deal with siblings that don't even offer to help. Or worse try to tell us what to do, when we are doing all the work. The anger and resentment just snowballs. If you can, consider calling a family meeting. Or consider talking to a social worker, therapist or counsellor, or joining a support group. I know its hard, but try find other ways to communicate how you feel to them. And if they truly don't understand or unwilling to help then I would like for respite care elsewhere. Take care, I know its not easy.