I think there is a need for people to stay productive. I give my mom several carrots on a tray and she peels them. She is good at folding wash cloths and kitchen towels. I complimented her once on helping and she said..."Well, I was a farm girl." Last night I told her I was going to fix dinner and cook the carrots. She replied, "I think I peeled those." She has a knifty knitter and has made four scarf/shawls for relatives. I have to thread it for her but she can move the yarn up and over. She tells everyone that she made her own shawl.
My mom doesn't remember me or my name. She knows we're related in some way. Giving her some things to do to help out has been very rewarding for her and me. What things have you done to keep your loved one useful?
My mother-in-law, now 90, keeps in good shape, is still active. Though nearly immobile, she does enjoy sitting close to us, observe what we do, hear what we say, take part in the discussion, mostly in the form of proverbs, old sayings, and contributions based on lived through experience(s). She welcomes having my wife, her daughter, pass on some chores for her to do, like folding clothes; peeling oranges, potatoes; etc.
Getting seniors to feel that they are still of worth may rank second to having them engage in things to do to activate their minds and bodies, thus helping them live longer, and be healthy.
Both my mother and my husband liked using the paper shredder.
Folding wash clothes (which we use as single-use hand towels) was a favorite activity.
I recently had mother sort coins for me, at the NH. Also we sit and sort beads by color, for the beading crafts. Sorting is a good activity for Mom; it is a bonus when she can feel like it is to help someone.
This should not put you off from reminding her how you would appreciate it if she were more active, for her own sake. The chores you suggest to her may not be the ones she likes to take up. Why not let her suggest herself what would interest her most? LET the INITIATIVE be HERS, not yours. You may offer a few suggestions for her to choose from, though. Should she fancy none of these, still remind her that you still stand by her side, and you mean to help by having her keep active. Hope this may help. With love.