24 days ago I posted a question about dealing with this and I appreciate the responses I got.
Today, it happened. Mom didn't know who I am. She did later in the day. But, it was still a punch in the gut when it happened.
A couple of tears fell but not as many as I thought would happen. She's scared and I have to bare the responsibility of memories for her.
I'm sure it will be a cryfest before I go to sleep tonight.
This is so hard.
My mom thought that I was her mom to the other day. Sigh.
She has not known who I was a couple of times. Others tell me when I'm not in the room, she sometimes doesn't remember me, doesn't know who they're talking about. It's funny because when I am in the room, I'm clearly her favourite.
It's really sad when a loved ones' mind fades.
Love and Prayer
Even sometines when he doesn't know my name, he still knew I was his daughter and when he doesn't recognize a family member, he still knows they're someone he's close to and feels comfortable with.
Even in the end if it comes to he doesn't ever seem to recognize me, he knows if he feels good or bad in your presence and he will respond. So, just keep doing the things mom always liked for when she's gone, you'll have no regrets.
Prayers
Here's a hug.
Another cannot know the pain and grief you feel if not experiencing this themselves (as I haven't). I can only imagine how deeply painful this is and I feel you in my heart.
Thank you for posting here - to get some support and empathy.
This is - for me - a reminder to be as PRESENT in PRESENT time as much as possible; to take in the good and forgive all else... to appreciate what we have and had vs focusing on what we coulda shoulda and / or didn't have.
Crying is so healing - to get it out.
We cannot run away from life and what happens [our hurts and pain] - we can try to hide (often through addictions, medications, numbing out
Feeling 100% of what we feel 100% of the time . . .
Allowing 100% of the time to feel okay about how we feel
Not easy
I hesitate to say this although I 100% believe it to be true.
Your mom knows who you are; it is a part of her brain that is forgetting.
She will never forget in her soul and heart.
Praying for strength during this stage in life.
Trust me she knows exactly who you are make no mistake about it.
Please get support professionally..(Teepa Snow)
look her up on YouTube😊.
If you can do the things she loves with positive family and friends you'll be surprised just how much you both will benefit.
Like one of the comments made on the board here was that she is a gift from God our Father in Heaven he knows and sees...so just believe as you seek him He'll guide you through this process just have faith,it will All work out because he loves his kids.
Sending warm Big hugs and a gentle kiss that you guys will get through this and all the angles will guard you in all your ways.
I know first hand what you are experiencing.
Record as much as possible and take a lot of 🤳 Selfies😉.
This was healing for me and my family when my Auntie went back home to Heaven where she is having so much fun with her family and friends. HEAVEN IS TRULY FOR REAL!!!!
Love in Chirist Sis.👑
When someone has Alzheimer's they lose the memories that happen later in life first. That is why they are often looking for their children, they don't recognize them as adults but do remember them as children. This is also why many women with Alzheimer's carry around babies thinking they are their children. Often times if they are in a nursing home they may try to walk out of a facility around 3 pm, the reason they do this is because they are wanting to meet their children at the bus stop.
If you show your mom a picture of you younger and she knows who that is you can try and tell her that is you, she may or may not accept that. If she does great, if she does not she may know the girl in the picture but not believe it is you. So enjoy knowing that she knows who that girl is and tell her you know that young girl and have a conversation about your life when you were that age.
I hope this helps you and don't forget to take care of yourself!
Cheryl
When someone has Alzheimer's, they lose the memories that happen later in life first. That is why they are often looking for their children; they don't recognize them as adults but do remember them as children. This is also why many women with Alzheimer's carry around babies thinking they are their children. If they are in a nursing home, they may try to walk out of a facility around 3 pm; the reason they do this is because they want to meet their children at the bus stop.
If you show your mom a picture of you younger and she knows who you are, you can tell her that it is you; she may or may not accept that. If she does great, if she does not, she may know the girl in the picture but not believe it is you. So enjoy knowing that she knows who that girl is and tell her you to know that young girl and have a conversation about your life when you were that age.
I hope this helps you and don't forget to take care of yourself!
Cheryl
I found the best I could do was to get into her world. Just know even when her brain is not letting her remember you at that moment, her heart is never forgetting you and your love. You might have read my remembrance before on this forum, when my Mother didn’t know I was her daughter, thinking I was the housekeeper, but she said, “I don’t know why, but I have loved you from the first day I met you.” So you see that love is in their heart. She has not really forgotten you. Please carry that thought close to your heart.❤️
I'm sorry you're going through this pain. Can you think of your mom's memory loss like this? : Certain memories are filed away in the basement of her brain, in the bottom drawer of a dusty old filing cabinet. The memory is there; she just can't access it.
It is so hard to relinquish the loved ones we once knew. Just know that deep inside, your mother's soul knows and loves you.
The only solace is that, it tends to come and go. And, I am certain that they remember us deep down.
They might not know exactly who we are, but they seem to know that we love them.
It must be heartbreaking to go through this. May you be blessed with peace and grace.
Side note I have naturally ‘loud’ all-over-the-place long hair, and since the last time mom landed in the hospital I decided to always wear it down as a signature look. It’s helped her recognize me and when I point to it she does remember. That won’t last forever but the ‘signature look’ has helped so far.
Hugs to you!
I don't know if she sundowned, was playing around or really didn't recognize me. It was the only overt time it happened.
The weird thing is that I just rolled with it like it didn't even happen.