Husband has advanced dementia. Goes to adult daycare 5 days a week. I have an aide for 6 hrs Sat and Sun. He’s on community Medicaid which pays for this. The problem is this marriage was over a long time ago and I resent having to navigate the system alone. My case manager is not very helpful. I’m pushing 80 and my husband is 88. I feel that my life is over as I watch him slip away. Financially placement without hospitalization is out. I tried to take care the best I can, but I just want some peace.
What do you do with your time when he's at DayCare or when the aides are there? Do you get out? Go to the library or visit with friends?
Have you consulted an Eldercare attorney about applying for NH Medicaid for your husband?
is there no facility where he can be placed for long term care?
can you ask for another case manager?
I know that living with and caring for someone with dementia can be draining and exhausting.
He was never all the good to me. My kids and I never wanted for much when they were growing up and we had nice houses. But he was gone 7 days a week. He cheated on me and at times, treated me like something that stuck to the bottom of his shoe. And now look at us. The things I have to do for him....well.
I agree. Get another Case Manager and get more help. A lot of them are overworked. I’ve been waiting for a call for two weeks. Are you ok with him going to a facility? If he does, I know you’ll find the peace you’re looking for. Good luck.