I just got this email response from my brother today. You would think he PLAYED football but nope, just a spectator...
"Due to the start of football season, we are unable to cover Sat./ Sun. 9-11or 9-12 or Sat/Sun 9-l8 or 9-l9"
I use the couple of hours off to go buy groceries! I had to laugh or I would be crying. What stupid excuses have you gotten?
I had to practically extract that answer. My sister never does anything she doesn't want to do or thinks is unpleasant. She is very selfish. There are times I wonder how we can be related. But then I remember she and mom are like two peas in a pod. Mom is selfish and mean about it, sis is selfish but very quiet about it. They make me sick.
I'm sorry your sisters are ignoring the fact that you are caring for their mom. I wish I had an answer or solution for you but I don't. It's a real mystery to me how one sibling always gets the shaft.
Are your kids going to step up when it's your turn to require care?
Julie, I'm stunned at your brother's email. Talk about insensitive and selfish. Sure hope your mom doesn't get real sick during football season. He'll have a tough decision to make!
"One mother can take care of ten children but ten children can't take care of one mother."
God thought so much of our parents that He actually made it one of His commandments to take care of them. I can see St. Peter shaking his head at my brother once he arrives at the Pearly Gates...
"Hmmmm....Seems you chose watching football over taking care of your elderly mother...Sorry...Woosh! NEXT!"
What an insult!
I know what y'all mean about wondering if we are related.
It is up to the youngest daughter to provide everything!
What is with family? I am so disappointed with mine but mine have "busy Lives".
So do I ... caring for our father & all it entails.
A football game?
Glad you're here ... at least you might find some sanity!
I have no family in regards to as brother or sister so I am solo.
I have 3 older brothers that don't do a whip! Fork out money now & then but don't understand the daily drama.
Dad doesn't have much to say to them. Disappointed,
You guys having sibling refuse you really stinks.
I don't think I have ever regretted being solo. If things need to be done, I can do it.
I miss having support .. but if the support comes with whining & stupid excuses ... Dad & I will manage ourselves.
sorry state to be in
The only guarantee is it will be a huge issue in the next ten years, aging baby Boomers and us I am 39, gen X and the fact medicine extends life but not necessarily improves it the needs for nursing care will increase almost exponentially.
No one really wants to think they will need demise and end of life care but unless one dies young or suddenly it is a given for most of us. I say set up a plan as soon as one can really. We know a great deal more about aging and needs now and do learn as time goes by and you are right..It is what it is. Wearing!
How do you retain an ounce of sanity?
Tantrums???
Nonsense!
He needs to be away from you.
If he treated you with respect, like my father does, that would be a different scenario. As difficult is is is having Dad & I living together in isoslation, we get along. Lots of respect
What are you going to do? You can't live like this ...
RIP - yes, he does need to be away from me. He has become so dependent on me and has periods of confusion when I am gone because his routine is different. And once he gets over his anger ( or forgets, I'm not sure which), he tells me frequently how much he appreciates what I do for him and what would he do without me. Then the guilt kicks in for my frustration with him. It's so complicated and so exhausting. But he actually went to bed early so I'm hoping to catch an extra hour of sleep tonite.
Thanks for the support, the understanding, for being there!!! You'll never know how much I appreciate the kind words.
So many of us have similar sh*t happening, yet every situatation is different.
The common thread is: We didn't sign up for this! There isn't a handbook! I don't think any of us were given a choice.
Sunday my windshield wipers wiped out. Rotted. I drove to the auto parts store to buy new ones.
The handsome guy yakking into his Bluetoothe behind the counter told the kid sweeping the floor to find what I needed.
I wasn't familiar with replacing wiper blades & told them
Arrogant AH said "They come with instructions"
I replied: "So did I, but it doesn't help!".
Broke the tension ...
the arrogant ass hole laughed.
Sweeper kid replaced the wipers & got a nice tip.
What has happened to courtesy?
I remember driving to the gas pump & having a service guy check the oil & fluids, air pressure in the tires, even clean the wind shield!
Those were the good old days!
Everything is so base and tacky, we glorify things that are obscene and deride what is sincere and hopeful.
I know enough about the mistakes of the past to know going back is not the answer, but such a self-serving, valueless society is a danger to itself.
And it isn't off topic either. When people are convinced by society in coddling their own lesser interests, and believe that 'taking what they want with no thought for others' is a good game plan in life...well you get morons like the posters brother who will 'work out a care giving schedule based on the football season'. ie. "I will look after you,(help you) when it is convenient for me." Tragedy that he ever have to put himself out to do a useful or kind thing for another person, family or not. Maybe it is fear of death or witnessing the end of the aging process we are all going through, but denial is a poor excuse to opt out of giving a hand now and then.
Please don't read me wrong, I am a Liberal and want no absolutes or "You have To's" on this, but people need to step back and look at their lives and think if maybe they could DO a little better themselves, not FOR themselves, but for others, someone in need. You don't have to turn your life over to care giving but just a bit of help now and then, would that be so hard? Why? You can't sit with an older relative for two hours or get some groceries to help out a care giver, or maybe pay attention to the discussion of medical care and possible emergencies...and not just the discussion that starts when so and so is gone the bank account....I smell greed and selfishness under all this. I have to admit I am not immune to it personally. Some times I resent that my four cousins and sib will inherit the exact same % of life insurance as I when my grandfather dies, and they have not lifted a finger, while I have been here 24/7 for years doing every task imaginable for his care. The most I can say, is one cousin on the Other Coast sends him a card every four months to let him know what she is up to. What can they do, they have lives, marriage, child, college, I know, people are busy...
I think, ."People choose what busies them."