I am not sure why but whenever I find a quiet moment I find my self on google trying to figure out what stage my mom is at. I believe she is at the moderate stage. Why do I want to fit her into a peg? Could it be my fear of the unknown everyday? Has anyone else done this or been through something similar?
I think we who post here are for the most part, competent, fix-it types. There must be a manual on how to fix this, right?
It's a feeling of defeat and ultimately of realizing this is all beyond our control.
Familiarity with the stages can help you see about where your LO is in the progression. It also helps you to prepare for what is coming next. Just try not to dwell too much on the stages. Each person's progression through this awful disease is unique. Just try to navigate it as best you can with your LO. May peace be with you.
There are some 50 types of dementia. Some of them progress by predictable stages (ALZ does) some of them seem to progress randomly. They all go through "mild, moderate, severe"). Caregivers can pretty well figure those designations out themselves. Your mom may well be in the moderate stage. But I'll bet she also has days when you think, "Maybe she is still in mild dementia." And probably there are incidents where you wonder if the severe stage has begun. Am I right?
Each type of dementia has its own timeline. For example, in ALZ hallucinations tend to come late in the disease. In Lewy Body hallucinations are often the first symptom. So looking up when hallucinations occur wouldn't help unless you know what type of dementia was present. And some people with ALZ or LBD don't have hallucinations at all. Each individual has variations.
I think your current obsession is perfectly understandable. It isn't apt to be as helpful as you hope, but no harm, I think. Belonging to a local caregivers support group -- one specifically for dementia if possible -- is likely to be more productive. You'll get more out of the time you put into it than the obsessive Google searches.
I see that your profile says you are taking care of someone with diabetes. Is the dementia a recent development?
I said "Well, when I come back each week, you hardly have anything left to eat." She skipped a beat and then said. "It looks like to me that you aren't planning to come back next week". I laughed and she laughed and I said "people with dementia aren't supposed to be able to reason". She said "Who has dementia, I don't have dementia. I'm just old." And then I said "and hungry" and she said "and hungry". More laughter.
So my question lately is what level am I at, never mind her? She seems sharper than me. She's got me happy to be making her lunches. I know it won't stay that way. She's at a good place today so I'm just thankful for that.
In LBD (which my husband Coy had) memory is often not the main problem area. And cognitive ability fluctuates widely. Fairly often I would forget something and Coy would know the answer. I'd say, mock indignantly, "Hey wait a minute! Which one of us has dementia?" He enjoyed those instances.
Have Google and read so much lately I do believe she was showing very early signs before the coma, including not taking her insulin properly.
I do think I am trying to figure out what is coming next. She seemed to progress so rapidly and just not sure if I should expect it to stay this rapid.
I wouldn't let it bother me, unless it's something that is disturbing you or interfering with your day. If that's the case, then, I'd try to get some help with it.