My mother has had to go to LTC due to a fall where she broke her back. She had been very independent living in assisted living with Parkinson's. She had a few falls but had been doing very well. We had noticed some decline lately and was not surprised that his fall diminished her ability to care for herself. But, now, she had developed dementia and is combative. She is now refusing to eat. I have tried to be there for meals and tried to help her but it did not help either. She kept fighting and saying she would not be fed like a baby. I offered her the fork or spoon to feed herself but she pouted like a child and still refused. She still slaps at anyone who tries to help so they will be trying some psych med to see if it will help her attitude. Has anyone else dealt with this? She is 87 and very frail. She will not last long at this rate.
I do remember the time when my mother-in-law was at end stage where her digestive system was shutting down and she refused food. It was in a different way. She would just shake her head "no" and spit out the food. We knew she was failing. Maybe it is just the difference in the two being that she did not have the dementia, combativeness, etc. It is just very frustrating not being able to help her.
So, when I go visit, and she is laying in bed sleeping, I just hold her hand and talk with her. I talk about old thing, great times, her good cooking, her great gardens, etc. Seems to soothe her.
Death is not always a tragedy. Have courage, and God bless you both.