When mom died just a few weeks ago, I died inside. Mom is all I ever cared about my whole life; I love her so much I never moved away so I was with her every single day for 59 years. It's strange Alzheimer's never killed her. She went through liver failure due to liver cancer. She managed to live 90 years of age with 15 years of Alzheimer's. I miss her terribly. But I'm less afraid of living since I already lost everything that ever meant to me. Just mom. I supposed I'll just have to sort through my feelings and just carry on. It was horrible enough getting all the paper work done. Gone back to work...back to university but I still feel very very lonely and abandoned. It's awful facing each day. I wish I knew some magic formula or means to make this grieving easier. I don't like it.
I know I have to accept this, but it's so hard.
I was in a store and choosing a card for my husband for Father’s Day. Oh my Lord, I had to leave the store because I broke down sobbing in the store.
I had to compose myself before I could walk back into the store to buy the card for my husband.
I had suddenly realized that I would never be able to choose a Father’s Day card for daddy again. It killed me.
Grieving is very hard. It will hit us out of the blue and knock us off of our feet.
I know it will take some time for you to adjust. Be kind to yourself. What you are feeling is completely normal.
Hugs. 💗
Now i take care of dad, who i'm not as close with and is difficult.
I hope you find comfort. Make some friends. They help to fill the void. Keep busy with things and do something you enjoy.
All the best ((hugs))
You are doing the best you can to cope right now. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Everyone grieves in their own personal way.
What do you need or want? Do you need your own space right now? Are you afraid or upset to be alone and would rather being around others?
It doesn’t have to be a large group of people. That can be overwhelming at times. Or would you rather be in a larger group to blend in the background?
I have felt all of these things. Allow yourself to move at your own pace. If you feel you are stuck, seek council. It’s going to take time. Don’t deny your feelings. I have done that before with ugly results. I thought I could bypass feeling the pain and trust me, it always catches up to you.
A million hugs, cetude. Your heart has been broken but in time you will heal.
I'm very sorry for the loss of your dear mother. She must have been wonderful to deserve such devotion.
Having experienced a couple of losses of great magnitude myself, I will tell you what eased me into acceptance, thereby lessening my emotional anguish and allowed me to start seeing the meaning of living again.
First, I spoke to my doctor,( I am female and spoke to a female-they do listen better), who gave me suggestions from a medical standpoint, as in how to maintain my physical health.
Then I got talk therapy to help me come to terms with my loss and lingering grief.
The final healing thing that I "did", was adopting a new pet. In my case, each time it was a kitten, who just showed up and needed a home. Animals are uncanny that way.
The first kitten is now ten years old, the second just turned one.
I wish you peace and strength in navigating this new path.
Please know you will feel better.
R27
I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom and all the grief you are currently experiencing. I was also a caregiver for both of my parents with dementia.. all other siblings and family grew distant from them as their dementia got worse.. and I became closer and closer until eventually I disappeared and was just a caregiver for them. People stopped sending me cards, asking how I was, inviting me places....etc.
Last April my Dad passed.. my siblings were terribly mean to me and not supportive to me putting Dad on hospice.. they were not involved in either of my parents or there care in the last 5 years.. so knew very little about his health and where he actually was.. they all banned together against me.
The grief was so overwhelming when he passed as my whole life was wrapped around them... I am still dealing with the grief 6 months later.
Just wanted to let you know that I understand how you feel when the center of your world goes.. it is very difficult to carry on.
I am still trying to figure it all out.. and make something worthwhile out of the time I had with my Dad.
Your Mom only passed a few weeks ago.. dont be to hard on yourself.. give yourself time to grieve.
Take care of yourself now.
I'm working now, and can support myself, and going back to university. Classes start soon, so I'm excited about this... Mom's disease process ate up my life that I sacrificed my life for her. Now it is time to focus on myself and finally do things I want to achieve.
sure I miss her, but reminding myself how she was before she died brings me comfort--she is better off where she's at now.
The mom I used to know where we went out together and she was able to care for herself...that person died a long time ago -- over 15 years -- when Alzheimer's killed her personality and life, leaving her a living shell only.
Your dedication to your mother spoke volumes about your love. Some say there is no love without sacrifice. I have the utmost respect for you.
You deserve to have all the happiness in the world now. This is your time and I believe that your mom would want that for you too.
My mom has the range of motion issues too. It’s a terribly difficult situation. They become helpless needing assistance with all day to day activities.
You went above and beyond and I am thrilled to hear about your job and upcoming opportunity to attend your university. That’s fantastic and inspiring to let others know that it’s never too late to begin anew!
So happy for you! 💗