Now that I'm going to receive a pay from V A everything has changed. My mom won't allow my brothers to help with anything. She tells them that their sister gets paid to do that. I'm exhausted, also pressure washing house, taking both parents to Dr. appointments and so much more. What can I do?
Is it worth it?
You need to ask the VA what is your job discription. What do your duties entail to get paid. Then you tell Mom and Dad what they are and that is it you are being paid for. Power washing I really doubt is part of the discription. VA did not hire you as a maid and handy man just a Caregiver.
If you were a hired CNA your duties would only be caring for the client. If they live alone, yes u do the laundry do some light houskeeping, wash even dishes they dirty. But u do no outside work.
If there is another member in the household, your duty is only to the clients needs. If you get that client meals, yes you clean up. Its common sense if the client soils clothing and bedding that you throw them in the wash not wait for the other family member to get home or expect them to do it. If you do any cleaning, its to keep the clients area clean. You make no extra work for the other member of the household. The Caring you do is for the client personally. Does not include power washing or anything else that does not pertain to physically caring for the client.
Dad is now ur client. Everything not pertaining to his care is "not ur job".
Ignore 'I did all this for x years and I never got paid'. You aren't married to your father, she is.
When I was pregnant and on bed rest due to complications and being high risk, I hired a housekeeper come in to help.
My housekeeper did basic cleaning. I never asked her to do anything extra without paying more for that service. If I wanted my refrigerator cleaned out I asked how much extra would it cost and included the additional amount in her paycheck.
Get an estimate for pressure washing and ask your mom if she wants you to make an appointment for them to come out and clean the house. If she wants free labor then she can see if that is negotiable with your brothers.
Use common sense and and the word NO once in a while, too. Remember that you are being paid a PITTANCE to work 24/7, so don't let a senseless guilt trip about 'being paid' lead you to believe you're an indentured servant to the woman. Ask your brothers for the EXACT type of help you need and tell your mother to button her lip about it if she wants ANY help from you at ALL. And if she doesn't like it, QUIT. Your folks can hire someone else to be their chief cook & bottle washer b/c you're done.
Get a list of duties that are paid for and tell them they have to do everything else because now you *don't have time* as you're being paid to sit next to him and make sure he's comfortable and can't waste time being outside power washing.