My mother was diagnosed in August of 2013 with stage 4 lung cancer. It just blind sided us. This was the last thing we were expecting. We (She) went through radiation and chemo for a few months with no help and she decided to go on Hospice. Day by day she got worse and I lost her the day before Thanksgiving 20 days after her 58th birthday. It has been so hard without her. I miss her every day and every second. My heart literally aches :( It takes all that i have to just get out of bed and function.
When we found out that she was ill i just couldn't return back to my job so I had to quit to become her full time caregiver. 2 months before she was diagnosed i was fine, financially i was alright but now i struggle daily with how I am supposed to take care of everything with no income and i am becoming more and more depressed. I would never change what I did as far as quitting my job to take care of her, because that is what i was supposed to do.
I just feel so lost and don't know how to pick up the pieces and continue on.
I too had a rough time regrouping after my mother and then my sister died. I just wanted to sleep or read; it was hard to focus on moving forward.
Grieving is a natural process; accept it, don't be hard on yourself, and know that eventually, when you feel ready, you can move on.
In the meantime, I agree about trying to find a support group, including one focused specifically on the cancer experience.
I found that going to art classes at the infusion center where my sister had chemo really helped me. The center was absolutely beautiful, calm and serene. We sat in a sun drenched small room and learned colored pencil art. Others participated in ceramics work.
Focusing on art is for me transcendental. Just the process of moving pencils over paper, watching the color and depth change, and seeing the final results took me out of my grief and into a beautiful world.
The magazine CURE is an excellent one with a variety of articles, including grief. It's in print and online.
Pet therapy also helps. Perhaps you could volunteer to work at a local shelter for a little while. Puppy love can work magic.
I really don't have any suggestions for income while you're working through your grief except to perhaps trying just working part time at a job which isn't too demanding.
Take care of you!