My father is now okay & stable in hospital where he has been for the last 27 days. Mum has become increasingly poorly looking after him. An indication of her illness is that she hasn't visited him for 23 days & even missed his 86th birthday on Sunday. He just needs to increase his mobility to return home, COPD & CHF, Mum is on the 2 week cancer pathway. Ironic isn't it ?!
Uhm, sorry if I'm missing something but if your mother is so ill and overburdened that you fear for her life why is returning him home to her care even a thought?
As for your Mom, so many feel, and within reason, that if their husband is ill, they need to drop everything they are doing to take care of that spouse, no matter what. My Mom though she could help my Dad through a heart attack rehab, and quickly realized at her age of 90 that she couldn't even help Dad upstairs to sleep. So Dad slept in his recliner, and Mom on the sofa because Mom refused to let Dad go live in Rehab for 3 weeks.