Hello everyone, I hope everyone is having a good day. I just got back from seeing daddy. As soon as I walked in his room he hurt my feelings - looked at me straight in the face and said you're fat. I looked at him and politely said f*ck you and then laughed about it. 5 minutes after we got there he started acting like he didn't care that we were there. I know all this is his disease but, does he really think he's being funny? Mom's solution is just not go up there as often but is that really gonna help? Will it help? I don't think so because he doesn't even remember if he's had breakfast so he has no idea that I'm not there.
Anyway, I hope you all have a good day - I'm going to be watching football all afternoon and night so ROLL TIDE ROLL BABY!
Get those feet up. Make popcorn. Put a whole huge ton of butter on it. Pour a nice big glass of something and toast Dad. Dig in and have a great time!
I think you are kinda beginning to get it, how all this works.
-I mean, that had to catch u off-guard. Very good that u can laugh about it too.😳.
What a crazy world... Agree that less 'face time' wud be better.
Hang in there friend.
She will say the most outrageous things, right to my face and I honestly don't know if she's serious or 'kidding' but if I say something about it to my other brother he says "well, she has dementia" but I argue that she CAN'T have 'dementia' and be this mean AND be 'perfectly fine' as YB says.
She's always been critical and that I could handle--in a way. But the meanness now is kind of beyond being OK.
When I told her 3+ months ago that I have cancer, her response, straight out was "well, your daddy will be happy to see you". (dad has been gone 15 years). No I'm sorry, what can I do? how are you feeling? What kind of cancer--nope, just, well, slap on the back and see ya whenever. It was beyond hurtful and she did follow up with a phone call about 10 weeks later, not checking in on me, but making sure I got a fruit arrangement she'd sent. The cancer was not mentioned, and she has made no attempt at contact of any kind.
My decision, which was borne out by my oncologist was to stay away from her completely as she was 'negative stress' and I do not need it. Also, she harbors 2 feral birds which are never bathed and these carry toxins I can't be around.
I still hurt and I am 75% done with TX. I have no intention of going to see her ever again, at this point. I feel lousy every single day and seeing her is, on a good day, not great.
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I just don't see or talk to her. Period. Seems really mean and childish, but she has been a thorn in my side my whole life, and despite my best and most careful efforts, she just cannot be nice to me.
My therapist told me that toxic people can be ANYBODY--just b/c someone is family doesn't mean they'll be nice to you. In fact, the most hurtful relationships are usually between family--as you kind of expect them to be decent.
I'm in the process of chemotherapy which does skew my vision on things, but I don't think that once I am done with this, I will continue a relationship with mother. She really doesn't care about me. And perhaps, your parents are in the throes of dementia and you understand that and hope for a better day. I wish! Many people have little to no relationship with their aging parents.
No excuse for that, & please do stay away... just as I said 2Lacey.
We refuse 2be abused