Life interrupted. How did we get here?
Just curious....how did your role as a day to day caregiver start? Were you able to see it coming and plan ahead, or was it a sudden thing? Did you choose to do it, or was the responsibility more or less forced upon you? Was it a career choice, or a personal one?
For me, the every-day stuff started very suddenly - one day my MIL could walk, the next day she couldn't. In that single moment EVERYTHING changed. She needed help and hubs and I were the only ones living close enough to provide it. In the beginning it felt like the proverbial rug had been yanked out from under us and we'd fallen down some crazy, dismal, bewildering rabbit hole. (I still keep looking for that dam caterpillar with the hookah...been thinking lately that I could really use a hit off that thing...;))))) We pressed on though. Days passed. We coped, and learned, and now here we are, nearly six years later.....wiser for sure. Better? Maybe, Idk. Definitely a lot more confident in what we're doing, but a lot more tired too. A LOT more tired....
What's your story?
hanging with my elders is the closest I can come to nurturing someone for now..
Shaking - (((hugs)))! Do take care of yourself while you can. If nothing else, try to bask in whatever peace you can find.
Cap'n - all I can say is I feel sorry for those grandkids; they're missing out on a whole wealth of grandpa wisdom and rich, memorable life experiences without you. I drove thru Gary once many years ago on my way to Phoenix to visit my mom. It looked like a dismal place then...I gather it hasn't improved much. Paramedic is a tough and honorable profession though....I understand the bitterness, but you must be proud of him too...?
Mom's hubby had to go in for a hip revision, first time was 17 years ago. He was going to need rehab following the hip of an undetermined period of time. Sis called, said we need to find a place to "put" mom as well. You see, her hubby had been her sole caregiver for five years previous. The family knew mom had become more and more forgetful, but until I was here none of us had any idea. Her hubby, was in complete denial, and thought she was trying to be funny with her repetitive questions. I had been laid off from my job three weeks before the hip and the call. That was almost three years ago now. And talk about family dysfunction coming out throughout all of this!
If *caregiving* was like a job interview, I would have failed the test. I am not caregiver material. I never had siblings to practice on, nor was I blessed with any children. I was totally clueless. Thinking of future and how my parents will be scares me to death. I am such a bundle of nerves, I really believe my parents will out live me..... [sigh]