BarbBrooklyn Posted July 2021
Has anyone heard from MidKid58?
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She was supposed to have surgery on her foot 7/22. Hoping she is OK.
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Thinking of you!
Hope everything went ahead and she's recovering well.
Recalling Veronica91 when she had surgery, there was someone who reported to us how she was doing.
Having a designated "buddy" would be nice. I think.
I'm stuck here in bed most of the day as I am wearing a huge and unbelievably heavy 'boot' and I've had to keep my foot/leg elevated 90% of the time.
I just today got the bedtable set up with my laptop--and I am trying to pay bills, answer emails and watch a You Tube tutorial on how to be a FaceBook administrator (a church 'calling, as it were, run the FB page. I have no clue what I'm doing!! :)
The surgery went really, really well, acc to my doc. He showed me pics of the inside of my foot. Gross, but also educational as I now KNOW why my foot hurt so much all the time. He only had to do about half of the possible planned surgery, which means a little less downtime, but l'll still be in pain and not walking on it for 4 more weeks. We're almost down 2 and they have gone fast.
Didn't end up at a rehab place--there was no need for one and DH has been trying to be of help. He's doing the best he can, which sadly, is not great. I am trying to laugh it off, it's not forever and he IS trying. He did the laundry the other day. 4 baskets. which he pulled out of the dryer, still warm and packed tightly into balls. I folded all the stuff that could be folded (I'm a bit of a laundry Nazi) and gave him all the golf shirts and jeans and said to hang them up in the bathroom and fill the tub with piping hot water, then go in after a half hour and stretch the shirts until they were smooth. OR, I said "you can re-wash all this and then fold them/hang them up as they come out of the dryer".
In fairness, this man has never done a load of laundry from start to finish in his life, and I bet this week he does it better. :)
He's been OK at the care. I did sleep downstairs one night, and have to 'bum-bump' my way back upstairs. He saw me and said "Oh, no, no. no, this isn't happening!" And he went and made up his bed so that there was space for me.
It's working, but oh, does he miss having the TV on all night!
Hasn't cooked a thing, not even toast. BUT--he did arrange for granddaughters to come and stay over the nights he had to be away. So, I just thank him and things are OK. Neighbors have brought in meals and we've done some takeout. I'm signing up for grocery delivery today.
This too shall pass. And it has made him so much more aware of what goes in to making a house run efficiently.
My daughters have kind of opted out of helping--one will pay for ANYTHING, one will help a little. but she brings 3 small kids (including the raccoon) and that's useless and one starts back to school (she's a Kindergarten teacher) next week!
I'm hiring a yard crew and calling 2 nieces to clean. I can't stay down the entire time and I find that I can keep up with most of the 'basics'.
All in all, it hasn't been FUN, but it has taught DH a huge lesson--that running a home is a FT+ job.
I have this stupid anxiety disorder and it was at fever pitch pre-surgery and is now a more manageable level. I'm hoping the doc puts me in a less bulky shoe this week. The bruising from the huge boot is incredible. I kept washing my legs, thinking they were dirty and they're just bruised from knee to ankle.
One thing for SURE: This has taught me to be more patient with my mom and my DH (although I truly don't know if it's possible to be as patient with him as he 'needs'!)
Thanks to all you who were thinking of me--how very kind to have good cyber friends. We're all going to get older, I just want to do it with dignity! I'm learning the hard way what DMEs are really needed and what can be done without.
Thank you for your support!!
Heal quickly and keep the stories coming. A racoon? Do tell!!!!
I’m glad that your hubby is being helpful!
Yes, please! Share about the raccoon! 😂
Thank you for letting us know how you are doing.
You will never know how many caregivers on here who need the same or similar surgery and have put it off will be helped by you leading the way.
Our youngest (by 5 years) grandbaby and just an absolute firecracker whose goal it is in life is to destroy EVERYTHING in his path--and is done with SUCH joie de vivre! He's just past 3.
I could give you an example everyday for the last 18 months of his life when he discovered how FUN it is to be a little monster.
He thinks he rules the roost and we don't do much to try to change that dynamic!
He is funny, beautiful, messy, interesting and completely 'crazy'.
His family is currently renting a lovely home until mom and Dr. Dad find their 'forever home'. So far, he has drawn on every wall in the house, locked his babysitters out of the house and refused to open the door, shoved rotten aples down the outside dryer vent, dunked all the toothbrushes and hairbrushes in a giant vat of Vaseline and then pushed THEM down the heat vent he opened--and then poofed a whole bottle of baby powder down said vent...takes his soggy diaper off every AM and throws it at his poor older brother...lost ALL his matchbox cars and then cried b/c when he showed his mama he'd actually shoved them down a gopher hole and mama refused to go after them! He swipes sips of whatever drink is sitting out, so we've shared a few colds. He waters mom's plants by pouring Diet Coke in them...shall I go on?
He has not one ounce of 'mean' in him. This is just him living his best life.
We have 14 grands. Nobody has been so busy and such a little skunk.
YD never helps me out with anything. She brings the raccoon and we are ALL on high alert, b/c we don't know what he'll do next.
The other day YD was bemoaning 'why don't they have a place I could take him for a few hours 3 days a week so I could go to the gym and maybe get my house cleaned?" We all looked at her and said "They DO! It's called pre-school!" "Oh, but I can't put this baby in preschool!" (she knows full well she can, and actually SHOULD!)
He can READ for the love of heavan. And do simple math. Preschool would just teach him some behavior skills that obviously are not getting through to him.
Doesn't help that when this family walks into a gathering and we all yell "Calvin's here!" like he took a cab or something. He has every cuzzy wrapped around his finger. And a couple of uncles too.
That's literally the tip of the iceberg. I was babysiting 3-4 times a week until the surgery--now I cannot chase him and he doesn't 'obey'--so it's a bit of a mixed blessing.
His 2 older sibs are calm, delightful, loving brilliant people. He will be too, when and if the 'raccooness' passes.
And yes, I gave his mother the mother's curse. He is a carbon copy of his mama.
(Snicker)
The raccoon LOL 😂😂😂
Glad your on the mend. About laundry. If clothes get wrinkled, put them back in the dryer with a damp washcloth. Put the dryer on high and leave in for ten minutes or more. The damp cloth steams out the wrinkles.
Yeah, I don't think DH will make that same mistake again, It was actually funny. My daughters got a kick out of it.
DH has been quite sweet and doing the best he can. Last night he realized he'd not bought 'dying Coke' (what the raccoon calls Diet Coke) and I said "It's no big deal"--and put on a movie to watch and he fell asleep which is what movie night is for us. At 11:00 pm I was tucked in for the night, he wakes up, and runs out the door to get the 3 or 4 items he'd forgotten. I got up today and I have about 6 cases of DC. I only drink a can a day, so it'll last.
He's been good to bring me ice packs and make sure I am not doing too much.
I know he's making up for how absent he was during my fight with cancer. And I have forgiven him for that---I'm not spending my life being mad. He's arranged for one of our kids' families to come get the yard shipshape tomorrow and he will make sure to get me to the Dr on Wed. He's making sure I'm eating a LOT of protein, and honestly, really being a peach.
I have 3+ more weeks before I am walking--so he still has to help, but by no means is he runnning the house. He's commented umpteen times how HARD this is. I know. I did it, raised 5 kids and worked PT!
Yep--the raccoon has a great life in front of him. A kid with more JOY in him, I've never met. He locked his cousin (who was babysitting) out of the house the other day and taunted her by holding up snacks and drinks at the door and saying "Oh, Anna, you can't have dese!" By the time she got in the house she was so mad, but you can't be mad at the raccoon. AND his mama paid Anna $70. So now Anna can get the Doc Marten boots she wanted.
No sleep last night, so I feel kind of cruddy today, but DH is at a jobsite and so I am going to nap. One of my kids' families is coming down to get the yard in shape and that will be good. My niece is coming to clean tomorrow and THAT will feel great. I can shut the blinds, but the house is slowly falling apart around me.
Thanks to all my cyber friends! You were there with me during cancer and are there for me now. Funny how close I feel to many of you! (But I do miss my daily dose of Dorker!)