Follow
Share

My MIL has impossible feet to fit. Last year I spent an entire day and traveled about 200 miles to visit nearly every specialty shoe store in our area only to find that she could not be fitted with shoes - her feet are just too fat and swollen (bunions, too!). She has forgotten this trip and wants to do a repeat performance - which I refuse to do.

We have also done the orthopedic shoes from the podiatrist - expensive - and she refuses to wear them. She says they 'hurt' her feet - we think she just thinks they are ugly. Unfortunately, what else do you do for ugly, swollen beyond belief, feet?

She is diabetic and SHOULD wear shoes at all times and she doesn't. Her feet are a mess. She still crams them into a 15 year old pair of lace ups that have sort of 'stretched with her' over the years - but they are nearly worn out. Her feet just sort of hang over the tops.

She gets these magazines in the mail and wants to order shoes from them. We have tried that a couple times and I have also ordered shoes from Amazon.com a couple times - but we must always send them back - losing money on postage each time. She just cannot wear a normal shoe anymore. That's what she wants and it just isn't possible anymore. Her arch is nearly 5 inches high - with swelling. Her feet look like little fat clubs - like she is walking on 4x4's..

If any one knows where a person can find some fashionable looking stretch fabric/lycra shoes for impossibly hard to fit feet - she would need an 8.5 and VERY WIDE and the height of the shoe is also a problem due to the swelling.

Her foot doctor has talked until he is blue in the face.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.

51 Comments

Newest
First Oldest
First
1 2
I have had the same problem with my mother with extrememly swollen feet and ankles from water retention and she also has a toe that crosses over the other, making it impossible to find shoes. I searched everywhere and found shoes she loves and are comfortable and they FIT.!!!

Of course I don't know what style your MIL wears, but I found these shoes in the Dr. Leonard catalogue - it is a discount healthcare catalogue. The shoes are made by Dr. Scholl, which has always been a good brand. They are described as comfortable, high-performance shoes that are perfect for walking, and exercising. They resemble sneaker/shoe all in one. And what so excited to me after all the long searching, they carry extra-wide widths. They come in navy blue, tan and white and are kind of a leather fabric cost between $26 and $36. These are the best I could find andshe loves them and says they are so comfortable. They also have a velcro flap the adjust to where you want to fit properly.. If you want anymore information, just ask me. They have been a life saver for me and her as they were impossible to find. Hope they might work for your MIL. Take care and good luck.
(4)
Report
I have a Dr. Leonard catalog and can also access the catalog and order online. I have looked at quite a few shoes and I am very afraid that even the widest ones will not fit my mother in law. Her instep is VERY high - at least 4 inches and shoes just don't come ready made that fit except the ones she got from her foot doctor. If it is big enough to go over her instep - then it is too big and slips up and down on her heel. It's just an impossible situation - and she isn't willing to accept it as such yet. :-(
(1)
Report
I've gotten some nice shoes from my podiatrist, but his office only carries on line of shoes. What I've found to be more effective is to buy from an Orthodtics & Orthotist office. They have catalogs from at least a half dozen companies. And the Certified Prosthetist & Orthotist is an expert at fitting deformed feet and well as more ordinary needs. He has even converted my husband's last-years shoes to bowling shoes for him.

Yes, specialty shoes are expensive. My insurance paid just a small amount toward them, but once I hit Medicare, they are completely covered if you have diabetes, as your MIL does. This is a great benefit, and it is based on the fact that foot problems in diabetics can be very costly, and the prevention of wearing suitable shoes is well worth the investment.

So, there is a potential source for comfortable, supportive shoes, fully covered by Medicare. That's the good news. The bad news is your MIL's expectations. She needs shoes that can be customized by a professional and she wants shoes out of fashion store. Sigh. That will be the hard part.

Yes, she should wear shoes all the time. My diabetes doctor insists that I wear water shoes from the locker to the swimming pool and even in the pool! No bare feet or open-toed sandals for diabetics! Buying out of a catalog is just a joke, and you've discovered that traveling to all the local stores is futile. I don't know how you get MIL to accept it, but stand your ground.

Good luck!
(4)
Report
Ooops ... the office is for Orthotics and Prosthetics. Once you've found one and have ordered a pair of shoes, bring in the pair that hurts. Their specialist may be able to make adjustments to improve their comfort.
(1)
Report
I really don't know a whole lot about this. I have heard of congestive heart failure in many people and this causes swollen feet. One night I was on my PC in one spot for quite some time and I am in perfect health, and my feet swelled up like balloons, It hasn't happened since, It was because I was sitting stationary too long. Salt intake may have been a cause as well as sitting without movement.
(0)
Report
She is very good at sitting without movement :0) We will see her primary doctor on Wed. and we must address the swelling issue - she has had swelling for some time but not as bad as it is now. Yes, she thinks she should be able to go to the store where she purchased her lace ups (15 years ago) and walk out with another pair! She forgets that she had stretched and stretched and stretched these.

She was fitted for new shoes at the podiatrist's office and just refuses to wear them - period. They are truly the ONLY shoes that will actually go onto her deformed feet properly and give her proper support. She doesn't want support - she wants what she wants. We see the foot doctor again next week - I will take the shoes back to him and see if there is anything he can do to address her complaints about them 'hurting' her feet. She also claims they are heavy and they are light as a feather. They are just much bigger than what she has worn up to this point and she does not like them.

She also does not lift her feet anymore and I think she is afraid she will trip or stub the toe of the shoe because they are much bigger.
(0)
Report
Try Zappos. They have a good variety of shoes in extra wide. Good luck!
(0)
Report
When I said that buying shoes from a catalog was a joke, I only meant for people with deformed feet. I hope I did not offend catalog shoppers! And for those of us with diabetes and Medicare, getting our shoes through a podiatrist or Certified Prosthetist & Orthotist also includes some customization and is covered by insurance! I've seen some Drew shoes I like in a couple of different catalogs. I know my CPO carries Drew so I'll ask his opinion of the ones I like when I go in for my shoe fitting in a couple of weeks.

Oldcodger, I sympathize with your MIL. I started wearing orthopedic shoes when I was 39 and I quickly got over mourning for fashion shoes. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do. The shoes available to me now are much more attractive and comfortable than they were a quarter of a century ago! I sure hope you find some help with the swelling and with locating suitable shoes.
(0)
Report
I ordered something from one of her catalogs - she insisted. I was Dr. Leonard's. I know I will have to send them back - but we do what we must to try and keep people happy, right? :0) Her doctor put her on a diuretic to try and get the swelling down. Now she says she is nauseous and more dizzy - so, we will try this for a week and see if things improve.

Because of her very high instep and the thickness of her foot from top to bottom - the 'cuter' Mary Jane's, etc. won't work for her. She is stuck with the HUGE clunky ones - and they ARE huge. She can't understand why she can fit into her little 'Soft Spots' from 15 years ago and can't fit into nicer looking ortho shoes. :0( I even tried ordering new Soft Spots and we couldn't get them on her feet - even in a size larger than the ones she has now.

We just keep trying................ In the meantime, I will take these big boots (as she calls them) back to the ortho doctor. If he won't refund (which I seriously doubt he will do since she has worn them 3-4 times) we may just 'donate' them or even try eBay.
(0)
Report
I went to a podiatrists with a foot issue years ago. Then some years back I injured by back and ended up in physical therapy. The physical therapist did more for my feet that the podiatrist ever did. You might want to check with your MIL's doc and get a referral to a PT. Maybe they have more to offer.
(1)
Report
The Footsmart catalogue carries shoes that you put your foot into, and then, there are flaps on each side, and in the middle...you literally "wrap" them around your feet....they have non-slip treads.....take a look at their on-line catalogue.....search for "swollen feet shoes with velcro closings
(0)
Report
Just took my MIL to the foot doctor again - for her regular foot care. I took along her 'new shoes' and told him she said they 'hurt her feet.'

He asked her to describe the pain, where it was - was it burning, stinging, aching, rubbing - and she said 'all of them.' He looked at her as though he couldn't believe what he heard. He looked at her feet. She has a bunion. The shoes are stretch fabric. Her feet are swollen. The toe box of the shoe is more than adequate to accommodate her feet - no matter how big they get. There was PLENTY of length beyond her toes. Basically, she could NOT tell him why the shoes hurt her feet or where. (that is because they don't hurt her feet) She prefers to go barefoot even though he has told her NEVER to go barefoot - she is diabetic.

He held up the shoe she had worn to the office next to the 'new shoe' and told her that if the small, tight shoe she wore to his office didn't hurt her feet - then he could see NO reason that the new shoe, which had more width and depth in the toe box depth and more length could 'hurt' her feet. He felt inside the shoe - there are NO seams. The insert was clean with no pebbles, bumps, etc.

He put the 'insert' from her new shoes into the heel of her old shoes to show her that the heel of the new shoe was exactly the same width as her old shoe. She said the new shoes rubbed up and down on her heel because they were too wide.

He spent 20 minutes grinding down the heel of the insert so it would sit deeper into the new shoe.

After he was done working on her feet - he put the 'new' ortho shoes on her and they fit very well. She wore them home - but I am sure she will never wear them again until we go to the foot doctor. She has been pouting since we went tot he foot doctor yesterday.

Basically, she HATES the way they look. They look bigger and clunkier than her old shoes and she hates that. Why she cannot be 'honest' and just admit she hates the LOOK of the new shoes and tell the doctor the truth is beyond me. I just hope her old shoes never wear out.
(0)
Report
UPDATE: Ordered two pair of shoes from Dr. Leonard's catalog at insistence of MIL. Since here feet are not the same size, one is swollen much more than the other - all the time - we could cram her foot into one WITH MUCH EFFORT but the other one wouldn't come near going on. Long story short, we mailed them back today. Cost $8 to ship them back. We have repeated this scenario three time in 4 years. NEVER AGAIN.

We saw her podiatrist on Monday and I took the New Ortho Shoes along with us - she only wears them to the foot doctor and this time I told her to wear her old regular shoes - that we were taking the Ortho Shoes back for either a refund or adjustment. This irritated her because now the doctor would find out that she does NOT wear the new shoes. :0(

I told the doctor that she refused to wear the new shoes. That she hated them.

She told him they 'hurt' her feet. He asked about how they hurt - what kind of pain, where, etc. I think I posted this elsewhere, but at this point, my brain functioning has been diminished :0(

She COULD NOT TELL HIM exactly how or wear they hurt her feet - she just said they 'hurt!' He looked at her oddly :0)

He whittled down the inserts at the heel so her foot sits lower in the shoe. He looked at her bunion and said it was obvious her OLD shoes WERE hurting her feet, her bunion was red where they were rubbing. He said he didn't see HOW she managed to cram her feet into her old shoes. He held up the old shoe next to the NEW ORTHO shoe and compared the toe box and put the insert from the NEW shoe into her old shoe at the heel to show her the heel was the same size - only the toe box was wider, longer and higher to accommodate her swollen feet. She just said 'no one knows what I go through. OH, Just wait until you are old - you'll know then!' (I can't wait!)

He trimmed her nails and callouses and put the new ortho shoes on her and she wore them home. She pouted all the way home and refused to have lunch out like we usually do when we go to the doctor. She is still pouting and won't come to our dinner table - eats alone.

I noticed she wore the New Shoes around her apt. yesterday. I went in to take her come chili and remind her to put her feet UP and asked her how the shoes felt since he adjusted the inserts. She said they HURT STILL MY FEET!

How can shoes that are 100% stretch material and have PLENTY of room for her feet - do not rub her bunion or toes - HURT? The insoles are smooth - no lumps or bumps. She still does not specify HOW they hurt. There's no winning this battle. She can wear the new shoes or her old shoes. Whatever she wants. But, NO MORE ordering shoes from a catalog, period. If you could see her feet you would know why. I will NOT be sucked into this again. If she needs shoes, she will talk to her podiatrist about them.
(1)
Report
SEE, I HAVE GONE CRAZY - POSTED THE SAME THING TWICE! Is there any help out there to save ME?
(1)
Report
Well, hey, at least she's worn them another day! That is progress, right?

I suppose that she didn't want to tell the doctor that they mostly hurt her eyes and her sense of fashion.

Stick to your guns on the no more catalog orders, and no more traipsing around to fashion shoe stores. She now has a source for shoes, and one that is covered by Medicare to boot, so that is where she gets her shoes. I hope you don't have a lot of hassle about this.

Thanks for letting us know the outcome.
(1)
Report
Personally, I think her new shoes look pretty good for the 'kind' of shoes they are. At this point, her feet are never going to look pretty again whether they are crammed into an old pair of stretched out shoes or put into a new 'bigger and clunkier' pair of orthopedic shoes. I know I won't like it any better than she does, but I hope I don't lose my 'SENSE' and insist on doing something that could be damaging to my health. She needs good support and comfort at this point in her life. She has it and doesn't even appreciate it. :0( Thanks for all the suggestions :0)
(1)
Report
Hopefully, her primary doctor will be able to suggest a place and type of shoe without killing your budget as well. You mention she has diabetes and swelling feet and especially if her legs are swelling more than usually can be cause of something else going on with her health. I know when my kidneys were not filtering like they should had that, I had swollen legs and feet at end of the day. The diabetic doctor gave me some lacet to help get the fluid build up out of my legs. I hope you are able to get some shoes she will wear. What about some type of house shoe for just around house and if the bottom sole is thick she can wear them out as well.
(0)
Report
My mother was diagnosed with congestive heart failure (CHF) in October. She weighed over 211 lbs and is not even 5 ft. She had swelling in her feet and legs. At the suggestion of the home care nurse, we used ace bandages wrapped around her feet and lower legs during the day to prevent the swelling. You may want to see if you can ger her fitted with some type of compression stockings as they can help with the swelling. As we moved them from IL to AL, she needed some type of shoes and none of hers fit and in the house she was wearing slippers. We went to Walmart to the men's and bought a pair of wide men's tennis shoes with velcro closures that helped in closing over her swollen feet. She was on 2 duiretics daily. She is now down 30 lbs and only 1 pill per day. We did finally get a new pair of shoes from her foot doctor. Some of the pain across the toes and such could be part of diabetic neuropathy which affects the nerve endings which causes pain. Good Luck.
(0)
Report
My grandma suffered from swollen feet and she had arthritis which caused her a lot of stress when it came to finding shoes. I remember she used to wear only one pair maybe two pairs of shoes at the most because those were the most comfortable. She would complain of not being able to walk for long periods of time because the shoes would hurt. I found the Wider Fit Shoes website to be really helpful and useful to what shoes she needed! I'm not a doctor or an expert but they do cater for people with swollen feet looking for extra wide shoes. Hope this helps!
(0)
Report
My mother is diabetic with Barney Rubble feet, so I can relate so well with what is being written here. She refuses to get orthopedic shoes, but wears sneakers that must be 100 years old. Around the house she wears slippers that give her feet no support at all. Her feet are a mess and hard to fit, but the main difficulty is her personality. She does not really grasp that her feet are vulnerable and that she could walk better and more safely with good shoes. She is going to do what she is going to do, so I have given up the battle. I ordered her some slip-on "dress" shoes in three colors from Dr. Leonard. She thinks those are comfortable and will wear them on Sundays to church. The shoes do not provide the support she needs, but they are better than what she was doing.
(1)
Report
My mom is diabetic and Medicare pays for a custom-fitted pair of shoes every year, that we get through her Podiatrist.

http://www.medicare.gov/coverage/therapeutic-shoes-or-inserts.html

There are many, many styles and some are really kind of cute. My mom got red patent leather mary janes one year! They were custom fitted with an impression made and measurements taken like they always are.
When she had some issues with swelling, the Dr, suggested another style and even though my mom likes the mary janes, went for it.
(0)
Report
Try this site, which has some rather stylish shoes for women with extra depth inserts and available in extremely wide widths - some have codes listed for insurance reimbursement for diabetics - healthyfeetstore
(0)
Report
Well, I am back here still trying to find shoes for my MIL. She is planning a visit to her sister in January and needs shoes. She still refuses to wear the shoes from the podiatrist and only has her 'soft spots' from 15+ years ago that have sort of stretched and morphed as her feet changed size and shape. She has a pair of sandals with velcro - but her feel are so big around that they just barely catch the velcro.

If I could find some decent looking stretch slippers with non slip bottoms - maybe she could wear them - but I have no idea where to look. I ordered some from Dr. Leonards last year and had to send them back. Her feet are Huge. Top to bottom they are over 4'' high! No arch - just one big fat foot and numb to boot! She really is in a predicament. She absolutely will not wear the ortho shoes :0(

So, anyone got any new ideas since the last time I posted?

thanks.
(0)
Report
You could try putting an extension on the Velcro on the sandals. Sew it firmly to the existing piece or if you can't sew use a stapler or have a shoe repair shop do it. if you can't find one a saddler usually does leather repairs and will have a heavy duty sewing machine. It is a simple job and anyone who sews could easily do it in five minutes
(0)
Report
That is a great idea Veronica91. I even know of a shoe repair shop near here - I will take them there next week. Wow - I think our problem is solved. Since she will be going to AZ and it will be warmer there - the sandals should be just fine. They are the only ones she can cram her feet into. Thanks for the great tip.

IF ANYONE KNOWS OF ANY HOUSE SLIPPERS that might work - to wear around her sister's ALF (she will be visiting her sister there for a while) that would be great. Something that could pass for 'shoes' :0)
(0)
Report
Try Footsmart.I am Diabetic,and have hard to fit feet.I found shoes that fit in Footsmart catalog.They are a bit pricey,they carry Dr Scholl,Drew etc.They are the only shoes I can wear.They have many different styles,from dress shoes to running and even stretch type shoes.
(0)
Report
Dear Oldcodger, I sympathize with your Mom's shoe dilemma, as I have gone through the same frustration, although my Mother is not diabetic. She has venous insufficiency with extremely swollen feet and calves - even diuretics can't bring them down to normal. The toes are also crooked and turned down (hammer toes?). She was also wearing a similarly worn out/stretched out pair of soft fabric sneakers for at least 10 years and insisted she wanted a new pair of the same (no luck). We both have big feet. I am a 10 wide, and with Mom's condition she has grown to 11 wide. I took her on several trips to Payless (can't afford more), to no avail. I shopped on my own and brought her another couple of pair and she gave the same arguments as your Mom - too big, not pretty/stylish enough. Finally, I found one more pair that was not only wide but also had a deep toe box and the heel cup was high enough for good support around the ankles (lace-ups). I tried them on myself to make sure they were roomy enough. The next time I visited the NH, I left the box in her closet, and told the Nurse that when she went to bed, to remove her old sneakers completely. The next day she had no choice but to wear the new sneakers. I did not visit her until the next weekend, by which time she had completely forgotten about her old sneakers and informed me of all the compliments she was getting on the new ones. As for slippers, that is a tough one. I had to resort to the corderouy mens slippers, but with the depth your Mom needs, even those probably would not work. I would suggest you get the largest size slipper with a velcro flap closure and have the shoemaker make an extension with a wide elastic strip so you can pull the closure over as far as you need to.
(0)
Report
Get her TED hose and have her put them on before she gets out of bed in the morning. It will help a lot with the swelling and they are really comfy.
(0)
Report
She is rapidly reaching a non-ambulatory state and it is critical to get the swelling down. Call the MD.
(0)
Report
Careful with water retention tablets she shouldnt take them for more than 2 wks at a time they can cause dehydration if she over does it.
My mums legs swell up she is diabetic and actually has nice feet? Her main problem is walking she wont walk anywhere when she does walk then her feet swell up simply due to lack of excercise and bad circulation but she wont listen.
(0)
Report
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter