I made my mom wear an adult undergarment (depends) last night. She has been having so many accidents in the past month that I reached my limit on how many times I could clean the bed, her and the floor. I helped her to bed and 8pm and I told her I would change her at 6 am. It is now 2 am and I can't sleep, I feel so guilty! Did I do the right thing by trying to help myself regain a bit of sanity? She would call out at night for me to come and lift her out of bed and help her into the bathroom and put her on the commode. Then I would have to lift her off and hoist her back in bed. Even with all this effort she still had many accidents throughout the night.
What I do with my clients, I do not call them diapers, pull ups or any other term that suggests there is something shameful in needing them like a baby. I just call them briefs. Tell your mom that these briefs will help her at night so she's not waking up to wet clothes, or a wet bed. And along with this, maybe a bedside commode can help eliminate the accidents she has on her way to the bathroom.
No one WANTS these unwelcome changes of aging, but it does not help to pretend we do not have to take steps to deal with them. You can reassure Mom its not her fault this has started happening to her, you can call them "hospital pants" instead of Depends or dipaers, and say they are just until we can find out what's wrong, but yes, you have no reasonable choice but to insist and sleep and sanitation.
Youe ARE being a good daughter. I hope that helps.