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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Mother and I estimated her expenses for maintenance, gas, parking garage fee at her residence, insurance, etc., and figured out that she could call a taxi a few times a month, especially if she shared with someone else (generally that "someone" was asking her to take them somewhere!". the amount she received for her car went a far way for such fares, too. We also discussed a couple of scares she had with a flat tire, and getting a little lost in an unfamiliar neighborhood where the roads had been reconstructed--she was out of her element--and had fortunately been helped by a kind stranger, but it could have been different both times. I told her that since I can't be with her, it would give me more peace of mind if she would just not be out on her own in her car anymore. She still misses being able to go on her own if she needs to or wants to, but she did understand the fear she had those times and relented.
I like these comments. It puts the onus on the professionals to take away the driving privileges, rather than the family. In my Mom's case she lost vision in one eye because of macular degeneration, yet insisted on driving on the back roads to church. When presented with the fact that she couldn't see a little kid or a dog running out on her left side and might hit them before she could stop, it got her attention. She FINALLY (and believe me, it took a lot of convincing) agreed to not renew her car insurance when it came due which was two months down the road. (I think the xx amount of dollars/year on insurance when she really wasn't driving that much was the kicker for a depression-era mom). During that time we worked on getting other people to pick her up for church and drive her home. That got the new routine started while she still was street legal, but it got her out of the habit. As soon as the insurance ran, we sold the car.
An important transition begins when the amount of driving is reduced. The threat to an aging adult’s independence is less of an issue if change in routine is gradual. As driving slowly becomes less and less a part of an individual’s routine, the less the individual will feel the desire to drive. The time period immediately following a major illness is a suitable time to have the discussion about driving and to set up a plan to limit driving. Medical and/or eye doctors can be prevailed upon to write letters to the local department of motor vehicles. In this manner a concerned child or loved one can utilize “the system” and have a trained professional evaluate the driving capabilities of an aging or compromised loved one. Most DMVs will send the individual a card to report for an update license check.
This was a tough one for us. When it came to mom, we took her to her DR. He did a full exam and told her that in his medical professional opinion, she should not be driving anymore. He explained response time to her and how easy it would be for her to cause a serious accident. She never drove again. Dad was not so easily dissuaded. We had to disable his car, but he fixed it at 90 years old. Finally we just removed it since it was in mom's name and sold it. By then, he realized that he could not longer drive. I was there to take him where he wanted to go and mom to the DR. and shopping. When dad dies, mom moved in with me and is totally dependent now. Yes, it is sad, but it is important to take that license. Good luck.
I know this is a sensitive topic, but the topic should be brought up with her, because it could lead to something dangerous. Just preface it by saying that you are only doing this because you care for her and her safety.
Does she have friends/neighbors that can still drive that can give her rides? Before you talk to her, maybe compile a list of phone numbers & names of friends, neighbors, family members that are there for her whenever she needs a ride. This may make her feel better, to know that there are other options. Naturally, she will be a bit upset, because as you said, her independence is being taken away, but hopefully it's not long lasting.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I told her that since I can't be with her, it would give me more peace of mind if she would just not be out on her own in her car anymore. She still misses being able to go on her own if she needs to or wants to, but she did understand the fear she had those times and relented.
I was there to take him where he wanted to go and mom to the DR. and shopping. When dad dies, mom moved in with me and is totally dependent now. Yes, it is sad, but it is important to take that license. Good luck.
Does she have friends/neighbors that can still drive that can give her rides? Before you talk to her, maybe compile a list of phone numbers & names of friends, neighbors, family members that are there for her whenever she needs a ride. This may make her feel better, to know that there are other options. Naturally, she will be a bit upset, because as you said, her independence is being taken away, but hopefully it's not long lasting.
Good luck to you!
Best,
Jackie