I just wanted to say thank you to all that gave me reassurance that I wasnt nuts and that we dont have to take the abuse from our family. In case this is the 1st time your reading my story, ill fill you in real quick. Mom lived with me, and my 2 teens for 8 yrs. Mom has end stage COPD, congestive heart failure, asthma, is narcissistic, bipolar, alzhiemers, and some dementia...and numerous more health issues. mom is also on hospice. She started having screaming panic attacks, and would overdose on her meds, wouldnt let anyone help her with them. started accusing us of making fun of her, talking about her, thinking people were in the house that werent, refusing to answer the ph when we called to check on her, sleeping all day, and staying up all night banging around. Falling asleep with her head in her food, sleeping standing up....etc... it was bad..
Well we got Mom into a NH. she hates it, and now hates me for it. Has accused my sister of stealing all her money ( she was self pay and the NH had to be paid) became paraniod that I would sell off all her things, and had her sister (my aunt) come over while I was at work and pack all her things. Now this Aunt works in a NH and has decided that since Im placing boundaries that Ive placed Mom and will forget about her. thats just not the case. Even tho when my sisters go see her all she does is complain about something Ive done or she imagines I will do. My sisters thankfully dont tell me whats been said, just that Mom is still mad at me. I tried to call her and she didnt answer.
So now Im placing much needed boundaries with my Mom, and I talk with my Aunt on a professional level only. Were supposed to take Mom for an early Mothers day lunch tomarrow, and Im wondering how that will go.....
The upside to all this, the kids are alot happier, and we are geting ready to paint and remodel the inside of the house.....yeah !!!...My fiance and I actually had the entire house to ourselves a couple weeks ago, and it was lovely........ its weird to say, but now we can breathe again
I am very sorry that your mother is still in so much pain and confusion. Keep in mind that it is NOT YOUR FAULT. I hope that she will come to a point of reconciliation before she passes, but whether that happens or not I am glad you can go on loving her with established boundaries.
Your mother is in the best place and she will adjust. My mother has been taking a newer, stronger medication for her mental health issues. I took her out yesterday for lunch, etc. and she was the best she has been in a long time. Think the medication is truly helping. Maybe if your Mom was placed on the correct meds, her moods would be better.
Your life seems to be falling into place now and you deserve it and certainly have earned it. Happy, Happy Mother's Day
Ya know, I read some of the other posts, and some people on this site are just mean to each other, belittling, and acting like they are better. so im glad ya'l found me.... ((hugs))