My dad died in 2018 just six weeks after being diagnosed with inoperable liver cancer. He faced his mortality with incredible grace, and he took that time to call everyone who was important to him and tell them how much he appreciated them. He was my mother's caregiver and he entrusted her care to me with full confidence, and I learned compassion, patience and kindness for my mother from him. "She's built up a lot of credit," he told me.
Near the end he had a Facetime call with my older son and his girlfriend. These two were like peas in a pod from the time they'd met in high school and they'd just graduated from college a few months before and moved to Colorado to start grad school and work. My dad told them, "I have only one regret, and that's that I won't get to see your wedding."
I was in the room during this call, but it just about killed me. They weren't even engaged yet -- they were only 22 years old -- but he knew as we all did that they'd get married one day.
Now the wedding is upon us on April 23, and I hope I can get through it without being a blubbering mess. My dad was so very proud of all his grandchildren, and he loved my son's fiancee like his own. I, too, regret that my dear dad won't be there to see his namesake stand up and get married.
I also hope I don't fall off my high heels...
Dad woke UP the moment the chaplain came in to perform the ceremony & my son & his bride were standing before him! He smiled and said "I love you both" and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. The chaplain performed the ceremony and dad stayed awake the entire time, miraculously. We all got to kiss him and say some words to him before he closed his eyes once again. He passed away 18 hours later.
If you cry at your son's wedding, so be it. Your dad will be there for the event in spirit, that you can count on! Just make sure your heels aren't TOO high in case you lose your balance. But if you do, your dad will be there to prop you up, even if you don't believe in such things.
Congratulations on this blessed event, MJ! Have fun & dance a lot too.
Bring some extra eye makeup to do a touch up between the ceremony and the pics, and let us know how those heels held!
You know, even if a day is totallly bone wearying & tear inducing emotional - I want to live it, to experience it.
To feel ALL the feels.
Cry if you want to cry.
Laugh as well.
(Then maybe sleep for 3 days)
May you make many memories on the coming special day 🤗
I'm a champion blubberer, but I've recently discovered that my son the groom is, too, as is the bride's father and one of the bridesmaids. I may be the one who's the most together after all, because I'm just kind of ready to be past the emotions.
Did I mention that the weekend after the wedding is the estate sale for my parents' house? And it's on the same day as what would have been my mother's 93rd birthday? And my birthday is the day after that, and it'll be the first birthday in my life that I won't share with my mother?
Nah, I'm totally fine... 😣
Second, I totally believe your father will there in spirit, so he will be there!
Congratulations on gaining a daughter! Have a joyous day. *hug*