Follow
Share

This is not a question post but just a "talk" that some of you might be interested in. I visited my father recently in his new facility. Each time I go, I cry when I get home. He is doing well for his age and issues but I can see the decline. One of the things that have been said many times on this forum is that we did not make them old. Getting older is a blessing and a privilege. My therapist told me once that I'm a "fixer". She was right. I think I can fix everything or at least try but I can't fix my father getting older. All I know is that it hurts. I did not have a happy childhood and I still have issues because of it but it still hurts me to see him decline. I do not have any siblings so I'm alone in all of this. I'm so thankful for this forum and I apologize if I'm posting this in the wrong place. If anyone feels like me, chime in. Maybe we can help each other.

Find Care & Housing
Faithful beauty it does hurt to watch them slowly going down hill.

Deal with your pain when you get home, then try the best you can to shake it off. Tell yourself over and over, I did the best that I can and I deserve happiness.

You say it enough times , you really do start to believe it.
(2)
Report

This is a good ongoing discussion for that section of the forum: Discussions. Lots to discuss on this topic for sure.
(1)
Report

I agree it hurts. Part of that hurt, for me, is realizing that I, too, am getting older. While there are things I like about getting older, the really painful part is realizing most of my life is behind me and constantly having to witness the deaths of my family and friends. It reminds me to be grateful for each day I have.
(3)
Report

Yes that is also part of the hurt, but it also can make us want to be the healthiest we can be, but more importantly the happiest we can be
(1)
Report

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this, but one thing that really shocked me on this forum, which I didn't realize before AC , is how long people last, or lingerie, without being able to walk and hardly eating. Years sometimes.

Which is good that I'm more prepared for that, and I think this will be my mother, because she is so stubborn and has a fear of death, with a deteorating back.

So I expected this to be her future, and know now is the time to let go, let God , with moms issues. There is no way I can hold onto the stress that I was holding onto for years to come.

AC opened my eyes to this and I'm Greatfull, also know that's not what I want for me!!
(3)
Report

@Anxietynacy,
I have also seen people linger for years. I think some people want to and then I have heard some say they do not want to linger once they get to certain point. My dad has said that he wants everything done medically for him that can be done and if that if he becomes severally ill, and there is nothing more they can do, he would rather go on. So the decision is in my hands and it would be hard one even though I know his wishes.
(0)
Report

Oh my faithbeauty, that's my mom I suspect, which is probably why she won't give me any power.

I'm really really realizing how lucky I am in that.

I saw an Instagram post , someone said I'm going to die because my children are going to unplug me to charge there phones. Which may be my mom's worry. 😵‍💫😛
(1)
Report

I truly understand. When my parents got very sick, I didn't see a long decline with them. They were sick, and probably lasted a few months and they were gone.
Looking at my aunt, it really makes me not want to get old. She's lingering and immobile and dependent with limited family around. She's never had children, like myself. I don't want to be this way. It's really made me think hard about aging. Aging is cruel. I said it.
(5)
Report

Personally, I dread the prospect of lingering in a bleak facility with dementia, crapping in a diaper, and chronic ageing maladies worsening. The wonderful classic and inspiring movie "Harold and Maude" sounds like a pretty good plan to me. I'm only 75 now, so I may change my mind later.
(3)
Report

I plan to avail myself of MAID while I am still able, timing that is the hard part. Witnessing my parents linger way longer than they should, with my mother finally dying at 95 in June, and my father still lingering with no end in sight in the nursing home and soon to be 96, I'd rather be dead.

Lingering in poor health is not a privilege, it is a curse.
(3)
Report

I found what they called VESD , volunteering to stop eating and drinking. Which I never heard about before, but some were talking about it here a few weeks ago. It was rather interesting read anyways. And something I'm going to keep in mind along with MAID.

Seeing that I'm a more eat to live kind of person. I find it interesting anyways
(1)
Report

I guess this is a good thread to put this, a long time resident in my area, 93 died, I just learned he shot himself.

I don't know exactly how to feel about that actually, I heard he just got diagnosed with cancer. I feel deeply for the ones that found him, when he didn't show for his weekly breakfast out, they went to check on him.
(1)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter