I have had a bedside commode in my husband's living area for years. He is now incontinent to the point he no longer uses it, has not used it for over a month. I wanted to move it out of his room but one of my paid caregivers said this is demoralizing. May I please have comments from others? Thank you.
Just remember, these people are being paid to care for a client. They can suggest but thats it. You do what you want in your house.
Aging Care.com
Tell them it is a requirement of working with your husband that they
view this website.
Have them run their "advice" through here first.
Their job is to care for your husband, not "advise" you.
However, some advice is warranted for safety reasons.
This is not one of those times.
I personally have found that doubting myself causes me the most trouble,
when asking for everyone's advice. I think maybe I just need some support, not advice.
I would ask them: Why can't you transfer him to the commode regularly or to the bathroom in time, so as to limit the use of diapers, which is also demoralizing, imo.
So, if they want to keep it, they should be using it to assist your husband.
Do what is best for your husband, then you. Third parties are no fun.
I can understand how much more difficult caregiving can be when you feel you have to explain, or are put in a position to answer to others: other caregivers, family, neighbors, etc. Tell them to put it in writing, and you will run it by their agency's boss.
Welcome, and thanks for checking in.
Are you taking care of yourself properly today?
All of his caregivers are CONSTANTLY giving me advice - go buy him a hamburger, feed him this, feed him that, get a ramp built, move my husband to another living area of the home, change his room this way, that way, put out bird seed and plants for him (he rarely goes outside - it would be one more thing for me to take care of that I just can't possibly manage at this stage), etc., etc. I have a limited pool of caregivers in my area so I try to bite my tongue - but it's tough some days.