My question is if I call APS will they make my dad leave his home and move into a nursing home...his home is unhealthy and hoarded...he won't let me in his home to help him clean up...he doesn't want any help of any kind and now I think he's getting dementia...we both live in Georgia and I'm just lost and out of ideas to help him....he won't live with us he won't try to down size to a smaller home...me and my husband have tried many times to offer him help he just won't take it....I'm afraid APS will make him leave his own home and live in a nursing home...this would kill him bc he loves his independence...any suggestions? thanks
Early dementia is usually far from incompetence.
Most folks have discovered that their parents thrived in their new environment.
I would make the call.
from my own experience with hoarders, nothing you say will cause him to suddenly “see the light”. The only way you can make him safe is to call APS and let them do their job.
I had a similar experience with an elderly neighbor. She defiantly refused help and held on to her tragic idea of independence until she fell and broke her hip. Then social workers became involved and she was given the option of living with a family member or going to a nursing home. My point being that intervention is necessary and if you don’t call APS, something will likely happen to trigger the process anyway. I think you may have a better outcome if you’re the one to get the ball rolling.
No matter how this turns out, don’t feel guilty. You didn’t create this problem. You just want him to be safe. You’re a good daughter.