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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I acknowledge and authorize
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
With a diagnosis of dementia she no longer knows what is safe for her and safe for you. Placing her in Memory Care is a difficult decision, one that is not made on a whim or spur of the moment. It takes planning, thought and care.
It amazes me that care Facilities either Memory Care of Assisted Living are staffed round the clock with people that are trained, many get educational hours to keep their certification current and valid yet some how "we" expect or are expected to do the same in the home with no one usually to help, no equipment and a house that has not been built to accommodate someone in a wheelchair or using equipment.
I based planning on moving my Husband to Memory Care when it came to SAFETY. That was the one thing that would have made the decision for me. If it was no longer safe for HIM for me to care for him at home... If it was no longer safe for ME to care for him at home.... I would have made the difficult decision to place him.
other people have other triggers that would be the factor that would place their loved one. Toileting, violence, unable to transfer.... YOU make the decision that is best for YOU. If you are physically, mentally, emotionally exhausted you can not continue the way you are. It becomes dangerous. Here we are back to SAFETY again.
Placing her is not giving up. It is accepting that you can not do this alone, safely. No one WANTS to go to a Nursing Home, Memory Care but sometimes it is necessary.
With all that your wife has going on,(according to your profile)it seems like you're now to the point where you not only have to do what's best for her, but for you as well. And unfortunately that probably means that she really doesn't have a say in the matter anymore. You are probably more than burned out and are just coming to the realization that you can't continue on like you have been, and that's ok. We're all human, and we all have our breaking points. So instead of "leaving," perhaps it's time you get serious about finding the appropriate facility to place your wife in, so you can get back to just being her husband and her advocate, and let the rest of the 24/7 care fall on folks better equipped to deal with her care. I'm sure you've done a great job so far, so don't beat yourself up because you're now at the point of having to place her. You matter too, and while it will be hard to place her, in the long run you already know that it's for the best, and is what needs to be done. I wish you both the very best.
Just asking b/c if you really don't want to leave HER, but need help, maybe the answer is the 2 of you moving to an assisted living apartment, where she can get the care she needs and you can be free to come and go.
I know of many couples who have made this choice. Most of them kept the 'family home' renting it to family--or whatever works, with the idea that once the sick member of the marriage needs MORE care, or passes away--the healthier if the two can return home.
In a lot of cases, the CG dies before the one being cared for. I think it's about 35%---that's a lot.
Come back and add to your story, so we will know how to best respond.
BTW, it's NOT wrong to want your own life, and 24/7 CG is brutal on even the healthiest person.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Placing her in Memory Care is a difficult decision, one that is not made on a whim or spur of the moment. It takes planning, thought and care.
It amazes me that care Facilities either Memory Care of Assisted Living are staffed round the clock with people that are trained, many get educational hours to keep their certification current and valid yet some how "we" expect or are expected to do the same in the home with no one usually to help, no equipment and a house that has not been built to accommodate someone in a wheelchair or using equipment.
I based planning on moving my Husband to Memory Care when it came to SAFETY. That was the one thing that would have made the decision for me.
If it was no longer safe for HIM for me to care for him at home...
If it was no longer safe for ME to care for him at home....
I would have made the difficult decision to place him.
other people have other triggers that would be the factor that would place their loved one. Toileting, violence, unable to transfer....
YOU make the decision that is best for YOU.
If you are physically, mentally, emotionally exhausted you can not continue the way you are. It becomes dangerous. Here we are back to SAFETY again.
Placing her is not giving up. It is accepting that you can not do this alone, safely.
No one WANTS to go to a Nursing Home, Memory Care but sometimes it is necessary.
You are probably more than burned out and are just coming to the realization that you can't continue on like you have been, and that's ok. We're all human, and we all have our breaking points. So instead of "leaving," perhaps it's time you get serious about finding the appropriate facility to place your wife in, so you can get back to just being her husband and her advocate, and let the rest of the 24/7 care fall on folks better equipped to deal with her care.
I'm sure you've done a great job so far, so don't beat yourself up because you're now at the point of having to place her. You matter too, and while it will be hard to place her, in the long run you already know that it's for the best, and is what needs to be done.
I wish you both the very best.
Just asking b/c if you really don't want to leave HER, but need help, maybe the answer is the 2 of you moving to an assisted living apartment, where she can get the care she needs and you can be free to come and go.
I know of many couples who have made this choice. Most of them kept the 'family home' renting it to family--or whatever works, with the idea that once the sick member of the marriage needs MORE care, or passes away--the healthier if the two can return home.
In a lot of cases, the CG dies before the one being cared for. I think it's about 35%---that's a lot.
Come back and add to your story, so we will know how to best respond.
BTW, it's NOT wrong to want your own life, and 24/7 CG is brutal on even the healthiest person.