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How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My Husband was always a hugger. As his dementia progressed I could not get him to give me a hug, even if I took his arms and wrapped them around me. He did however hold hands and he would always give me a kiss good bye and a kiss when I returned. (I would go to his wheelchair and tell him I was "going to work" and he would kiss me and when I got back I would go and tell him I was back and he would smile and give me a kiss.) We are going to get into this again folks.... Intimacy. It is one of the things that Dementia steals from US. Dementia steals the brain, the memories of the person that has it but it is the intimacy that is so often missed and needed. On the other hand there are some dementia's that the opposite is happening and the person with dementia often becomes over demanding. And that brings up a point, one that I personally would struggle with How can you be intimate with someone that no longer has capacity to reason?
Oh well back on topic. For hand holding can you rub some lotion onto her hands? Is there a problem with personal care if she does not want to be touched? Or can someone else care for her and she accepts that? As far as intimate touch..I think you will have to accept that her brain no longer wants to deal with that stimulation. You have to remember it is not about you, it is not personal it is her disease that is ruling her brain now.
Sorry for your situation. I guess it's just part of her condition. Please do not take it personally! She is not who she used to be and means you no disrespect. She's not the same person you married anymore. The only thing you can really do is find a way to accept it and not be hurt by it. It is a loss so it's OK to be a little sad about it, but try not to dwell.
I am so sorry but my Mom got this way too. Especially if it was a man.
There is a great Youtube video on Alzheimers. Put Alzheimer's Video in YouTube search. Pick the Video with the yellow brain. It explains the progression. May help you understand what happens when part of the brain is effected.
Those with a Dementia lose the ability to interact with others. They cannot show empathy or have the ability to understand they have hurt someone. They become self centered. They can't see what they do effects others.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
We are going to get into this again folks....
Intimacy.
It is one of the things that Dementia steals from US. Dementia steals the brain, the memories of the person that has it but it is the intimacy that is so often missed and needed. On the other hand there are some dementia's that the opposite is happening and the person with dementia often becomes over demanding.
And that brings up a point, one that I personally would struggle with How can you be intimate with someone that no longer has capacity to reason?
Oh well back on topic.
For hand holding can you rub some lotion onto her hands?
Is there a problem with personal care if she does not want to be touched? Or can someone else care for her and she accepts that?
As far as intimate touch..I think you will have to accept that her brain no longer wants to deal with that stimulation.
You have to remember it is not about you, it is not personal it is her disease that is ruling her brain now.
There is a great Youtube video on Alzheimers. Put Alzheimer's Video in YouTube search. Pick the Video with the yellow brain. It explains the progression. May help you understand what happens when part of the brain is effected.
Those with a Dementia lose the ability to interact with others. They cannot show empathy or have the ability to understand they have hurt someone. They become self centered. They can't see what they do effects others.